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Friend is insisting their large 3 bedroomed house is a 1 bedroom

91 replies

PandemicAtTheDisco · 21/03/2021 01:27

Can someone explain why they would do this? Is it a sign she is struggling with MH reasons or is there a rational explanation? There aren't any uninvited guests that want to stay there. Is it because of no planning permission? I tried to ask her and she said the 2nd bedroom was too small and the loft wasn't a proper bedroom. She got angry about it so I just shut up about it. She's now said something about someone having a huge place and how envious she is - but her house is so much bigger and everyone knows it.

She had a partner and 4 children live in the house at one time. She now has a widow's pension and money for her disabilities. She has a day bed downstairs but gets up the stairs to the first floor easily enough. A few people have suggested she move to a smaller house but she doesn't want to. That was a few years ago after her youngest child moved out.

The main bedroom and second bedroom are on the first floor. The second bedroom has been made smaller by wardrobes and cupboards the whole length of the room - this has been done in the last few years. There is a wardrobe at the end and you go thru the wardrobe to get to the loft conversion stairs. She has removed the bedroom door and says it is too small to be a bedroom - despite having a single bed in it.

The stairs to the loft have a fire door; they are narrower than the other stairs but seem well made. The only odd thing is the wardrobe Narnia door and taking the bedroom door off.

The loft conversion has a dormer window and spans the whole of the loft. There is a king size bed and a single bed in it. Many houses on the street have converted the space into two bedrooms with an ensuite.

OP posts:
DavidsSchitt · 21/03/2021 11:49

Yeah you missed it @littlepattilou

She owns it and is mortgage free.

The OP is jealous and is trying to make out that it's the other way round. She's the one doing the "bleating" I suspect.

KeyboardWorriers · 21/03/2021 11:58

I can't understand why she is even having to have these conversations op?

OldEvilOwl · 21/03/2021 12:00

You sound jealous OP. Seriously what does it matter? It's got nothing to do with you. Weird thread

Nocar · 21/03/2021 13:11

I don’t see what difference it makes, if she says otherwise ok, I would just accept what she says and just move the topic on. I couldn’t give it this much headspace, let alone start a thread about it.
No one on here can give you a definitive answer, it’s just speculation and honestly why does it matter to you ?

DoItAnyway · 21/03/2021 14:05

This thread is awash with envy, if not the greenest of jealousy.
The lady can call her house anything from a rabbit hutch to Buckingham palace if she likes. It makes zero difference to your own life. Leave the poor woman alone and try to occupy yourself with something kinder/more constructive. Do not be that bane of life, busybody, mountains out of molehills, gossipy person. Very baffling and hurtful, don’t be that person.

Itsallhere · 21/03/2021 14:59

So it’s a 2 bedroom house with a loft conversion. How is that a huge house op?

Redsquirrel5 · 21/03/2021 15:59

BreatheAndFocus I think she may have done it when she heard about the one bedroom news where some people had to either pay a bedroom tax or move. I know here that some people living in three bedroom council house and supported their single parent children by taking one or more child several days a week were very worried about it.
If someone went to inspect the house they would see a wardrobe and not know there was a room beyond. I think it may well be tied up with that and insisting to others that she lives in a one bedroom house is for the same reason. The fear of paying more bedroom tax or having to move when she doesn’t want to and a lack of understanding that it was really introduced to try and release some council / social housing for families because they were short of family housing.

OP If you are good friends with her ask if she has any worries about the house. Perhaps her children want her to sell and release some money to them to help them. Or they may be worrying about her health.

If you are not that good a friend that you can help her just change the subject.

DavidsSchitt · 21/03/2021 16:28

You don't pay bedroom tax when you own your own home @Redsquirrel5

PandemicAtTheDisco · 21/03/2021 16:41

The fact that it bothers me so much is my problem. Changing the conversation topic is what I should be doing. I think something underlies her comments but she reacts badly and gets angry when I try to ask so the conversation always gets stuck.

OP posts:
titchy · 21/03/2021 17:14

@PandemicAtTheDisco

The fact that it bothers me so much is my problem. Changing the conversation topic is what I should be doing. I think something underlies her comments but she reacts badly and gets angry when I try to ask so the conversation always gets stuck.
She's probably annoyed that 'everyone' insists her rather small 2 bedroom house is a large three-bedder. Hmm
DavidsSchitt · 21/03/2021 17:28

"she reacts badly and gets angry when I try to ask so the conversation always gets stuck."

What is it that you're repeatedly asking her exactly?

Your jealousy is obvious here and we don't even know you! It'll be obvious to her

Umbivalent · 21/03/2021 19:33

@Itsallhere

So it’s a 2 bedroom house with a loft conversion. How is that a huge house op?
The loft extension is not legal, and cannot be classed as a habitable room. And the other room has the loft opening off it, so is no longer a bedroom.
Umbivalent · 21/03/2021 19:34

@PandemicAtTheDisco

The fact that it bothers me so much is my problem. Changing the conversation topic is what I should be doing. I think something underlies her comments but she reacts badly and gets angry when I try to ask so the conversation always gets stuck.
Yes I would get angry too if a "friend" kept telling me she knew better than I did about my own house!
VenusTiger · 21/03/2021 19:59

Wow, what a weird thread and none issue!
Poor woman doesn't want to be put on a pedastal, that's simply all it is. Stop badgering her about HER home FGS.
Took till page 4 for pps to realise, it's the OP bringing it up all the time not the 'friend'. Why do you think she has MH issues??
Leave her alone you bully.

Redsquirrel5 · 21/03/2021 22:38

DavidsSchitt
I know that but this lady may not. The OP says that the lady may be struggling with mental health issues and I wonder if she is showing signs of dementia or just confusion. A bit like people hearing parts of news about Coronavirus and just grasping some of it adding to confusion, conspirusy theories etc.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 21/03/2021 23:11

I'm another one who is wondering why you care so much? This is a total non issue.

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