Do you think I'm a narcissist?

[wegetitalmosteverynight]

I started dating a woman a 13 months ago.
I was happy and everything was going well.
Then she changed her behaviour towards me and started doing things to make me jealous.
Telling me about other women and how people at her work fancied her and she gave one woman her number.
She would constantly say things to me then deny she said them.

She would mess with my head and claim she just wanted "friendship" then sleep with me.
Then the day after sleep with another woman and boast about it to me.
She would tell me how attractive people thought she was,and how I was so lucky.

I rang her one day crying and asked her to just not tell me as it was too painful to here who she slept with.
She still continued.
She told me she wanted a serious relationship and asked if I knew anyone single?

I lost my temper and sent her a text and told her how her behaviour made me feel.
She replied telling me "not to start again"
Anytime I tried telling her how I felt she would say I was a "psycho"
I did Everything to make her happy.
I never said anything incase it upset her.
I went out of my way to do nice things for her.

I'm not btw.

Anyway it came to a head and she said I meant nothing to her,and she thought I was a narcissist and she recognised the traits.
I'm terrified this has all been me and I'm the narcissist.
I don't think I am tho,but why would she say I was a narcissist?

"I'm embarrassed about your behaviour,your making a fool of yourself.
I am far too wise to be sucked into your narcissistic circle.
You have sent me awful texts now for months and me being a nice person just accepted it."

That's what she said.
The nasty texts didn't happen btw.
Apart from when she told me who she slept with and I would reply
"Oh lovely,instead of texting me,go and crack on with her"
Or me saying "leave me alone,it hurts too much to know about what your up too"

She's gaslighting you. It's time to end the relationship and get your life and self esteem back

She is projecting op.
It's her, not you.

She's a narcissist and projection is one of the major tools they employ against their victims. It has pretty devastating effects.

You can quite clearly see she’s abusive, you don’t need anyone to tell you that. You know yourself you’re not narcissistic. Just walk away from her, why would you give someone that treated you so badly any power over you?

Ooo this is the oldest trick in the narcissist book! They all do this! You can always tell what nasty little things are in their mind because that's what they accuse you of and accusing you of being insane/having something wrong with you etc right down to specifics is absolutely textbook.

Leave quietly. Block her. And for gods sake talk to people about this before she does. They are very damaging snd will try to destroy your reputation. Don't let that happen!

I've been doing a lot of looking online and it does seem like she is a narcissist but I wasn't too keen on throwing a label around just incase.

The things she does matches perfectly.
She also tells lies too.
The few months of her being lovely I read are textbook too.

Yes snd I can categorically tell you the only answer is to run. And to ensure that you have proof as people believe narcissists. And they will tell everyone lies about you. So when talking about it talk about specific events - it's more credible. They really fuck with your head though. I still have people who believe his shit and it's scarred me more than I realise. Don't hang around. Be clear, polite, snd block.

Oh fgs block her and move on. You will never win an argument or get her to see your pov. Sounds exhausting tbh.

@Mintychocolate luckily I keep all my texts etc.
She tried to say I was harassing her with texts and I was always messaging her...I have thousands of texts from her messaging me.

She has screenshots of conversations we had but deleted her messages to make it look like I was having a convo with myself.

She told me she is the innocent party in all of this.
I don't know if she actually believes what she is saying.

@wegetitalmosteverynight

I've been doing a lot of looking online and it does seem like she is a narcissist but I wasn't too keen on throwing a label around just incase.

The things she does matches perfectly.
She also tells lies too.
The few months of her being lovely I read are textbook too.

No need for labels - she is making you unhappy and gaslighting you.

Block all contact, don’t engage in any way with her and move on with your life.

She is insane. Just know that. Consider it a lucky escape and lesson well learned! Narcissists are usually more subtle though so this could be something like BPD/EUPD which if untreated can be very destructive indeed. Either way you're well out of it!!!'

A lot of people throw the word narcissist around without actually knowing what it means.

Nothing I your post suggests you were wrong. Her behaviour is awful. Don't doubt yourself.

I sat down and thought could I have done things differently with her but I honestly don't think I could of.
If I had been a bad person to her or treated her crap it would have been easier.
I don't understand her at all.
Not even worth trying either.

She's a nasty cow.

This is either a reverse or the woman you're involved with has no idea you were officially dating. As this isn't the type of things that goes on when you're dating someone. It sounds like she thought you were friends or loosely involved with one another. Very weird.
Anyway people with boundaries wouldn't live like this.

@goldielockdown2 that's the point.
When she started doing all the things that's when she said we were just friends.
She moved goal posts when she started getting attention from the other women.
One min we were together
Then we were friends
Etc etc

Did you ask her to stop speaking to you about other women since she'd ended the relationship?
Don't allow people to treat you like this. Block her so she can't keep jabbing at you.

@goldielockdown2 yeah I said don't tell me.
She still did.
Sometimes she would be more subtle with it,like adding a pic to her Facebook of a woman asleep in chair etc
Other times she would just tell me about it and tell me "don't get angry"
It was a massive head fuck
Or ask me if I knew anyone she could go on a date with.

When we were together.
She slept with someone and then ended it with me a few days later (so if I found out she could say,well we weren't together anyway )

Then a time she sent me a pic of her and a girl (who she made me jealous with ) smiling.

You sound really upset and confused @wegetitalmosteverynight,and rightly so.

As others have said,block this women and find some professional help to put yourself back together again. You deserve happiness

Firstly if you were actually a narcissist you would be unlikely to ask yourself the question. Self awareness is hardly a true narcissist strong point.

Secondly I agree she is gaslighting you (or possibly is not that smart and doesn't really understand what the word means )

Finally..Good lord run like hell. Why on earth are you allowing this rubbish in your life. There are 7.7 billion people in this world (give or take a couple of million) why on earth waste another second of your time on this one ?

It’s messed up and abusive behaviour. Just run! Do not look back and do not engage regardless of the provocation or temptation - any reaction is a supply to a person like this and they will goad you for all they are worth.