How much ‘me time’ do you get?

[Annoy]

I’m mainly thinking of organised me time, such as for hobbies/sports/interests etc. Rather than an evening watching Netflix when the kids have gone to bed.

How much time in the week do have to do your thing?

I like a variety of outdoor sports, they’re my interests, but I’m trying to gauge whether the set up DH and I have is fair but want yours 1st so there’s no bias if that’s okay?! 😀

Neither of us have much, but it is our choice. I had a long time to myself before kids so I just feel this is a different phase.

When I need a break, I just book an afternoon or something. But it is all ad hoc. I feel happy with our arrangements.

@alpenguin

None. I don’t even get to poo without an audience

solidarity! Currently I can't even have a wee at night without bringing my co sleeping DD with me who somehow senses I'm moving and wraps herself around me and screams like I've abandoned her to wolves instead of with her loving father. He has to get up and also come and then I have an audience ....

None .
Kids age 2 and 10.

Pre COVID and pre my youngest baby, I got 1.5 hours a week to go swimming myself at 8am on Sunday before DH dropped my eldest with me to join me in the pool. I also got one evening out each month with friends or work mates, two if there was a PTA meeting.

DH used to go to gym after work 3 times a week. And out for drinks or curry with friends once a week.

Sadly I’m in the category of women who shoulder the childcare.

I get an hour at the weekend. It is not a set time though so can often get lost in family life. DC are 10 and 11 but I can't leave them both home alone.
I work 5 days a week in a school. DH works 3 full day's.

DH is a real grafter though, and literally does not stop (doing up our house, doing the garden etc). So it's not like he goes out of his bike for 8 hours a week and is rubbing my nose in it. But his main hobby is gardening that is definitely for him!

I'll get more time to myself when the clocks change and the evenings are lighter. It'll be easier to go for a run then.

@ChameleonClara

Neither of us have much, but it is our choice. I had a long time to myself before kids so I just feel this is a different phase.

When I need a break, I just book an afternoon or something. But it is all ad hoc. I feel happy with our arrangements.

I also do this, I use annual leave sometimes to take a half day to do my own thing. And I am very inclined to agree - I had DD when I was 37 and have lived a very full and independent life - and she's only 15 months so it's easy to bring her along on things I want to do so there is very little I need to do all alone. She's very partial to a long walk in the push chair and then a swing in the park and watching the ducks while I have a flask of coffee. I guess with lockdown it's easier as there's not much to do.

Quite a lot, and this thread makes me realise how lucky I am! I ride the pony for anything between 3 - 5 hours a week, run 3 or 4 times and go to orchestra practise under usual circumstances for 2 hours once a week. We have a 5 year old.

WFH has facilitated some of this as there are some days when I ride in the morning and work in the evening once DC is in bed (I have a very flexible & understanding boss). I also only work PT so can do some of that stuff whilst DC is at school (as well as some of the household stuff).

My DH also gets similar time to spend on his interests, and we do spend time together at the weekends. The balance is pretty good at the moment. Once DC gets older we'll need to factor in any interests/clubs they want to do so something may have to give at that point.

I was at pains to ensure we carved out equal free time from the start of DC and I protect mine, furiously at times! I'm also fortunate that DH shoulders a fair share of the childcare.

It feels like none, but DD is 3 and goes to bed at 7 so in normal times (with anywhere to actually go) DH and I could take turns to have a couple of hours on a weeknight. We’re usually too knackered though.

Normally none ever, widowed parent, eldest DC with some additional needs. I took a one year career break as I was going insane through lack of time to myself, and have spent half of it homeschooling so far [weeps]

@Howmanysleepsnow

Maybe an hour every 3-5 months? Or less if it’s for something booked in advance: an hour or 2 every 3 years maybe?

@Howmanysleepsnow

Jesus. Are you ok?

3 x 1 hour a week to run but only once ds is in bed or at lunch time from work.
That's pretty much it.
I do go away when allows with friends once or twice a year

Loads. Only interrupted by requests for lifts and my own work. My DC are teenagers and my life is very different now that they are older. I spend lots of time with them but they are becoming independent.

We take as much time as we want or need at weekends. DP's 'does his hobby' (oh go on then I'll you his incredibly outing and special hobby -it's golf) probably every other weekend in normal times which takes 4 hours maybe? I might take the same to see friends, I don't have a special mystery craft hobby. Some weekends nothing at all. Children's activities aren't allowed to take over the entire weekend as we aren't raising them to be selfish. (6 and 10)

DP isn't the father of my kids and will give me whatever time I need - that's why he's allowed to be my DP, don't be fooled into accepting less.

I’m lucky as I get quite a lot, I work part time so I have Friday to myself when my son is at school, he is also asleep by 7:15 most nights.

I would usually have rugby training twice a week and rugby tots twice a week, my son comes with me to those sessions. Usually Friday would be a gym day, my son would usually have a 1:1 swimming lesson on Sunday which would make another gym day.

So apart from Fridays I don’t have any true childfree time.

If you want a day off in the week have you looked at alternative employers who may offer this, but to be honest working a weekend day is harder as you miss more family time.

@MaidofKent78

Quite a lot, and this thread makes me realise how lucky I am! I ride the pony for anything between 3 - 5 hours a week, run 3 or 4 times and go to orchestra practise under usual circumstances for 2 hours once a week. We have a 5 year old.

WFH has facilitated some of this as there are some days when I ride in the morning and work in the evening once DC is in bed (I have a very flexible & understanding boss). I also only work PT so can do some of that stuff whilst DC is at school (as well as some of the household stuff).

My DH also gets similar time to spend on his interests, and we do spend time together at the weekends. The balance is pretty good at the moment. Once DC gets older we'll need to factor in any interests/clubs they want to do so something may have to give at that point.

I was at pains to ensure we carved out equal free time from the start of DC and I protect mine, furiously at times! I'm also fortunate that DH shoulders a fair share of the childcare.

@MaidofKent78

You are not fortunate he cares for his own child, that is the minimum standard you should expect

OP if you were to get a full day to yourself too that would need to be the weekend day your OH doesn’t work. So then you wouldn’t get any days together as a family which wouldn’t really work for most people.

We both get time on the weekend to exercise. At the moment for me that’s probably an hour each day, a bit mire when the gym is open.

Nothing specific/recurring during the week. We both fit in exercise pre work.

Pre covid if either of us wanted to do something in the evening in the week and the other wasn’t around (work events, working late, travelling, etc) we could always ask our nanny to work late. In reality for me that probably happened once a quarter. I might have half a day on the weekend to see friends once a quarter too. Maybe a weekend away with friends twice a year?

But this was more because life was busy rather than because I wasn’t allowed. We didn’t get much time with the kids during the week so weekends were prioritised for family time. Also all our family live at least a few hours away so we probably had people to visit at least once a month.

I’d say on a average weekend OH gets a bit more time because he tends to go off for a long run but I probably do more infrequent things that take more time like weekends away with friends.

None at the minute.

However when restrictions are lifted I will be going to the gym on a regular basis and we will have "couple time" once a month where we book a night away and have some lovely food.

Children's activities aren't allowed to take over the entire weekend as we aren't raising them to be selfish. (6 and 10

Wow. And there was me thinking I’d finally found a MN thread that wasn’t full of judgement. But well done @WaterBottle123 for bringing it back to the norm.

None, I haven't since she was born in 2018.

@Kimye4eva

Children's activities aren't allowed to take over the entire weekend as we aren't raising them to be selfish. (6 and 10

Wow. And there was me thinking I’d finally found a MN thread that wasn’t full of judgement. But well done @WaterBottle123 for bringing it back to the norm.

Also it doesn't make sense, as this poster is modelling selfishness somewhat

@ChameleonClara

How is balancing everyone's needs modelling selfishness? There is plenty of time focussed on the kid's, just not all of it. I don't buy into the constant total sacrifice model of parenting popular on here.

None really. Occasionally used to go out for a drink without everyone in tow maybe once a month in the before times. Most of our socialising is (was) done as a family.

I am hoping that I’ll be able to get down to the gym twice a week once they re-open, but DS2 who is 11 wants to join too so he’ll probably be there with a friend at the same time. My eldest is 17 & the concept of ‘me time’ kind of went out of the window when he came along, so it’s been a while!

If I’m not working I’m desperately trying to keep on top of housework, do mountains of washing, drive kids around or just generally sort shit out & all ‘free’ time or seeing people tended to be with kids (or now just the one child as the teen does his own thing). I am chronically disorganised though outside of work.

I actually can’t remember the last time I had an evening to myself, I can’t imagine it happening twice a week but it sounds lovely - I think you are very much in the minority though OP, the only parents I know who manage that, or any, amount of time to do whatever they want on a regular basis are the divorced ones!

Kids need to see parents ESPECIALLY mothers meeting their own needs or society will never progress

(child with special needs) I get two hours on Friday night when DS is in bed and DH visits DBIL, although I am still keeping an ear out for DS. I get an hour on my own in the supermarket on Saturday...

What's a hobby? 😂😂

None, my toddler follows me to the toilet, the shower, 'helps' me do online workouts etc. But I love it, I don't resent it at all and I know I'll miss it when she's a teenager hiding in her bedroom.

[quote WaterBottle123]@ChameleonClara

How is balancing everyone's needs modelling selfishness? There is plenty of time focussed on the kid's, just not all of it. I don't buy into the constant total sacrifice model of parenting popular on here. [/quote]
It was just the tone of your first sentence We take as much time as we want or need at weekends.

I don't recognise the 'constant total sacrifice model' of which you speak, I think you've made something up really. Yes S me do that but many families just happily rub along and have fun weekends.