Shall I split DDs inheritance of baby 2 comes along?

[AliceTheCamelHasFiveHumps]

DD is about to inherit £10,000 from my Dad.

All grandchildren were left the same amount.

We are trying for a second child. It's IVF and we have only one chance. If second child does come along. Do you think I should split DDs inheritance with her?

@bastaebasta

This thread is really confusing.

There was no will, so the three siblings (OP, her DBro and DSis) are legally getting all of the money. The plan is for the three siblings to give £10,000 to each of the living 5 grandkids, of which 1 is OP's DD. So, her DBro and DSis have 4 children between them.

Is that right?

There are the following options:

1. Split the £10,000 intended for the OP's DD between the OP's DD and the OP's potential future child. Legally fine, because the gift of £10,000 came from the OP and her siblings (well, TBH, it came from the OP, because she has fewer children than at least one of her siblings). I think is is the option the OP was primarily considering?

2. Reserve another £10,000 for the OP's future child. This works if there is enough money to do so (I think there is?) and it means all three siblings are getting the same amount for their family, assuming the OP's DBo and DSis have 2 children each. Otherwise, someone is getting £40,000 or £60,000 for their offspring, someone is getting £20,000 (the OP) and someone is getting £nil or £10,000. I can't figure out what the situation is?

3. Reserve £10k out of the OP's share for a potential future DD. Only an option if the OP is set to receive at least £10k personally after giving after the cash to the grandkids. Is there enough money for this?

4. Do nothing, all the grandkids get £10,000 each and the rest is shared between the OP, her DBo and DSis. Possible future child gets £nil.

5. As with 4), but the OP attempts to save up £10,000 for the potential future child by the time the child is 18. I think this is an option that has been mentioned a few times but the OP has not acknowledged.

Have I got this right?

The estate is £50,000 (give or take)

There's no will. Yes, this is unfortunate, but it can't be undone. Dad tripped and fell, punctured his lung and died the next day. Nobody expected it. He was 65 and in good health otherwise. But, here we are.

As such, legally, Me, DBro and DSis are due to inherit £16,666 each.

DBro has 2 kids.
DSis has 2 kids
I have 1 kid.

Dad verbally told us a couple of years ago that he wanted his money to go to Grandkids.

We have all agreed that each living grandchild receives £10000.

DBro and DSis will give each of their children half of the £16666 they have legally inherited.

I will put £1666 into each of niece and nephew account, so they will each have £10,000 total.

My remaining £10000 will be moved in to DDs account.

I realise the wording in my OP was wrong. I have explained and apologised for that.

I will not hold onto the £16,666 indefinitely "just in case". Because I don't want to go back on our agreement because it's not right todo that imo. I am not at all concerned/bothered/upset that if I had a second child and I split the £10k that my children "only" got £5000 each. They will have the advantage of 17+ years of additional investment, that the older cousins won't.

If Dad hadn't made his intentions clear, the money would have gone to the RNLI (his preferred charity) And I wouldn't even be wondering about it. Nobody in the family would have questioned this. The "remainder" (I think about £300) will be going to the RNLI in fact.

My only question was/is should I split the £10,000 between my DD and a potential sibling and give them £5k each. And if we aren't lucky enough to have the second child, DD will keep all of £10,000.

Well you were stupid and shortsighted to agree that.

Do whatever the fuck you like with YOUR £10k.

I would personally split the £10000 should you have another child between your daughter and the new baby/babies. 100% I wouldn’t even have to think about it.
Do what feels right for your family.
Please don’t stress over it too much. IVF is stressful enough without adding to it. Good luck!

@Hallyup5

The inheritance is yours, not your daughter's. If you want to give away £6k to your nieces and nephews then do so. Put £5k in your daughter's account. Save £5k in you account. If another child happens to come along, you've got the £5k to give them. If not, give it to your daughter. I'd prefer my children to get an equal share of MY inheritance.

That’s a point. If you were to die now, before the money had been given over to the Gcs, it would actually belong to your dh if you’re married, no if not, to your DD.

Another point- you say you’ve only got 1 more go at IVF. Your 1/3 of the inheritance would go. Long way to having another couple of attempts if this one fails. How would you feel if your nieces and nephews choose to piss their gift up the wall?

I mean, why wouldn't you split it between your two (or three, or four) children?

The GC are benefiting. That's what you all want. Why would YOU choose to create a situation in which one (or 2, or 3) GCs do not benefit?

@TwoHundredThousandTimes

This is not complicated. The OP is making unneccessary drama. for several posts just why??

No will. 3 adult children. Inherit equally.

what the adult children do with their share is up to them.

The End.

except... We have all agreed to give the money equally to the grandkids AS DAD WANTED.

Dad wanted the kids to have the money. So they're having it. End of discussion.

Just because you'd ignore your dad's wishes and/or backtrack as soon as the money came through, doesn't mean I will. If you did that, I'd think you were a greedy selfish arsehole.

All I wanted to know was, should I split DDs money between her and a future sibling.

You have so much time before your child reaches 18.
I think also if your hand over £6,666 of your inheritance then you can afford to save the extra money.
So when your eldest child reaches 18, you can take the 10k out and she will get the money her granddad wanted her to have if there are no other babies, you can either hand her the extra savings or you use the money for yourself, if you do have more children, you keep saving till each gains 10k, and you tell them how Granddad started the fund and you topped it up.

@Soontobe60 the reason for only 1 more attempt is nothing to do with money. It's my age and the fact I am unwilling to go through egg collection process again that is the limiting factor.

We have one frozen embryo left.

Your dad specified GCs living at the time of his death ONLY, did he?

Oh, no, he did not.

I am sat here so wishing this problem on you OP.
May you have more children and actually have to decide how to split the cash.
If you gave a toddler 10k do you think it would go on sweets or toys?. X

Yes you should op.
And also save what you can so perhaps they can each get more.
Your dad would no doubt have wanted all grandchildren to benefit no matter when born as this wasn’t a named beneficiary situation but rather his wish that gc benefit.
This will include any further children you have.
Good luck and condolences also. You’ve been through a lot. I don’t think you should give this another thought. It’s very simple.

@lottiegarbanzo

Your dad specified GCs living at the time of his death ONLY, did he?

Oh, no, he did not.

I'm not sure what you're trying to say

You sound so lovely as do your siblings.

And I’m so sorry for your loss- happening so soon after your baby was born must have been incredibly difficult.
Your Dad would be very proud of you all for fulfilling his wishes without any drama or bickering- plenty of people could learn from your approach.

I don’t think it would be unreasonable to split it if you have another child. If you invest it until DD is 18 then she will get not far off the 10 anyway even if it’s split. I’m sure she would want her sibling to benefit as well.

Really hope IVF works out for you.

There are some very unkind people on this thread.

@lottiegarbanzo

Well you were stupid and shortsighted to agree that.

Do whatever the fuck you like with YOUR £10k.

I'm stupid for following my dad's wishes

Thanks for that...

I’m confused by all the replies here. I completely understand why the five way split is the only appropriate option. It would be crazy to ask the other grandchildren to split their money with another potential child.

In terms of DD and a possible sibling (fingers crossed for you!) I would think about what my dad would have wanted and I’d do that. It was his money, he wanted it to go to his grandchildren. Would he rather split it or one to have inheritance and the other not?

Personally, I would split it.

Op I just wanted to say your family sounds like my family we would absolutely follow his wishes and give to the grandkids, also we would be insisting your dd got a share. We are family so why wouldn’t we. If it was me personally I would put 5k in dd’s account and save the other 5k untill you know if you are having another. Xx p.s good luck with the ivf and so sorry to hear about your dad it sounds like he raised 3 kind and considerate children

First, cancel the cheque. Jk.
That you and your siblings are unanimous in this situation is worth much more than the few thousands more you could have had.
Split it between your kids.

If your dad had willed it to the gcs, it would only ever be those alive at the time of his death. That is the 5 children. You’ve decided as a family to split it this way. Your choice.

Others can disagree with you. Personally if I had the choice, I would insist on 1/3, 1/3, 1/3 and keep the money in a pot for your future child in case you have one. If you don’t, you could then give it to the 5 dcs at a later date.

As for the 10k, yes, I would split it. You’re already not taking your fair share (as your dad died in testate) for your family.

Sorry for your loss OP.
Think it’s great you and your siblings are in agreement and that your children all have a great start.
Personally. I would put your 10k in a savings account, see if your ivf is successful if it is split between 2 and if financially possible save up both 5ks as much as poss over the years so that they have about the same when both reach 18-21. I doubt any child would feel cheated and be grateful they have a nice nest egg and very generous thoughtful family.
I’m due a frozen embryo transfer in the coming weeks, for hopefully a 2nd baby, I wish you all the good things and hope it works out for you. It’s a gruelling and exhausting In so very many ways, everything crossed for you x

Think you’re getting a hard time here OP. It’s lovely that you and your siblings are honouring your dads wishes.

If I was you I would split the 10k for your DD in half and invest half in a bank account for your DD and another in an ISA for your future child. If you never have another baby you can top up your DDs account. Over the years the money will grow, and you can add to it, and they will both have a nice sum when they are 18, just like their cousins are now getting.

This way you Dads going to be helping them in the future, even though he never knew them he is going to give them a great gift.

Really? Ok then, I'll spell it out for you:

Did you father specify that he wished his assets to be shared ONLY between those grandchildren alive at the time of his death? Yes, or no?

You see, 'his grandchildren' and 'only those grandchildren alive at the time of his death' are (potentially) not the same thing.

You have said that you and your siblings are very sure that your dad wished his assets to be shared out equally among his grandchildren and that the three of you are committed to following these wishes.

In which case, UNLESS he explicitly stated that he wished only those GCs alive at the time of death to benefit (did he?), then it seems quite clear that the three of you are duty bound to devise a system whereby every GC of your father benefits equally.

Let me put it another way for you. It is very unfortunate that your dad died so young. By choosing to act in haste, you and your siblings would be choosing to compound that misfortune, by denying the possibility that your father's wishes might be executed in full. That is, his assets shred equally between ALL grandchildren.

Now, what if he had lived to 85? He'd have had the opportunity to know of the existence of all possible grandchildren. He'd also have had the opportunity to anticipate his own inevitable demise and make a will. What do you think that will would have said?

Would you choose to ignore the terms of that will? Why? Yet that is what you seems so determined to do.

I don't really understand why you've posted. What you're saying is 'I have made a decision and I'm sticking to it and I don't care what anyone else thinks, even though my decision has a reasonable probability of disadvantaging my DC relative to their cousins. I know I can do what I like with the money available to my DCs, because I know that actually, it's my money to allocate. So I'm going to do that'. Ok then.

A necessary footnote being that of course, at 65 and with an estate worth £50k, your dad had had plenty of opportunity to make a will and he should have done so. That he chose not to, knowing the consequence was that he would die intestate and his assets be split equally between his three adult children, implies that he was quite comfortable with that choice.

@lottiegarbanzo

I haven't made up my mind about the ACTUAL QUESTION I was asking .. if that £10k should be split.

other people were saying about how I should keep my 1/3rd and go back on the agreement. So yes, I had decided that I would not go back on the verbal agreement... but that wasn't my question nor a decision I needed to ponder.

@lottiegarbanzo

A necessary footnote being that of course, at 65 and with an estate worth £50k, your dad had had plenty of opportunity to make a will and he should have done so. That he chose not to, knowing the consequence was that he would die intestate and his assets be split equally between his three adult children, implies that he was quite comfortable with that choice.

Well, it's a good job your Dad is perfect and never made a mistake ever...