Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

How much ‘me time’ do you get?

87 replies

Annoy · 17/03/2021 22:08

I’m mainly thinking of organised me time, such as for hobbies/sports/interests etc. Rather than an evening watching Netflix when the kids have gone to bed.

How much time in the week do have to do your thing?

I like a variety of outdoor sports, they’re my interests, but I’m trying to gauge whether the set up DH and I have is fair but want yours 1st so there’s no bias if that’s okay?! 😀

OP posts:

Sooverthis1 · 18/03/2021 09:46

I have three dcs from 4 to 9 , I work p/t, do all the housestuff, afterschool etc and my dh works full time. We are very 50/50 and really believe in giving each other some time. We had years of no sleep and one of our dcs has some behavioural issues so we have realised it's important to give each other some space. We spend loads of time with our dcs and do alot of activities together.
This was actually really hard for me at first as I've been brought up to think that once you have kids you put yourself last which in loads of ways we do but a couple of years ago I started to get very run down and had a bit of a health scare so we had to take a step back and think of ways to help each other. We also have no family support so we need to look out for each other. It is tricky though if your kids are very young as generally we are pretty exhausted in the evening so I don't have much mental or physical energy left. We run a few times a week each, also we use weekends to give each other some space, so one of us will go out with the kids for a walk/ playground /cycle and the other might work on a creative project, exercise , read or meet a friend for a coffee.
We spend loads of time together and our kids have never been to childcare outside of school or preschool so we really appreciate and love this time to ourselves just to chill and do a hobby etc. I really think weekends are a great time if you are a couple with kids to give each other some time and it doesn't mean you don't want to spend time together ot with your kids its just about a balance.

Pyewackect · 18/03/2021 09:49

Not much. I work in NHS critical care so it’s pretty much 60 hour weeks. My days off I catch up on sleep. Altho I do manage some “me time”

FatCatThinCat · 18/03/2021 09:53

Too much. I don't work and DS is in school. I have all the time in the world to do whatever I like. Unfortunately I'm disabled and don't have the energy or capacity to do anything with it.

Desmondo2021 · 18/03/2021 09:54

I'm.a shift worker with 3 adult children and a child at nursery 3 days a week so depending how my shifts fall I regularly have up to 3 days a week to do whatever I want. Outside of that time I can have as much time as I want as my husband is fab and I'm fortunate with lots of family support. I have an hour for an organised team sport a week, an hour most days for a run or strength session, showing and socialising trips as and when they are arranged and a regular hour in a hot bath! I'm very fortunate I know. I am an epic wife and mum in return too tho 🤣

Sooverthis1 · 18/03/2021 09:58

Tbh I don't really understand understand how ppl can't even have a bath, this is absolutely not a goady comment. I had 3 dcs close in age and two who didn't sleep for years, my dh was away a lot of work etc and I've never had any help from family etc. Unless they never sleep (and I know some kids don't, I've been there), I could still have a long soak at the end of the day whatever ages my dcs were My dh does/did too. I think it's so important to get time for yourself, that old analogy about putting on your oxygen mask first on the plane so you an help the ppl you care for.

Alexkate2468 · 18/03/2021 10:25

Wow, reading this I’m really lucky. I run 4x per week, go paddle boarding maybe once if the weather is okay, I work out for 30 mins on strength stuff every day and then either cycle or go on the turbo trainer once.
My kids are school aged and I work 3 days a week. DH works 5 days a week and he runs and cycles when he can fit it in. I feel like we spend a lot of good quality family time too.
I do tend to do a lot of my stuff very early morning or after 9pm though.

Megan2018 · 18/03/2021 10:28

I get about 3hrs on Saturday and Sunday and 1hr Mon-Fri
DD is 18 months.
I have a horse, on part livery. I can only ride at weekends now but go up briefly every evening.

VooveyClickwot · 18/03/2021 10:38

My hobby is triathlon, so I train on average 12-14 hours over the week.

This includes a mixture of the 3 disciplines, gym/weights sessions, pilates and when allowed, group rides with my club and open water swims with my friends.

I only have one DS who is 13 though and a flexible job where I WFH, so I train most days in my lunch break and early morning before anyone gets up so that it doesn't impact family time!

When DS was younger I'd say I probably had half that, so maybe 6/7 hours a week?

Doje · 18/03/2021 10:44

DH and I are both conscious that we need time out on our own. We don't have anything set, but DH will take the kids fishing for an afternoon when the weather's good and he always encourages me to go out for a run. Recently I've been going for a walk with a friend on a Saturday morning, usually for about two hours. I always ask if he minds, but I know he'll always say it's ok.

On the flip side, DH will go fishing by himself some times for an afternoon, or I'll take the kids out for a walk with friends or he has another hobby which takes him off for most of a day, which again he'll ask me, but I'll always say it's ok.

I also only work part-time! DS2 started school in September so I'd planned to increase it, but that's on hold until the pandemic is over and homeschooling is no longer a risk!

massistar · 18/03/2021 10:44

In normal times I get quite a lot. I play netball and tennis and do the odd boot camp. I only work 4 days a week too so use that day for long walks or lunch with friends. In lockdown it's been less but I still go out to run with my mates a couple of times a week. DH surfs so he gets that time. It all seems to work out. My kids are 12 and 15 though so can be left alone. Makes it much easier. My netball has always been sacrosanct though, even when they were very little!

MissingTheMoonlight · 18/03/2021 10:54

I have a 15mo who is a poor sleeper and all of my 'me time' is spent catching up on sleep. Still chronically sleep deprived!

Kimye4eva · 18/03/2021 20:03

Not sure how much of this is due to very limited options for anything else at the moment but I’d say at least 80% of the me time on this thread is exercise based, myself included. Much as I enjoy exercise (yes, I’m one of those annoying people!) looking after yourself and staying healthy should never be seen as a luxury.

Flip

1 2 3 4