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Original poster

If you used to believe in God, but not anymore, why?

198 replies

HankHillsPropane · 22/03/2021 13:35

I was brought up in quite a religious home. As this is the status quo in my home country i.e. everyone is extremely religious, I never knew anything different. I grew up believing in God/heaven/hell, church every Sunday, prayers every night, praying whenever I needed something..etc

I think I started to have my doubts around the age of 15, and properly gave up on the idea when I was around 17. I'm 30 now.

For me it's the absolutely shocking state of the world we live in that made me completely give up on the existence of God. I felt that even if there was a 'higher power' of some sort who had engineered all of this, they were very much the opposite of benevolent(sadistic even?), and probably did not deserve my worship.

Just the constant barrage of disasters, evil, chaos, inequalities, atrocities, the absolute randomness and luck that defines our existence...I mean look around. Would anyone really want to put their name to this?

Anyway, what was your turning point? When did you stop believing in God?

OP posts:
TooBigForMyBoots · 20/06/2021 11:14

You do know that god didn't write the bible @lightand. It is a bunch of books written by Jewish and Christian men over centuries that were compiled into one book by other men in the 4th century.

NCwhatsmynameagain · 20/06/2021 11:16

When I lost my father. I needed answers desperately and didn’t find any. And overnight my faith was gone. So I have been grieving both him and the belief system I had my whole life, simultaneously.

TreesoftheField · 20/06/2021 11:19

Raised in a very loving Methodist church, everyone felt like family.
Went away to uni and couldn't replicate that feeling anywhere. Started having doubts when my kind loving friend, who was rejected by her Catholic grandparents for being born to unmarried parents, was told she was going to hell for not believing, despite all her good actions.
I continued trying but eventually found myself standing in church just feeling a massive hypocrite . I love singing hymns and being in that loving environment but I Don believe in God and it doesn't feeright to go to services just to feel nice!

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Philosophy & religion
lightand · 20/06/2021 11:20

@TooBigForMyBoots

You do know that god didn't write the bible *@lightand*. It is a bunch of books written by Jewish and Christian men over centuries that were compiled into one book by other men in the 4th century.
All inspired by God. Obviously.

For those who read and know the Bible well, any anomolies to it would stick out like a sore thumb.

Even those verses, which we only have part of, or say, unknown or whether could have a. or b. meaning, it is often quite easy sometimes to work out which was meant.

How2Help · 20/06/2021 11:21

If you used to believe in God, but not anymore, why?

Because of people. People with views like lightand’s. Because you have to believe in God in “the right way” or it doesn’t count.

Hen2018 · 20/06/2021 11:23

“I pray that those who have been let done by others, particularly those who have been let down by those inside a church, find peace. And yes, God.

And to those who have not found God yet, that they too find God at some point in time.”

Please don’t. Massively inappropriate comment on this thread.

maddiemookins16mum · 20/06/2021 11:26

I was baptised Catholic, attended Catholic schools for most of my school life. Made my FHC at around 6 or 7 (I assume). This was approx 1972/3. My darling, lovely mum was a single parent. Had divorced my abusive father a year or so before.
After the FHC service, there was a FHC breakfast in the church hall, bottles of pop, sandwiches, cake etc. All us kids went upstairs for the ‘party’, parents close by. EXCEPT my mum, she was shunned and told it was inappropriate as she was divorced. I’ll never forget the shame on her face. She had to wait outside on a park bench.

Spidey66 · 20/06/2021 11:35

I’m a Londoner but my parents were Irish Catholic and that was how I was brought up. RC schools, mass every Sunday the works.

I had doubts early on. Once I’d been told the facts of life I was like ‘ok you’re telling me this was where I came from but Mary was a virgin? Yeah right! Can you imagine if I came home and said I’m pregnant and you asked who the dad was and I said I’d not had sex but an angel came down and told me I was expecting the son of God!’ just couldn’t buy it and all the other miracles.

In Ireland when I was growing up the Catholic Church reigned supreme and no one was allowed to criticise it. I’m so glad things have changed but am horrified at all the abuse that’s happened at their hands. Noone was believed for decades.

In a way I wish I could believe. My grandad for example had a quiet dignified belief in Catholicism which helped him when he was dying. But asking me to believe in God is like asking me to believe in the tooth fairy or Father Christmas. I can’t do it, sorry.

AlexaShutUp · 20/06/2021 11:49

@Greyie

What’s interesting is that those very very tunnel visioned about a god or a faith, are often (not always!), like members of a club, judgmental, give the impression of being above others.

I would rather not be a member of such a club and be a kind, open minded person as far as it’s possible to be. Recognising at the same time that I am human, horribly limited, and can make wrong judgments and be a totally nasty cow sometimes just like anyone else. I’m not above anyone and nobody is above me. That’s the most compassionate way to be in my opinion. Faith and belief in god is fair enough - but when it becomes an exclusive and judgemental club, no thanks.

Yes, that was absolutely one of the things that made me realise that it wasn't real. Smug religious people who believed that they had all the answers and prayed for those who didn't. It was so obvious that they didn't have all the answers, the whole thing began to look quite hollow.
SheepGoBaaaa · 20/06/2021 11:53

Oh, honestly @lightand, you should really do a bit of basic reading. If you don’t even know about the long history of ideological disagreements between different sets of believers that led to there being different, divergent and overlapping canons of biblical texts, then you just make believers of your stripe look dim.

Violetvintage8 · 20/06/2021 12:26

@lightand

I pray that those who have been let done by others, particularly those who have been let down by those inside a church, find peace. And yes, God.

And to those who have not found God yet, that they too find God at some point in time.

I genuinely find this as offensive as trying to convert a religious person to being an atheist. I am not lost and I do not need to find anything, I am a peaceful and contented person. It is my choice to not have a religion
NoDramaMama14 · 20/06/2021 12:35

Believing in God and having faith in God are two very different things. Grace is available to all through Christ Jesus. Does it mean that evil doesn't exist? Absolutely not. I have faith, I don't go to church though, because I believe in the goodness of God, not other human beings.

Annehedonia · 20/06/2021 12:37

@NoDramaMama14

Believing in God and having faith in God are two very different things. Grace is available to all through Christ Jesus. Does it mean that evil doesn't exist? Absolutely not. I have faith, I don't go to church though, because I believe in the goodness of God, not other human beings.
I think you may have wandered in to the wrong thread by mistake.
Lampzade · 20/06/2021 12:45

I believe in God, I just have issues with organised religion .
Some of the worst people I know go to church weekly while some of the nicest people don’t step foot in a church

Lampzade · 20/06/2021 12:47

@maddiemookins16mum

I was baptised Catholic, attended Catholic schools for most of my school life. Made my FHC at around 6 or 7 (I assume). This was approx 1972/3. My darling, lovely mum was a single parent. Had divorced my abusive father a year or so before. After the FHC service, there was a FHC breakfast in the church hall, bottles of pop, sandwiches, cake etc. All us kids went upstairs for the ‘party’, parents close by. EXCEPT my mum, she was shunned and told it was inappropriate as she was divorced. I’ll never forget the shame on her face. She had to wait outside on a park bench.
That’s terrible
Jaxhog · 20/06/2021 12:56

After having read the bible, cover to cover. I don't know why exactly, but I suddenly realized I no longer believed in God. I remember the moment distinctly as I was on the bus going to visit a friend. I was so struck, I got off the bus and walked the rest of the way. I was16.

Susie477 · 20/06/2021 13:03

I was brought up as a Catholic & went to Catholic schools. Mass every Sunday, confession, communion, confirmation. The lot. My brothers were altar boys, but I lacked the requisite genitalia to be considered for that ‘honour’. 🙄

As a small child, I was too young to question what adults told me about god, but as I got older, doubts started to emerge. When I was about 10 one of the nuns was teaching us about Doubting Thomas, the disciple who refused to believe in Jesus’ resurrection until he saw the evidence of his wounds with his own eyes. This was wrong, we were told. We should believe what the bible teaches us. I thought Thomas sounded like a sensible chap, and that he was right to ask for evidence.

It was the first time I seriously questioned anything an adult had told me about religion. I realised the nun believed in things for which there was no actual evidence, and was telling us we had to do the same, which I simply wasn’t prepared to do. That was the beginning of the end, and by the time I was 15 I had become a complete atheist.

lightand · 20/06/2021 13:14

@Jaxhog

After having read the bible, cover to cover. I don't know why exactly, but I suddenly realized I no longer believed in God. I remember the moment distinctly as I was on the bus going to visit a friend. I was so struck, I got off the bus and walked the rest of the way. I was16.
I do think there are some misconceptions.

Believing in God is not the same as becoming a Christian.

Becoming a Christian involves confessing with your heart that Jesus is Lord, and believing he was raised from the dead.
Those two things, not just one.

I appreciate though, that you and others are answering the original op.

Just to be clear, your post doesnt mean you cannot become a Christian at some point.

lightand · 20/06/2021 13:17

@AlexaShutUp I would be interested to know what you think about the sky, earth, etc.
How do you explain how they are made?

wed8pril · 20/06/2021 13:27

@lightand

I pray that those who have been let done by others, particularly those who have been let down by those inside a church, find peace. And yes, God.

And to those who have not found God yet, that they too find God at some point in time.

No thanks, I'm fine without it.
AlexaShutUp · 20/06/2021 13:33

[quote lightand]@AlexaShutUp I would be interested to know what you think about the sky, earth, etc.
How do you explain how they are made?[/quote]
I don't know. I am sure that there are scientific explanations for all of it, some of which are known and some which are not yet known.

I'm content to accept that there are things that I don't understand. None of us have all the answers. I don't feel a need to fill in the gaps with a made-up story. Tbh, the made-up stories are not actually very convincing in any case.

Fanofcrisps · 20/06/2021 14:04

I was brought up Catholic. I don't think I ever believed. My mum lost her faith when 2 horrible things happened to my Dad. Their lives were changed forever. She said they've always tried to live a good life and be good people and my dad didn't deserve the pain he endured. My dad has lived his life being kind, bringing happiness to the lives of others and always helping other people.

Also, my friend's baby died at 10 months old. She prayed to God to save him and begged to be taken instead. It didn't need to happen.

VerbenaGirl · 20/06/2021 14:08

When my first husband left me. I can't even articulate why it had that effect, but it did. I do miss it sometimes, but overall my life is good. I grew up going to Sunday School every week and my Mum and both sets of grandparents were very religious. My Dad less so, but seemed to make his peace with religion when he was dying.

CimCardashian · 20/06/2021 14:13

In my teenage years,I’m not from a religious family.

I think the world would be a much better place if there was no religion whatsoever.

dementedma · 20/06/2021 14:17

Raised Catholic and raised the dcs like that until they were teens and I didnt have an answer to their questions other than parroting the Catechism. Havent bern to church in years and neither have they.
I do believe there is some sort of "force" though and am reading a lot about paganism at the moment which interests me

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