Anyone noticed family/friends more demanding this Easter?

[Pissedoffcat]

I've been inundated with hints or requests for Easter.
I always do the children. And certain adults.

But it's all adults putting in requests now, too.

Lockdown Easter fever?

Normally, I'd not think too much about it. But we've been affected income wise and I get impression no one thinks about that, because I've never discussed it.

Our business, we will deal with it, is my approach.

But , suddenly, influx of hints, requests or just downright orders!

@Pissedoffcat

How bizarre! We are scaling back this year. Partly for financial reasons, health reasons and also on account of the ridiculous amount of packaging and hyped cost of Easter chocolate!

If anything, this last year has reinforced mine, and many of my friends' and family's commitment to avoiding unnecessary purchases and to 'make, do and mend' to better protect the environment.

We have always done this, but this year and invited further consideration of what more we can do.

Good luck managing those expectations! xxk

Tell them you’ll light a candle in church for them. Remind them of the meaning of Easter and hope they all reflect on the sacrifices we’ve all made this past year and how it has saved so many people - just as Jesus sacrificed his life 2,000 years ago. Lay the religious angle on thick and they’ll all go away!!

Don't do it; no explanation needed.

@Pissedoffcat

Oops. Posted too early.

My friend is one of the awkward ones I've referred to.
She's let me know she's baking me some Easter cookies and will drop off at the same time as 'collection'. Links sent for her, husband and 2 children.

Is this a new thing? Do you do this every year? If not, just reply to your friend with a ?

Definitely just you !! I find the thought of getting adults Easter eggs just random, if I fancy an Easter egg I just buy one when doing my shop (and eat it on the sly hiding it from the kids)

[quote Pissedoffcat]**@NameChangedForThisFeb21 -
You may have a good point with your analysis of the situation. Seems to make a little more sense than anything else so far.

I'm reluctant to hurt people's feelings and I hate being embarrassed by expectations.

I made extra effort this Christmas for everyone, but it didn't cross my mind that Easter would also be required, certainly not for adults.

Some 'pulling on the heart strings' has also been involved and I'm a sucker for that. [/quote]
They don’t give a shit about YOUR feelings!

Literally if you can’t confront, ignore them all, ignore the requests, ignore the baker, all of them.

Then THEY will have to come back to you and all you do is say “oh I thought you were joking!” And laugh. A lot.

I'd reply to each request with
"Have I missed something?? Confused!"

I think you’re setting a precedent if you accede to requests, so even if there are hurt feelings, I fear you need to be adamant and message everyone saying ‘Sorry, not going to start this as haven’t done Easter gifts before now’. It’s very bizarre to have people tell you what they or their partner want. I’d find that stunningly rude, particularly if it’s a new thing. Have they zero awareness that you have lost money this year?

I've only ever bought an Easter Egg for my own child. Never anyone else's (family included there) and certainly never an adult. Has never occurred to me or been expected of me to do otherwise.

@RollWithThePunches

Tell them you’ll light a candle in church for them. Remind them of the meaning of Easter and hope they all reflect on the sacrifices we’ve all made this past year and how it has saved so many people - just as Jesus sacrificed his life 2,000 years ago. Lay the religious angle on thick and they’ll all go away!!

Yes, do this! Haha, brilliant.

And you’d be saving them the calories from cheap chocolate too.

I think I’d send messages to every single one of them simply saying:
We’re keeping Easter very simple and will only be buying chocolate for our own children.
Thanks for your thoughts but we can’t possibly accept Easter treats from anyone as we won’t be reciprocating. Hope you have a lovely Easter.

I don’t understand why people don’t just tell CF’s that they’re being rude. Why can’t you ask wtf they’re on about if you are not in the habit of supplying their family with chocolate treats? Also, if someone’s dropping around cookies, surely expecting a whole family’s worth of Easter treats is thoroughly disproportionate? Just say no! Give something YOU feel is of equal value. You really are NOT obliged to provide for her whole family.

Me neither @justilou1! But then that’s probably why I don’t get any CFers trying it on with me...they know they wouldn’t get anywhere!

Thanks to everyone for their input! I thought I was totally out of loop for a while.

I've left it too long for baker friend to address her approach, tbh. I should have reacted straight away. So, I m likely to have to take that one on the chin but specify one off covid year special.
The pulling on my heart strings is not related to chocolate itself- bad phrase to use. But related to how good it would make her feel after a crap few months. Again, I'll take that one this year.

The others, I've queried directly.
Got a range of replies but , in the main, yes, siblings wanting to be cheered up by receiving chocolate presents from their sister.

Incredible!!

Just don't give in to manipulation/guilt tripping. You'll only be back on here every year as your list of people to buy for increases and you'll be wondering how you got to that stage. A simple "are you actually asking me to buy you an Easter egg??" might shut things down. As for your friend you are setting a precedent for future years if you acquiesce. I would say "Lets not set a precedent for Easter gifts, Christmas is bad enough! See you for coffee/lunch soon 😋"

Honestly, this is entirely in your hands.

As the family don't get together as a group , it's very odd that out of the blue they're all sending requests for Easter plus for their spouses and children, together with friends of yours doing the same thing.

All sounds a bit OTT.

Unless baker friend is coming tomorrow it isn't too late to put her off

I totally agree it's OTT!
I'm trying not to seethe too much.
If I can't give it with good grace , then I should not be giving it at all.

But there's been no suggestion of reciprocation.
Not that I want anything, that's not the point.
It's the annoyance they think they can put orders in because they need cheering up. And I don't?

@justilou1

I don’t understand why people don’t just tell CF’s that they’re being rude. Why can’t you ask wtf they’re on about if you are not in the habit of supplying their family with chocolate treats? Also, if someone’s dropping around cookies, surely expecting a whole family’s worth of Easter treats is thoroughly disproportionate? Just say no! Give something YOU feel is of equal value. You really are NOT obliged to provide for her whole family.

I agree. I can't believe the cheek of your friends and family, the biscuit baker putting in a request for the whole family, in return for homemade biscuits which probably costs £2-3 tops, is beyond bonkers. Do these requesters think you've come into money perhaps OP?

If you must do something, just send a token gesture, surely they're not CF's enough to challenge you on not buying everyone their exact requirements?

Honestly I’d take this as a good opportunity to reset your relationships - obviously you’re in the maternal/provider slot in these peoples minds, they think you’ll be happy to buy them chocolate to cheer them up, without thinking at all that you might need cheering up yourself! I’d probably reply nicely pointing out that it’s been a tough year all round, you also need cheering up, and schlepping around posting eggs to other people is not the way to do that!

But there's been no suggestion of reciprocation.
Not that I want anything, that's not the point.
It's the annoyance they think they can put orders in because they need cheering up. And I don't?

Good grief, it's worse than I initially thought!

Don't get caught up in this op. You are not the Easter Bunny. Hopefully now you have contacted your siblings/friends, they will not be expecting anything.
Baker friend contact asap. I have been thinking about your offer. I would rather we just met for a girls coffee & catch up when restrictions lift, so please don't go to the bother of baking for me. As usual I am not buying Easter gifts for anyone other than my own dc. Look forward to a catch up soon!
Be firm. No one worried about hurting your feeling or sparing you from cost and inconvenience so I would be having no truck with this cheeky chocolate circus.

Baker friend contact asap. I have been thinking about your offer. I would rather we just met for a girls coffee & catch up when restrictions lift, so please don't go to the bother of baking for me.

Honestly this! Don’t be such a wet fart!

"@Ahbahbahbah*
I am so with you on this!
I'm expected to do the cheering up etc. But no one actually thinks that I may need some cheering up too. Or, at the very least, no additional pressure from them!

I'll get over it.
They will get something, but told not quite as they ordered due to finances, but still sent with love and, hopefully, still effing cheery.

Maybe I should change name to total wet fart cat? 🤔😂