Has anybody had a positive birthing experience after a traumatic one?

[HealingMum]

A couple of years ago I had a horrific birth experience. A botched induction via pessary introduced a nasty infection which lead to a heavy hemmorage and me developing sepsis. I needed blood transfusions and spent two weeks in HDU. I also needed alot of perennial stitches and have a mild/moderate (but luckily asymptomatic) prolapse as a result of it. I had PTSD to boot.

I'm now pregnant again and crapping myself about something going wrong again, but I want to continue with the pregnancy and hope for the best.

Has anybody else had a traumatic birth and then gone on to have a positive one with subsequent children?

Yes.

I had a lot of counselling after my first birth and still struggle with PTSD. I waited a long time before trying again because I was so scared. I did some hypnobirthing classes with someone who specialises in birth trauma. My 2nd birth was also problematic, but thanks to the therapy and hypnobirthing I was able to deal with it in a much different way and it was ok.

I still can't go anywhere near the maternity part of the hospital, but hopefully that is something I can deal with in time.

My first birth was traumatic and ended up in an episiotomy and massive blood loss. I cried about it a lot and struggled massively to come to terms with it. I really wanted another baby and waited over three years to try again and decided that once I was pregnant I’d have no choice but to give birth! I was terrified though and had an appointment with the head midwife to go through things and discuss my options which helped massively. My second ds was born last year and his birth was amazing and completely the opposite of my first birth. So much so that if we weren’t done with our two ds I would love to experience it again

Thank you for the replies, I'm sorry you've both been through traumatic births. It stays with you doesn't it.

I had EMDR therapy after my BT baby and my therapist felt I had recovered after a few months of sessions, but the fear never truly goes away.

I'm only 8 weeks at the moment so I have plenty of time to consider my options when it comes to birthing but I'm almost certain I would like an elective cs this time so I feel more in control.

I couldn't reccomend EMDR more for those still suffering with PTSD btw.

Yup, albeit 30 years ago. First was grim and with what I know now I’d have raised a stink afterwards. Had home birth second time around and it was brilliant.

I had a fairly long and traumatic birth with my first. 30 hours resulting in an episiotomy and forceps, left me with a prolapse.
Gave birth to my second last year and had an elective section, was a very positive experience and a quicker recovery than first time around.

I had a horrendous experience with being induced, fontouse? (Not sure how you spell it!), stitches etc. not as bad as yours but with a bad outcome.

I had my next two children by planned section. Yes there's recovery time, but it was ok.

I'd ask about this option op. It did take a lot of the worry away during the pregnancy.

DS1 got stuck, I had a rotational 3c tear, labial tearing and lost a lot of blood. Had to have surgical repair done and follow-up surgery.

I was really tempted by a CS with DS (just under three years later) but decided against it very late on. Following a much shorter labour, DS2 was born with only a minor tear abs no other complications. This was despite being back-to-back, arm first and weighing 9lb8oz. I was up in feet very quickly, home after six hours and never looked back.

Good luck.

I had a an awful first pregnancy birth 25 years ago

PE at 32 weeks then spent 7 weeks in hospital until they decided to induce.
BP etc went sky high so started inducing monday morning , moneday afternoon and tuesday morning, went into labour tuesday night. Had failed ventuese ended up in theatre for a CS if the forceps failed. They didnt thankfully. DS had a black eye and i had 15 stitches, then after 2 days a giant blood clot and a needed iron tablets

Exactly 2 years later went into labour at 37 weeks and dd was born 4 hours later, no pain relief at all, was a really good birth.

Yes I had a 4.5 day long induction ending in full spinal, ventouse and episiotomy. Totally not listened to, nothing I wanted happened like delayed cord clamping etc. The midwives having a bet on who would deliver first, either me or the woman in another room. Discussed right in front of me. It was fairly horrific for me and I was scared of giving birth again.

DD2’s Labour couldn’t have been different. 5hrs from waters going to her being born, 7 minutes from 3cm dilated to 10cm and 5 mins later she was here. No pain relief needed. It totally healed some old wounds from DD1’s birth. She was born so quickly my DH missed it, I did it all alone apart from the last 10 mins

What I did differently was in prep I did more mindful, positive birthing exercises. I refused to be monitored strapped to a bed, I downright refused to be induced if needed. Overall I was much stronger but you’ll also find they listen to women more who have already had children than first time mums.

Yup - first birth was seriously grim. I thought the baby was dead, as obstetrician was yanking her out with his feet on the end of the bed for counter-traction. She survived.

Next 2 babes just popped out with no fuss.

Also forgot to say ds was 10lb 2oz which people are horrified when I tell them I pushed him out but he was a million times easier than baby no. One who was only 8lbs in comparison!

First birth was pretty harrowing. Long induction by pessary that took ages to work, miserable time in hospital with horrible staff, I failed to progress and baby was eventually in distress and had a crash section, haemorrhaged/blood transfusion, was very unwell for a while afterwards, dreadful postnatal care and ended up with an infection and PND.

I had a planned c-section with DC2 and it was like day compared to night. So serene and calm, no pain, was on cloud nine for months afterwards.

Thank you all for sharing your experiences, they've given me hope.

After what I went through with DD I swore blind that I'd never have another incase it happened again. Like PP, I'm practising alot of mindfulness and trying to relax as best I can about it.

I have my first MW appointment on Monday albeit over the telephone, I'm going to talk through my concerns then.

I've also transferred my care from the hospital I had my trauma in, to another local-ish hospital. It's a bit further away and not as convenient but there's no way I could go back into the previous hospital again. It would be too triggering.

Gosh op that sounds horrific!

I had an episiotomy followed by a haemorrhage and lots of stitches. No where near as traumatic as yours but I'm requesting a c section this time. I just can't cope with giving birth again!

Make sure you voice your concerns and they don't fob you off.

Me. The birth of dc1 was horrific for me.

I needed counselling before I could even bring myself to try for dc2.

I also did hypnotherapy (regression therapy) and hypnobirthing (can't recommend enough).

Dc2 birth was amazing. It was quick (less than 4 hours), drug free and just a really good experience.

Yes. Awful labour and birth first time, but second - well I hardly knew I was in labour and when I realised I was and got up to the hospital, baby practically flew out!

Had another after that and while it wasn't quite as quick it was definitely uncomplicated and I recovered well afterwards.

My first was so bad. I had a botched cannula in My hand, my epidural went wrong the first time, I was falling unconscious constantly and was just left to it. I struggled with severe anxiety for years!

I had my second, who was a lot bigger a year ago and even though the labor was obviously agonizing, he just slid out and I got a couple of stitches and I was fine..

It's so different every time. Get lots of support and talk it through with your doctor/nurse as much as possible.

Thanks for this thread. I had a bad first first labour too and am now in the early weeks of a new pregnancy. Like you @HealingMum I’m going to change hospitals. But it’s good to read that people had much better experiences second time round.

My first was a fucking nightmare on multiple levels but I didn't really know anything different so I geared myself up for more of the same the second time around. But it was brilliant! I actually enjoyed it. Opposite scenario.

Yes, my first birth experience was horrific and both DS1 and I came very close to not surviving it, I was left with some serious internal scarring and adhesions & was fairly traumatised.

DS2’s birth (who was a surprise as I wasn’t keen on repeating the experience!) was a planned c-section & it was amazing, pain free & just lovely and calm, I’m so glad I had that experience as it really helped overcome the first one. Also, despite the way DS1 arrived I am thankful that we were lucky enough to survive & to have another baby.

Are they likely to recommend a c-section so that your prolapse doesn’t worsen? It may be worth discussing even if they don’t (obviously it is major surgery and shouldn’t be a choice that is made without justification etc - the recovery shouldn’t be underestimated, but the experience itself for me was so much less traumatic and less painful than the long labour & subsequent crash section I’d had previously).

Just to add, I also changed hospitals for no.2 as couldn’t bear the memories of my first birth haunting me. That really helped. I also did a lot of hypnobirthing stuff - listening to CDs at night etc. - and even with a c-section that really helped me feel calm and present and less fearful .

I'm so sorry for what you all went through, it makes for sobering reading.

I believe I still have some residual PTSD despite scoring below the scoring chart the therapist used, and a trigger for me is infection. If I get a cut anywhere the first thing that comes to mind is sepsis, so I can imagine myself being quite hypervigilent after a section because of the wound.

That being said I read that you're often giving antibiotics before a cs, was that the case for all of you here who've had one? That would provide peace of mind for sure.

Sorry you had such an awful first birth. My first birth was awful to and after and IVF-ICSI pregnancy where I had bled 10 times and been tested for ovarian cancer (thankfully clear). It started with a failed induction with pessary and 3 days later gave birth after no sleep whole time and emergency doctors being called out after epidural went wrong.

Second one was a lot easier and was a waterbirth. I had to get to 5cms by myself but that went relatively quickly and DH was there. Then transferred to water and maybe took a couple of hours and DS appeared. Same hospital though it was worth making hospital when you go in aware of history as the epidural on my first was done when I was 9cm and they hadn't realised and this time when I said I was in lots of pain the lady checked and said you are almost there and push and he came out very quickly. You could ask about antibiotics - I'ld be tempted to take some given history.

I honestly did. First birth was an awful 3 day instrumental job with hemorrhage. My second was a fast, water birth. Couldn’t have been any more different. I hadn’t realised how far in labour I was with my second until I hit transition and then had to leg it to the hospital. I even managed to read a story to my toddler during contractions. It still hurt but was controllable and generally came in waves. The level of pain with my first with the drip was totally different and I never had the break in the pain.

I had a horrible first birth, won't give gory details but a very long labour, kidney failure for me, epidural problems and Baby distressed resulting in an emergency c section. Even my hippy pro-natural birthing retired midwife mum said afterwards it was a shocker. Looking back I was left very traumatised.
Elective c section for number 2 and I can honestly say it was very healing. I asked for a gentle caesarean as it helped me to feel involved in the process rather more than it being something that was done to me. I healed well. DH had also been scared of me trying again for a natural delivery (although knew better than to try and influence my decision!) And he found the calmness of the second birth a really positive experience as the first had been so upsetting for him.