What needs to happen practically so women can be free?

[Babyboomtastic]

Obviously we should be angry.
Obviously the problem lies with the men, and it should be for them to solve, and not us. By it they haven't.
Obviously we shouldn't have to feel that we are under any curfew in life to be safe.

And ultimately the solution is that men need to stop killing and raping women.

But practically speaking, how do we get there? Our anger won't solve it, and obviously it's not going to be solved as easily as telling men to not commit these offences, as that doesn't work.

I'd like us to reclaim the streets (and also have safety in the home, which is an even bigger threat to women) so what can we do about it?

And if we need a cultural shift (which ultimately I think we do) how do we initiate that?

Seeing as it's apparently only a small proportion of men, as on the other thread that's running no ones husband or son has ever done anything like this, I propose we tag the men who can't be trusted to be allowed out in public. I'd like to spray paint their white vans with a marker so I know never to employ one of them, I'd like to mark their clothing so that when they go home those that they live with know they're utter pricks. Until women highlight the abuse they are getting from particular men, and these men are identified in all areas of their life, its never going to change. A man can be a perfect gentleman until he's had a few drinks then he'll grab your arse as you walk past and tell you to cheer up, or that you've got a nice arse. He can be fine until he's in a van with some mates and decides to wolfwhistle the school girl walking past in uniform. He's OK, until the teenage girlfriend doesn't want to have sex with him, and tells her he's OK with waiting, but rapes her while she sleeps. These men are just normal men, until they're not, but we can't identify them or deal with them unless their behaviour is made public.

End the fucking patriarchy we’re living under

@Noshowlomo

Well yes, but I'm after practical ways of dealing with this, not mantra, as much as you're right.

So how do we end the patriarchy?

Well I guess we have to challenge it, every small and seemingly insignificant incident that we as society have been schooled into thinking is normal, funny, harmless, a bit weird but not dangerous. .............

But it has to be consistent, and it has to be talked about and excuses refuted and not accepted, it starts small, we have to keep it talked about, through how we go about this on a scale needed to tackle this, I don't know tbh.

What about these suggestions for not getting raped?

I think the easiest way is to target the identifiable men. If you get wolfwhistled or harassed by a man in a work van or uniform, report him. Refuse to do business with the company until action is taken, and support others who highlight these companies on social media. We're 50% of the population, and 50% of the economy.

After that, we challenge staff in pubs and clubs to deal with the issue by removing men who hassle women in their establishments. It needs to be as unacceptable as drinking then driving. Bans for people removed more than once, and on lists like pub watch that removes their freedoms and discourages repeat offenders.

For the rest, we use social media. We take photos and share them to warn other women of men who find this behaviour acceptable.

We can't be invisible and we can't be silent about it. There are men who support us, but until the perpetrators are identified nothing can be done

It has to be education.

Every mum has to teach her sons to respect women.
Every mum has to walk away from abusive relationships so their children don't learn to accept or expect the same.
Every school has to reinforce that education.
Govt should provide funding to make it easier for women to leave abusive relationships and so protect children
Courts and the CPS have to be told firmly by govt to do more because prosecution rates for rape are appalling.
Murder by a family member (ie someone in a position of trust) should attract a heavier sentence.

Stricter controls on porn
Greater visible punishment on perpetrators
Assumptions of guilty unless proven innocent ... too far ...but certainly training to raise conviction rates. Perhaps a not proven option as well as innocent and guilty. Not proven will tag on eg DBS checks and can be used as evidence in any future trial
During investigations the accused must hand over all electronic devices
Schools to lead on greater mixing between sexes so all children grow up with s as mixture of male and female friends

Join this vigil this weekend:

www.google.com/amp/s/www.brixtonbuzz.com/2021/03/reclaim-these-streets-vigil-for-sarah-everard-clapham-common-sat-13th-march-2021/amp/

Or start a local one near you

We should all be out during the vigil. Every woman in the country. Even if it rains. Even if you have to take your children. No banners, no speeches, just out on the streets. And any decent man should be indoors. No, don't walk with us. We din't need your protection, we need you to obey the law.

Dint? Don't.

All men to be shipped off to their own island. Woman will never be safe.

no. we need men to stand up for us by putting other men in their place....call other men on their behaviour. set the barr

and set it high!!!

@NinetyNineRedBalloonsGoBy

Join this vigil this weekend:

www.google.com/amp/s/www.brixtonbuzz.com/2021/03/reclaim-these-streets-vigil-for-sarah-everard-clapham-common-sat-13th-march-2021/amp/

Or start a local one near you

This needs to go world wide. We need to post the shit out of this on social media, it needs to get in everyone's face everywhere. And not just this weekend, until things change.

@Bluebird2021

no. we need men to stand up for us by putting other men in their place....call other men on their behaviour. set the barr

Exactly.

Men need to call out other men. Every. Single. Time.

They need to be shamed into stopping their disgusting behaviour.

Either that, or we chemically neuter them all at birth and they have to earn the right to the antidote (I'm only half joking).

News media are reporting that police have cancelled the vigils.

That's right. Because of covid lockdown laws.

www.echo-news.co.uk/news/19153254.sarah-everard-southend-vigil-cancelled-due-covid-restrictions/

AIBU to think the police are cheeky fuckers?

Stop putting the clocks back in the winter is a small step. Whatever we do, there is the fear that many women have of previous experiences of being in certain places in the dark. This would reduce the number of days going home from a standard office or similar 9-5 job in the dark by between 50 and 60.

Make porn harder to access even the legal stuff ok you want to watch it, it comes off your debit credit card fixed to your address over 18s only,

@Mintjulia :
Every mum has to teach her sons to respect women.
Every mum has to walk away from abusive relationships so their children don't learn to accept or expect the same.
Every school has to reinforce that education.
Govt should provide funding to make it easier for women to leave abusive relationships and so protect children.

This here is EXACTLY the problem.

Men need to fix this shit.

Patriarchy and capitalism are inextricably linked.

Universal Basic income is where I would start. And more equalised and more generous parental leave.

I have seen some men who have zero respect for women teach the same thing to their sons. I was sexually harassed relentlessly in college by a guy who had a 13 year old son and now his son is doing exactly the same thing. Openly calls women 'fillies' and 'bitches'. On the other hand this guys mother has tried time and time again to instill respect into her son and he becomes violent and abusive.

Things like the vigil are good ways to express our anger, and grieve in solidarity, but I can't imagine there's a single man who would decide not to abuse or kill us because we went on a march (though raising awareness is in itself a good thing). The same for telling them not to rape us or to blow a whistle if they are about to rape. It's a nice reversal of the burden, to the correct place (ie the men) but it's not going to actually have a practical effect is it?

These things are borne out of our frustration, but if we actually want things to change, we need to work as a society that finding practical ways to bring that change about.

It's clearly going to have quite a lot of different parts to it, no one tactic will be a silver bullet.

– Encourage mixed play from nursery age, prevent segregation and dismantle gender stereotypes
– Introduce education programmes from primary age that deal with respect, consent, empathy etc
– Positive role models for boys and male-only conversations/lessons/workshops focused on these issues and how they can adapt their behaviour. Force them to confront the reality of being a woman in society
– Boys are taught how to call out misogyny
– Government-funded mixed-sex youth programmes and clubs for every child
– Better / more consistent police training for dealing with any report related to harassment and violence. Women are believed and protected; perpetrators receive very tough sentences –ie, the entire prosecution process is overhauled
– Offenders must engage in education programmes
– The entire discourse shifts from how women can change their behaviour to how men must

God, there's so much work to do. It's exhausting.