what assumptions would you make about a family with four to six children?

[ChelseeDagger]

Not wanting to start a bun fight or being goady in the slightest. Just looking for honest opinions, whether they be positive, negative or neutral.

Thing is in your OP you asked about assumptions - which implies automatic thinking, like the first thing to come into your head. But in you most recent post you are talking about something different, like more about a considered opinion. Which of course could be very different, depending on the evidence / other factors. So it's not really othering. You just asked essentially for people's first reaction.

And if people's first reaction is to 'other' it still doesn't invalidate my opinion.

Had I asked for opinions rather than assumptions I don't think their answers would have been markedly dissimilar.
I don't consider that most people on MN are really so attuned to the semantics of any given post.

So either way, @ChelseeDagger, you knew you were inviting people with prejudices and chips on their shoulders to pile on?

You did this regardless of how those with larger families might feel on reading the vile responses here?

That they like children.

Those who have assumed that parents of larger families are variously; involved with drugs, neglectful, disproprtionately in receipt of state benefits, poorly educated, religious fanatics and irresponsible are, in my opinion willfully ignorant.

And all of that was predictable.
You asked willfully ignorant people to share their assumptions.

I would like to know what you hoped to achieve. I think I asked that upthread. If I didn't then someone else certainly did.

That they love children and are financially responsible and well organised to be able to have a large family?

@mathanxiety

Yep, pretty much.

Because I don't consider that those who are secure in their choices are going to give much credence to the misapprehensions of people whom they do not know on an anonymous internet forum.

No, I asked a cross section of MN to share their assumptions.

I find the juxtaposition of those with resonable assumptions and their measured contributions and those with ignorant, prejudiced assumptions and their fervent comtributions to be rather interesting and wholly unproblematic.

Why anybody should feel aggreived by them spouting prejudiced shite is beyond me. They have made themselves look very silly indeed, as I suspected they would.

And maybe they have hurt other people in the process?

It's not your place to question the effects on other people of a thread you post. It's dismissive and it's arrogant.

Hooray for you if you don't feel hurt by the responses you knew you would get here. If you felt you were up for it, why not just stop strangers in the street to canvass opinions about you and your choices?

It's not ok to invite people hiding behind their screens to pour scorn on other people.

@mathanxiety

Odd that you seem more angry with the OP than you are with the posters who are intent on 'spilling bilge' or whatever phrase it was that you used earlier.

OP I agree with you, they made themselves look very silly and they are in fact the arrogant ones, by very virtue of the fact that they seem to assume that because they couldn't be a good parent to a larger number of DC, nobody else possibly could.

I have enjoyed the thread. As people much younger than I would say, haters gonna hate...

I would say the OP who knowingly invited the spewing of bilge is more culpable than those who flaunted their ignorance for the benefit of posterity.

I am still waiting to find out what the purpose of this predictably nasty thread was.

They like shagging

No, I asked a cross section of MN to share their assumptions.

You invited people who have assumptions to post, knowing that people who are ignorant and abusive would pile in along with the rest. You have admitted that the nastiness was predictable.

So again...
Why?

Culpable for what exactly?

The sensitivities of those who may become offended by opinions which do not relate to their life in any tangible way?

With the greatest of respect and of course the utmost sensitivity; have a word with yourself snowflake.

@PurpleDaisy2114

Guilty as charged.

In the OP's case, I would assume that English is not their first language. I might even think that they were visiting from a site popular with MRAs and incels, that they have a warped sense of humour, too much time on their hands and that they are definitely not a mother.

My dad is 1 of 14, most of my aunts & uncles have 4+ kids, I’m the odd one out with an only child. You’ve got to have a lot more than 4 to raise my eyebrows!

I'd think the parents don't give a stuff about the environment and are therefore quite possibly selfish/self-centred about other things as well.

Culpable for what exactly?

As I stated upthread, religion and ethnicity/ethnic origin are protected characteristics.

Both have been implicitly and/or explicitly dragged through the mud here.

The OP knew what would happen yet she ploughed ahead.

I’d think they were pretty selfish.

Society and the environment, in particular, could not function if everyone had 4 or more children. That, and the desire to give each child plenty of attention, is why most people have fewer children.

I don't consider that those who are secure in their choices are going to give much credence to the misapprehensions of people whom they do not know on an anonymous internet forum.

Implying that those who criticise you are not secure in their choices?

I have 4 and would find it weird people making any assumptions about me based on that. That's probably one of the least interesting things about me.

@mathanxiety

Then have a word with those who have expressed xenophobic views. The OP isn't responsible for other people's prejudices.
For my part, I certainly think its better to know who I'm dealing with on here and this thread has been rather illustrative of that.

So rather that berate the OP, I'd rather thank her for bringing these posters to my attention so that I may avoid them likethe plague in future.

[quote ChelseeDagger]@theleafandnotthetree

I'd go along with your supposition actually.

All of my children are beautiful, kind, high acheivers. I do think I have done society a great service by producing them. And no, I'm not being facetious, simply candid.[/quote]
Jeez.

Still, I guess that proves my point nicely.

The OP isn't responsible for other people's prejudices.

The OP is responsible for inviting people holding those prejudices to express them here.

In fact, she knew exactly the sort of responses she would elicit here.

Still wondering why she posted.