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Original poster

what assumptions would you make about a family with four to six children?

676 replies

ChelseeDagger · 16/03/2021 11:15

Not wanting to start a bun fight or being goady in the slightest. Just looking for honest opinions, whether they be positive, negative or neutral.

OP posts:
AlaskaThunderfuckHiiiiiiiii · 18/03/2021 06:46

I think it all depends on the large families you know as to what your thoughts are

The large family I know, unfortunately, the kids are feral and the parents don’t give 2 hoots about their kids or their whereabouts, parents don’t work either. It’s just going to be history repeating it self for those poor kids

FakeFruitShoot · 18/03/2021 06:50

The England birth rate is 1.65 and the Welsh one was 1.54 in 2019, though. The population in the UK isn't growing due to births

And it all gets rather complicated when we say just replace ourselves... but should an only child be allowed 4 kids as their parents missed out? Should we wait until the individual's grandparents have died before they're allowed to have children?

I know there aren't going to be laws to limit reproduction rate to two, but things like the 2-child cap for benefits inhibit women's right to have more children in the event of relationship breakdown (as statistically she will be left raising the original 2 kids) but men can swan about having up to 2 kids with every partner and the family receiving benefits?

It's not an easy question or solution.

Lulu1919 · 18/03/2021 06:50

Wealthy
Earth Parenting
Crazy ha ha

Depends .....on the children and the home situation ..if you can afford them why not

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
ShadierThanaPalmTree · 18/03/2021 07:09

I would not care or probably even take notice of how many children someone had unless they were usable to afford them.

ShadierThanaPalmTree · 18/03/2021 07:09

Unable even.

Mintychococolate · 18/03/2021 07:23

Religious. Or rich. Or very child centred (from large families themselves). Not sure what to do if not having more children. Not wanting to get to that stage of the kids are grown up and leaving. Love babies maybe.

I don't know any as these people don't associate with lepers like me. The child free. We are usually considered dangerous and selfish and a blight upon society with our cocktails and holidays and unsuitable tv viewing habits. 🤷‍♀️

Sometimes it's just as easy to have loads of kids as it is two though from what I can tell as the older ones help out. The kids probably like it as there's a bit of autonomy and benign neglect built in. No one micromanages 5 kids.

Mintychococolate · 18/03/2021 07:25

Oh yes hippies. Earth parenting as a PP said. Is it just me or is that a bit weird. I always find these people very intense. Something just not quite right.

Indoctro · 18/03/2021 07:39

I would think is that really needed. This planet is vastly over populated and people need to take responsibility for it. I think two children really should be a sensible choice for everyone. People need to start thinking about the effect they as individuals have on the environment and the future.

Deedeedocket · 18/03/2021 07:47

We are a blended family so 2 adults, 5 children.

It’s a bloody headache and hugely expensive! Luckily there are only short periods of time when we are all together otherwise we have nailed the knack of when one arrives the other goes to their other parent.

Norwaydidnthappen · 18/03/2021 09:25

We have 5 aged between 8 months and 11. We often get fond smiles and nice comments from strangers, our DC behave quite well so definitely aren’t ‘feral creatures’ and I dress them quite well I think, they don’t look like Dickensian orphans anyway.

The joke about not having a TV is probably the most tedious. We don’t watch much TV, too busy reading 🤷🏻‍♀️ .

womaninatightspot · 18/03/2021 11:17

@FakeFruitShoot

The England birth rate is 1.65 and the Welsh one was 1.54 in 2019, though. The population in the UK isn't growing due to births

And it all gets rather complicated when we say just replace ourselves... but should an only child be allowed 4 kids as their parents missed out? Should we wait until the individual's grandparents have died before they're allowed to have children?

I know there aren't going to be laws to limit reproduction rate to two, but things like the 2-child cap for benefits inhibit women's right to have more children in the event of relationship breakdown (as statistically she will be left raising the original 2 kids) but men can swan about having up to 2 kids with every partner and the family receiving benefits?

It's not an easy question or solution.

Over some wine a chum and I agreed that men who fail to support their children should be offered a vasectomy before they are allowed access to state resources. No idea if that's feasible or realistic.

I think there was some crappy story doing the rounds about some bloke who was on benefits having ten kids with nine women.

KevinTheGoat · 18/03/2021 12:00

They're either Catholic or they like having kids.

KevinTheGoat · 18/03/2021 12:01

(or they could be a blended family, when my mum was with my last stepdad there were five kids in total)

Mum2Girls19 · 18/03/2021 12:07

TBH not sure why OP has posted this question??

I would think its got bugger all to do with anyone else..

I have 4 children..
me and my husband both work...
yes they are all girls, no we dont feel the need to add a boy...
no I am not on benefits...
yes we have a TV and it matters to other people who are not paying our bills or looking after my children because??

Personally I think ppl are nosey and they often lash out at families like myself because they want what we have, thats been my experience.

FullofCurryandparatha · 18/03/2021 12:08

I don't know any as these people don't associate with lepers like me. The child free. We are usually considered dangerous and selfish and a blight upon society with our cocktails and holidays and unsuitable tv viewing habits

Or they stay away from you as you're clearly insane.

Ineedaneasteregg · 18/03/2021 12:13

Sometimes it's just as easy to have loads of kids as it is two though from what I can tell as the older ones help out.

My DM used to say this and it was true.

It was also profoundly unfair for the mini adult parents in this set up.

I did not have a large family.

Ineedaneasteregg · 18/03/2021 12:14

Mini non adult parents..

thecognoscenti · 18/03/2021 12:15

I'd assume they didn't give a shit about the environment. The global population is ballooning. We do not need more people than we already have. 60% of the UK's wildlife has disappeared in the last forty or fifty years, because of people. It's mind-bogglingly my selfish to have more children than the replacement rate of two per couple.

FullofCurryandparatha · 18/03/2021 12:19

It was also profoundly unfair for the mini adult parents in this set up

Helping occasionally with younger siblings is not profoundly unfair, in the same way hoovering your own bedroom as a teen is not profoundly unfair. It's a family chore, same as any other, and promotes responsibility and caring for others.

blowinahoolie · 18/03/2021 12:30

Nothing wrong with asking older siblings for occasional help with the younger ones. Grab a nappy please, can you read a story to X whilst I read to Y, etc. Fosters a caring environment, to not just be selfish but think of others too.

blowinahoolie · 18/03/2021 12:31

@FullofCurryandparatha

It was also profoundly unfair for the mini adult parents in this set up

Helping occasionally with younger siblings is not profoundly unfair, in the same way hoovering your own bedroom as a teen is not profoundly unfair. It's a family chore, same as any other, and promotes responsibility and caring for others.

Agree with you.
Ineedaneasteregg · 18/03/2021 12:46

Helping occasionally is one thing.
But if you are doing enough caring that it isn't more effort for the adults than having half the number of children that isn't what is happening.

I love my siblings but my DP's massively underestimate how much work the older siblings did in the way of childcare for the younger ones.

So when I see large families I do question how much of the older siblings childhood is being impacted for the parents wishes to have more babies. I accept that my childhood created this view.

Cowmilk · 18/03/2021 13:00

I come from a big family with big age gaps. I have 3 dc and we stopping there for now.

I would have loved to be as organised as dm. Especially as routine is what helped keep her sane. I didn’t inherit that from her, so I’m gonna let the large family be only a dream.

LysistrataVickers · 18/03/2021 13:06

My colleague has four kids they're between 16 and 26 now. She is so busy with all of them still but they are wealthy so can afford it I guess. Lovely family though.

PopsicleHustler · 18/03/2021 13:16

I have 5 children, a mix of boys and girls and most recently a newborn.
People have said we dont care about the government and that we are crazy.
Actually, we are not mad, we are in fact very happy. The children all get along and are well looked after and cared for, my husband works very hard , he owns three businesses. We are not millionaires but we live a good life. We also only run one car to leave less of a carbon footprint and we recycle. My Dh and I have always dreamed of a big family. I don't have any family myself and am nc with my siblings and my parents due to a horrific childhood of abuse and neglect.
I love children and want to give them the best life that l canto the complete opposite of what I had and went through . Peoppe also assume we are very religious. We definitely are lol. God is great.