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Original poster

If you used to believe in God, but not anymore, why?

198 replies

HankHillsPropane · 22/03/2021 13:35

I was brought up in quite a religious home. As this is the status quo in my home country i.e. everyone is extremely religious, I never knew anything different. I grew up believing in God/heaven/hell, church every Sunday, prayers every night, praying whenever I needed something..etc

I think I started to have my doubts around the age of 15, and properly gave up on the idea when I was around 17. I'm 30 now.

For me it's the absolutely shocking state of the world we live in that made me completely give up on the existence of God. I felt that even if there was a 'higher power' of some sort who had engineered all of this, they were very much the opposite of benevolent(sadistic even?), and probably did not deserve my worship.

Just the constant barrage of disasters, evil, chaos, inequalities, atrocities, the absolute randomness and luck that defines our existence...I mean look around. Would anyone really want to put their name to this?

Anyway, what was your turning point? When did you stop believing in God?

OP posts:
JammyGem · 22/06/2021 23:11

For me it was the stupidest thing. My family aren't religious but I went to a CofE primary school that really laid it on thick. As a child I completely and utterly believed in God, and thought He was watching me all the time- I was quite a lonely child and used to spend hours talking to Him. We didn't go to church outside of school events but I used to read the bible and pray every night. Then in my early teens I became fascinated with Ancient Greece and just couldn't get my head around them worshipping all these other gods and not realising He existed, and then I became worried that God tricked them into breaking the idolatry commandment and then it's not their fault they sinned and did they all go to hell and does that mean everyone in ancient times went to hell and what about people who've never heard of Christianity like those lost tribes in the Amazon and and and... I was really confused for quite some time, and as a shy loner who was the only believer in my family I didn't have anyone to talk it through with.

Then I read the quote attributed to Marcus Aurelius: Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.

It made something just click in me and I realised there's too much suffering for God to be just, and I didn't want to talk to believe in an unjust God... so I just didn't. My faith evaporated in seconds.

JammyGem · 22/06/2021 23:17

Also, on a lighthearted note, even as a believer I had a deep-seated suspicion and dislike of practicing Christians because my neighbour, the verger's wife, was (and still is!) the biggest hypocrite and snob I've known, who among other things made 4 year old me cry after mercilessly ridiculing my favourite hat. I loved that hat so much but never wore it again after that encounter Angry

Audo · 24/06/2021 11:25

Like SheepGoBaa wrote, you can be a Unitarian and be a Humanist, or come from some other faith tradition. I used to attend a Unitarian church and the minister paid a lot of attention to other faith traditions and to the natural environment. Unitarians are not expected to let someone else (or some holy book) tell them what to believe but to be able to make up their own minds based on reason and knowledge.

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Philosophy & religion
brokentelemetry · 26/06/2021 17:05

@lightand

I pray that those who have been let done by others, particularly those who have been let down by those inside a church, find peace. And yes, God.

And to those who have not found God yet, that they too find God at some point in time.

How patronising.
jsp5642 · 26/06/2021 17:07

My religious belief waxes and wanes dramatically depending on the climate that I'm living in (weather). If I'm in the north where it's quite dark, I come over all religious. When I'm living in the south where the sun is bright, I stop thinking about religion entirely. It's a very marked change and takes maybe 3 or 4 days to kick in.

VariantL1130 · 26/06/2021 17:10

I was converted via school friends when I was 12-13 and I went with them to a very happy clappy church. When I went to university I joined the Christian Union and another happy clappy church.

I had a terrible childhood and church gave me the family I was craving.

But... As I hit my mid 20s and became more secure person, I realised that I was only going along with it to be part of the club.

Lots of things started to not add up to me and then I read the God Delusion by Richard Dawkins and he swung it for me.

BringBackThinEyebrows · 26/06/2021 17:51

This thread is really interesting.

I had a strict religious upbringing. Attended catholic schools and went to church every Sunday (everyday during Holy Week). My parents were abusive and praying didn't help me. I had non-religious friends who had better lives.

I remember being taken to confession as a child, sat in a tiny room with a strange man and being told to confess my sins. I'd say 'fighting with my sibling' but recall the sense of injustice because my sibling would start the fights 😂

I stopped believing by the time I was due to make my confirmation (age 14). I really didn't want to but I would have been beaten for refusing. Also read The God Delusion as a teenager.

Now I see how homophobic, sexist, and racist some 'religious' people are. Church attendance has been dwindling for years and I'm not surprised.

TwigTheWonderKid · 26/06/2021 18:35

I think all religions are a fiction created to help us make sense of the world and to provide sets of rules for societies, some of which are useful but most of which are not.

I stopped believing in God when my mum died when I was 20. I would have given anything to believe she was in a "better place" and that we'd be reunited in heaven one day, but I just realised it was bollocks concocted to stop human beings feeling terrified of death (and of course to make people behave and to control them).

I hate the idea that people only behave well because God is watching them and they will be punished by hell and damnation if not. I am perfectly capable of doing the right thing for no other reason than it is the right thing to do.

I also think if there is some omnipotent being, why on earth would they give a toss whether or not we mere insignificant creatures worship them?!

springydaff · 03/07/2021 21:21

Reading the responses, can you not see the difference between God and religion? The church doesn't represent God (imo). Far from it most of the time. The VERY opposite.

What if God was gorgeous. Gorgeously loving and fabulous, utterly without prejudice or judgement. Utterly accepting - though fierce on elements that harm their beloved (ie us). Ferociously bright ie intelligent.

What if God 'pathetically' loves and longs to hear from their beloved ie everyone. What if God longs to help, to comfort, but won't intrude unless invited.

It's a seductive narrative. But I think it's much closer to the truth about God than religion. Vile, vile religion.

springydaff · 03/07/2021 21:41

I wonder if, when God said "do not use my name in vain", they didn't mean blaspheming (verbal re OMG! Jesus Christ! etc); they meant do not say this is me, do not tie and imprison people with (vicious, unyielding) religious rules and say that is me.

Jesus loathed the.religious rulers when he was alive. He said they loaded burdens on people's backs - and didn't lift a finger to help.

No different today. Religion still contort people, refuses us our humanity, viciously censure.

The very opposite of God. Imo.

Moonmelodies · 03/07/2021 22:24

Springydaff how can you possibly know what God said? Or what Jesus did or didn't loathe??
Because of religion perhaps?

wed8pril · 04/07/2021 07:19

It's possible to not like religion or God.

Longestfewdaysupcoming · 04/07/2021 07:23

I just can’t do the leap of faith now. I don’t know when I lost it it was a gradual thing but my brain just won’t do it. Haven’t gone to church is 20 years.

I do try to live a good life and if there is a god or dogs and they have a problem with that so be it.

springydaff · 04/07/2021 07:42

It's possible to not like religion or God.

Of course! Just don't get them mixed up? Two (very) different things.

Ghostlyglow · 04/07/2021 08:51

I'm a clergy kid. Need I say more.

BadGherkin · 04/07/2021 08:52

RC family, with religion very ingrained in everyday life. RC school, life and knowledge framed through religious lens.

One day was reading about Scientology, amazed at the absolute absurdity of an alien being that followers worshiped, of such draconian rules and laws that made no sense, of the rituals and practices that were bizarre and centred men like a pyramid scheme.

Then was struck by the realisation that their story was the story of the religion I’d grown up with, just with different labels and names.

GinJeanie · 04/07/2021 12:23

@Greenbks - I'm so sorry you lost your beautiful baby ❤. I think it's one of the cruelest, most painful things to go through and my heart goes out to you.
One of our children also died in infancy and going into a church still makes me irrationally angry after all these years. I've never had a faith either. However, one of my best friend's mother (extremely religious) did have the gall to say to me, "he's in a better place" 😡. I assumed she meant heaven and replied "I'd rather have him here with us please". Never forgotten that...

SixStringFanjo · 04/07/2021 16:06

From a very young age. Firstly because the god I was taught about wasn't very nice and as I grew older and able to form my own logic, wasn't plausible either.

I devoured the picture bibles I read at home and at school and loved all the stories, but quickly realised that the god in the bible was vengeful and narcissistic, often punishing randomly and unjustly. His morals more often ran contrary to the morals I was being taught by my parents and certainly didn't show any magnanimity.

Nowadays it's the science and logic that stops me believing but early on he just didn't seem the type of being I could have any respect for based on my early value system. It was the unjustness and disproportionate nature of some of the punishments that initially made 7yo me reject the god I was being taught.

Sccc7 · 06/07/2021 15:35

@lightand

I pray that those who have been let done by others, particularly those who have been let down by those inside a church, find peace. And yes, God.

And to those who have not found God yet, that they too find God at some point in time.

ODFOD
springydaff · 06/07/2021 21:30

Righty ho, Sccc7. I get that the god thing is incendiary. I mean I really do.

Re the bible, esp the old testament: ancient, middle Eastern document, no? We don't even understand /comprehend modern ME life, let alone an ancient document about the culture then. Ancient, right?

springydaff · 06/07/2021 21:33

I mean super ancient. About a culture that is so foreign to us even now.

Germolenequeen · 06/07/2021 21:48

Because my beautiful son has been suicidal on and off since he was 13 & believe me I prayed

Bangkokbaby · 06/07/2021 21:56

@sarahfic

I did a theology degree!
Me too! 😂
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