Do you think I'm a narcissist?

[wegetitalmosteverynight]

I started dating a woman a 13 months ago.
I was happy and everything was going well.
Then she changed her behaviour towards me and started doing things to make me jealous.
Telling me about other women and how people at her work fancied her and she gave one woman her number.
She would constantly say things to me then deny she said them.

She would mess with my head and claim she just wanted "friendship" then sleep with me.
Then the day after sleep with another woman and boast about it to me.
She would tell me how attractive people thought she was,and how I was so lucky.

I rang her one day crying and asked her to just not tell me as it was too painful to here who she slept with.
She still continued.
She told me she wanted a serious relationship and asked if I knew anyone single?

I lost my temper and sent her a text and told her how her behaviour made me feel.
She replied telling me "not to start again"
Anytime I tried telling her how I felt she would say I was a "psycho"
I did Everything to make her happy.
I never said anything incase it upset her.
I went out of my way to do nice things for her.

I'm not btw.

Anyway it came to a head and she said I meant nothing to her,and she thought I was a narcissist and she recognised the traits.
I'm terrified this has all been me and I'm the narcissist.
I don't think I am tho,but why would she say I was a narcissist?

You’re stronger than you imagine,you’ve recognised she has serious problems. Walk away,you deserve so much better,and you’ll find it.She will never find true happiness.

I really feel for you as I know how people can get under your skin. It's easy for MN to say block and move on, but in real life it's often not that easy. However for your own sanity and future happiness going non contact is the only way. She obviously has the charisma to draw people in and she gets a thrill from doing that. She's not a nice person and certainly not someone to waste your time on.

Thankyou it really helps with your kind words.
As she told me about her past and her abusive ex's (men and women) I really tried my best to show her that I was a nice decent person.
She turned me into a bad person (in her head) like them.

She pushed and pushed me till I snapped (just texts ) then used them texts to say I was abusive like her ex (I'm not )
There is clearly a pattern that she does to people.

If someone was constantly winding you up,showing you things for a reaction.
Making you feel small and like you weren't worth anything ..wouldn't normal people say what they were thinking.

My texts to her were never even nasty.
That's the thing I don't get.

I don't know how she can't see her behaviour is the abusing.

I've blocked her now on Facebook
Sounds stupid but that was hard.
I know she didn't block me on there to keep a channel open but I was driving myself mad keep looking at her page.
Think I looked 4 times yesterday!!

You are worth so much more than this! Walk away! Be free!

Thankyou :-)

Well done that’s a good step! There’s a good chance her ex’s weren’t abusive either but that’s how she paints people or even worse continually mentally abuses someone until the point where they snap and become physically abusive on one occasion and then she can paint them as the abuser and her the abused person

I think that's what happened.
She made a statement when we met "I make women crazy"
She was quite proud of it.
Believe it or not when we met I wasn't self conscious about myself,didn't worry about texts etc
Then after a few months ..
What did I do wrong,why does she prefer all of them,why is she ignoring me all of a sudden,why is she showing me pics of other women chasing after her.

She made me paranoid and my self esteem shattered.
Twisted it all to make me look crazy.

But youre not crazy - youve taken control and blocked her. Sounds incredibly sane to me!

@Mintychocolate

I am. And it comes from bitter experience! FYI they never stop. Ever. If there's any opportunity they can get to you they will. They bear grudges like you've never seem before.

And most of all they spin themselves and everyone else a fantastic victim story with themselves in the middle as the wounded hero. And they really believe it. There's no point in being compassionate or reasonable. If they are in your life you need to be quite ruthless yourself - which isn't easy. With them though you shoot to kill. Not wound. A wounded narc is a dangerous narc.

But I'm sure the ex will find a new victim soon! As long as you aren't in her social circle she will move on.

The victim part is so true. The narcissist in my life is apparently poor despite owning a huge house and luxury cars. I can’t possibly understand her suffering. I live in a tiny house that needs new everything and drive an 18 year old car!

After threatening me she accused ME of harassing her and said she was scared of me. She fabricated a whole incident that never actually happened.

They really aren’t human and once you know the signs running the opposite direction and cutting off all contact is the only option.

The tricky thing is they are very, very good at being initially charming. They can put this mask on and off when it suits.

@bluetongue so charming ! Honestly this one can charm anyone.
You wouldn't believe how nasty she can become.
She's like jekyl and Hyde
I can't believe I was fooled.

If you only checked her fb 4 times yesterday, you're going to be fine!

Just make sure you stay blocked, because people like this will often ramp up the attention if they think you've left their web.

Don't explain, don't check, don't send one last shot across the decks, NOTHING.

Look up YouTube cats, or dogs, or make up tutorials, organise wardrobes, do both at the same time, whilst eating nice food (less of the drinking though).

Think of her as really bad acne; you need all the distractions for a while, to stop yourself picking at the infection

I think she has a new lady in her life now.
I hope she gets out alive
I don't think she realises how her treatment affects people mentally.
Or doesn't care