what assumptions would you make about a family with four to six children?

[ChelseeDagger]

Not wanting to start a bun fight or being goady in the slightest. Just looking for honest opinions, whether they be positive, negative or neutral.

My DF was one of 5 boys, they were trying for a girl.

I think it would be so tiring having 5 - 6 children.

I only have one friend who has 4 children, the last baby was unexpected. She said this as if she would be judged, but I certainly woudn't do that.

I have never come across this replication pov in real life.

most people who have two children whom I know have given their reasons as variously; finances, time constraints, the effects of pregnancy and birth on their body, unable to cope with any more, two just being the 'done thing' and then you get a dog.

I find it interesting that it crops up so much on MN, but then I don't find MN particularly representative of my lived experience.

The environmental impact of having 1 or 2 children (replacing you and DH) is very different to having 4+ where you're increasing the population size. Even on a very basic level it's a lot more difficult to take 4 kids on the bus and if you have a car you need a bigger one which needs more energy etc.

Since the planet is overpopulated those who are concerned enough to judge large families should simply not 'replace' themselves at all. Its not needed. Or is the judgement saved specifically for anyone who does things differently to them?

I have never had a car so we bike, take the bus or the train everywhere so more environmentally friendly than a family of 4 with a car already

As a mother of 4, some of these comments are hilarious. Others quite enlightening and some, frankly, rather depressing. Imagine assuming that somebody has drug issues because they have more than 3 children - bizarre! The Queen has 4 you know...

Anyway. More than 4, I think they're (mostly pleasantly) insane because I am definitely at my limit!

I don't really assume anything else tbh. My 4 are having the life that any other family of 2 kids have I think. They attend hobbies they wish to attend, somebody helps with homework if necessary. They are read to, they have their own rooms. I've been a SAHM, I've worked, currently retraining. It's all been doable. My children get ample 1:1 time, but I won't deny this has got easier as they've got older (they range in age from 7-14).

My house certainly isn't "covered in sticky handprints" as one person suggested. Surely this is a having toddlers thing, not a having more than 3 kids thing?!

I think the environmental impact regarding car size is a bit of a red herring because most people drive bigger cars now more than ever regardless of family size.
My whole street most houses have a 4x4 and some of these people have no children.

@blue25

I’d think they were religious and didn't believe in contraception & didn’t understand the huge problems we have with over population and climate change (negative basically).

You’ll probably get jumped on but I agree. Plus there have to be yet more houses built to accommodate all these kids when they grow up. Then they in turn may have loads of kids...Luckily there are many more families who limit their numbers of children or even don’t have them. Imagine if everyone had 4 to 6 children!

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult I can't find it now but I remember there being a climate-based campaign for a (voluntary/not legally enforced) global two-child policy. The thinking being that the world population would slowly decrease if the maximum number of children anyone had was two as not everyone would have any/that many, but it's a bit inhumane to expect people not to have any children, because of biological urges (which is why most anti-natalist campaigns don't get very far).

It's been widely reported that the biggest thing an individual can do for the environment is have one fewer child so it's not really a judgment if you see a family with lots of children, it probably is the case that the environment isn't high on the agenda for them. Likewise if you come across a family with a private jet!

I’d think they were religious and didn't believe in contraception & didn’t understand the huge problems we have with over population and climate change (negative basically)

About a family with 4 children?

I can't decide whether to laugh at the absurdity or cry at the stupidity!

@TANYA90

I have 5 soon to be 6 my partner works and we do claim some benefits as my son is disabled and I’m his carer so I don’t work but we love them all and they all get attention oldest is 14 and is a high achiever in school with a pretty perfect attendance record and has never had one teacher say a bad thing about her my disabled child is also commented on by teachers as been very well mannered and having good behaviour my toddlers say please and thank you to the shop keeper when we go even my 9month old says ta when I give her things they don’t kick off when they don’t get their own way and if any of them do want something most of the time they get it maybe not there and then but when we can we will get it for them just because We are not loaded doesn’t mean they are scruffy little trouble causers both me and my partner don’t drink smoke or take drugs shopping bills aren’t outrageous as I make most things from scratch and they all eat healthy foods not nuggets and chips we live in a big enough house that we rent privately I think it’s crazy that people think if you have a large family you must be wealthy to be able to love your kids and them be well behaved or that you are poor and your kids are tearaways who get dumped on siblings my oldest loves been a big sister and most Sunday mornings you can find all of them tucked up in her room with her watching Disney princess movies together drinking hot chocolate not because she has to but because she wants to she has a lock on her door she chooses to let them in we may not be able to go on extravagant holidays or buy them a wardrobe full of designer clothes that they don’t need but we make sure they get holidays and clothes so they never look scruffy we are probably closer and spend more time doing things together than most 2 child family’s the only thing I can agree with is the washing I start my day with putting a load in probably do 2-3 (yes everyday) and end it with folding and putting it away

Longest sentence ever!

I find the environmental impact argument a red herring.
The UK birth rate has been falling since the seventies. Our children's generation stands to be smaller than our own, irrespective of the small number of larger families. The housing stock in the UK will be more than sufficient for the next generation of householders going by current trends.

Yes the world has a problem with overpopulation, the UK doesn't.
many women are choosing to remain childless in far greater number than previous generations.

If you want to object to larger families then fine, but please do so on less spurious reasons than the falling birth rate of our country.

We do need somebody to actually keep the economy going when we all finally get to retire in our seventies.

Oh here comes the real motivation for the thread
braces for ideological sermon

My immediate assumption would be that they are religious just because that’s been my experience so far of almost all families over 3/4

That they're a fun loving family? Most big families I know are.

People will have large families no matter what anyone says on MN. But you don't pretend that western consumption has no negative impact on the world.
Just admit you don't care and do what makes you happy.

Ok so you have your agendaOp
But why ask us about our assumptions?

OP has an agenda? Or she's just countering some of the "opinions" on the thread?

We don't need anyone to keep the economy going when we're in our 70's

We have immigration for that

As I said, I find other people's prejudices interesting.

my assumption would be that I bet they have fun.

The only person I know with more than 4 children (6) is a relative

And I observe that she didn't want to do anything else with her life apart from to have a very large family

If someone saw me out with my family, they'd likely assume I'd had four children. They'd also see that I was quite young and that my children are fairly close in age.
They would be looking at my stepson, my daughter and my two godchildren whom my partner and I have adopted (long story).

However, I'm quite aware that this isn't the typical set up and that, if you see someone with 4/5/6 children, chances are that they've had 4/5/6 children. I wouldn't expect people to allow for every situation.

On the sole information that someone had that many children, there probably wouldn't be any assumptions that I'd make, maybe a lack of concern for the environment. I expect that some people think that about us but hey ho. Given more context, there's a whole array of assumptions I might make.

@MondayYogurt

Western consumption isn't increasing because of a burgeoning birth rate.

Either extreme wealth or extreme poverty.

@ChelseeDagger How is it a red herring? Children in developed countries like the UK still have a much larger carbon footprint per capita than children in developing countries where the population is increasing. This article shows how much bigger the impact of a child is than every other action. It's not about overpopulation in terms of population density, but in terms of the amount of resources needed for the child's life and its children and so on. It's like saying 'don't talk about how polluting cars are' if there are fewer cars on the road than there used to be - but they are still having a negative impact on the environment

@Ideasplease322

I assume they are happy and noisy and busy and have a people carrier😊

Try a van!