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Would you complain to the school if a child called your dd fat?

68 replies

LadyMacbeth789 · 12/03/2021 18:25

My dd is 8yrs. She has is very tall for her age. Dh is a GP and has assured me she isnt overweight, but a good weight for her height. I was saddened and angered when a yr6 boy called her a fat whale.
Would you complain to the school if you were me?

OP posts:
Janaih · 12/03/2021 18:27

If its happening regularly I would, but not for a one off.

user1493413286 · 12/03/2021 18:29

Not as a one off but if it was regular then I’d talk to the teacher

happytoday73 · 12/03/2021 18:29

Nope...

nimbuscloud · 12/03/2021 18:29

Yes I would.

Just4thisone · 12/03/2021 18:29

I would not if it was me . I would tell my dd that she's not over weight and tell her how lovely she is. And say the boy is just being stupid not to listen to him.

idontlikealdi · 12/03/2021 18:30

No.

FelicityPike · 12/03/2021 18:30

Again if it happened more than once then yes, I would absolutely talk to the class teacher to get the bullying stopped.

nimbuscloud · 12/03/2021 18:31

The fact that a boy 3 years older than her is calling her a fat whale is unacceptably in my opinion. More than likely she is not the only child who is a target

Catsahoy2021 · 12/03/2021 18:31

As the child’s teacher, I would appreciate being told this, not so I could punish the offender (although I might depending on this situation) but mostly so that I could keep an eye on it. It could be that this is the last in a long line of offensive remarks the child has made, maybe we need some whole class PSHE or I know other children who have been unkind to your child that day but she hasn’t told you about yet.
It’s always helpful to know.

cameocat · 12/03/2021 18:32

Complain to the school implies that that it is the school's fault. I'd let your DD's class teacher know about the comment and let them decide what they want to do.

Oversize · 12/03/2021 18:33

If it happened more than once yes. I'd also start drip feeding her a range of responses.

Nohomemadecandles · 12/03/2021 18:34

I wouldn't complain to the school. The school haven't done anything wrong! I might TELL them.

nimbuscloud · 12/03/2021 18:37

I wouldn't complain to the school. The school haven't done anything wrong! I might TELL them.

I assume that’s what the op means

habibihabibi · 12/03/2021 18:39

I most certainly would. It is bullying and something the school should be aware of. It needs to be recorded because as previous poster said it is not likely a one off.

ChameleonClara · 12/03/2021 18:41

Yes, I would report it as bullying because it is bullying.

I would name it as bullying to my child and tell them they should not have to put up with it, but unfortunately there are some unkind people and we can't always get them to stop straight away.

DelphiniumBlue · 12/03/2021 18:42

Yes I would in your circumstances.
A Year 6 child should not be speaking like that to anyone, let alone a much younger child. The school needs to know so that they can deal with this behaviour.

Nightbear · 12/03/2021 18:43

Yes, I’d have a word with her teacher. Your DD is 8, so Yr 3 or Yr 4, and the boy is Yr 6? That’s picking on a younger child. I’d make sure her teacher knew what happened so someone can keep an eye on the boy.

LadyMacbeth789 · 12/03/2021 18:47

Yes I meant telling the school. The school is lovely and the staff are super but the yr6 boys are getting too big for their boots in my opinion.

OP posts:
Cuddling57 · 12/03/2021 18:54

How did your daughter feel?
You said you was upset but hopefully you projected a positive resilient attitude to your daughter that she is not a victim (so don't call it bullying yet) does not need to feel upset because it was him at fault and not her and she can cope with this because she is emotionally strong and confident.
There's a two part approach here. Tell the school and teach her resilience. Cover both sides.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 12/03/2021 18:59

Yep this needs reporting.

hippychick11 · 12/03/2021 19:01

I would definitely report it . If he has said it once, he could say hurtful things again and no doubt he has probably said hurtful things to other children aswell

UnsolicitedDickPic · 12/03/2021 19:03

Little shit. I would echo what a PP has said; discuss with DDs class teacher and start teaching her some responses. Unfortunately she's going to encounter horrible little boys like this throughout her life - might be best to start teaching her now how to deal with them.

ArmchairTraveller · 12/03/2021 19:05

Yes I would. That’s an 11 year old boy being very nasty to an 8 year old girl. I’d tell the teacher so they could monitor what’s going on and also inform the relevant Y6 teacher.

LadyMacbeth789 · 12/03/2021 19:05

@Cuddling57 yes I agree. I have hugged and reassured her. She said he says mean things to everyone. Its a case of big fish in a small pond as it is a tiny village school. Less than 40 pupils.

Dd seems fine, but I will definitely be writing to the head who is also his teacher.

Thank you to everyone who has replied. Really appreciate the support.

OP posts:
ArmchairTraveller · 12/03/2021 19:06

@LadyMacbeth789

Yes I meant telling the school. The school is lovely and the staff are super but the yr6 boys are getting too big for their boots in my opinion.
They often do. Then they hit secondary and suddenly a lot of the arrogance and bullying gets put into context for them.
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