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Original poster

Unregistered child, home birth, no medical intervention

132 replies

LudoBear · 08/03/2021 10:23

Just Monday morning ponderings.

I wonder how many children/adults out there have been born at home, no medical intervention throughout pregnancy, baby never registered, home schooled, never went to doctors etc. I wonder how long it would be possible to go without a child ever being legally known anywhere

OP posts:
SunshineCake · 08/03/2021 16:57

Obviously a house needs to be hygenically safe but I was brought up in a clean, as I cleaned it from aged nine, house with adults who were thought of as amazing.

Reality - not fed well, as in missed meals several times a month, abused by the man, abused by the woman. All had checks and passes as suitable.

Phew. Actually started tears there so best stop.

Rainallnight · 08/03/2021 17:05

It’s a big red flag for child protection. Our DC are adopted and their birth mum carried DS to term, concealing the pregnancy, without any ante natal care. The intention was to hide DS for as long as she could get away with but when she tried to give birth at home with her DP, stuff went wrong and they called an ambulance. But for that, he could be having an awful life Sad

allfurcoatnoknickers · 08/03/2021 17:10

@MouthAche My best friend didn't go to her GP from the age of 4 to the age of 19! She had all her jabs at school and was just never ill enough to go to the doctor. Never went to A&E either.

She went to a private dentist and orthodontist, so she basically just vanished from the NHS for 15 years.

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Cattenberg · 08/03/2021 17:12

SunshineCake Flowers

I missed my antenatal home visit as the first date wasn’t convenient, so I postponed it. I then gave birth early. All of my postnatal checks were at my parents’ house, as DD and I stayed there for the first few weeks.

After we moved back to our flat, the HV made an appointment to see us “at home”. DD was thriving by then, but there was clearly a box on a form that hadn’t been ticked. The HV did indeed walk into our bedroom. She also used the bathroom, although that was probably a coincidence.

ShopTattsyrup · 08/03/2021 17:14

@viques we do ask for your GP details but if you don't have one for whatever reason, or just can't remember the practice details it's not an issue, we can still create the record and ideally update it later on when you remember who your GP is etc.

Similarly most people (even ones with complex medical conditions who get regular GP and hospital attendances) don't remember their NHS no. off the top of their head. We do use our systme to find your NHS no. to sync the notes but there is nothing to actually stop you creating a hospital record for someone without an NHS number.

NuclearDH · 08/03/2021 17:21

@niceandsimple

Not quite the same, but my DS was born in Dec. When I went to register his birth I went in on my own and although I had his red book, my discharge papers from the hospital and my ID, as asked requested on the website when booking, I wasn't asked to show anything! I could have registered a non existent child and then have a fraudulent ID for criminal purposes quite easily. I only realised they hadn't checked anything once I'd got home.... Shock
It’s all done electronically. So the hospital send info to the registrars office. If you pitch up with an unexpected baby the appt won’t proceed. Likewise if a baby isn’t registered I believe questions will be asked.

It’s why registered midwives can’t work as registrars unless they come off the midwifery register. They could make stuff up at the hospital end and then finialise the Registration at the other end.

NuclearDH · 08/03/2021 17:24

We moved house when Dd was about 18 months old, maybe a bit over 2yo. Never saw a HV after moving and didn’t feel we needed to.

Dd was registered at the new village GP surgery.

When she was about 5yo I rang the HV in the village for advice and she nearly had a fit. Said Dd wasn’t on her radar. I said I had no idea why as we’d registered at the doctors. She was round so fast to do a home check it was untrue!

terrywynne · 08/03/2021 18:13

No antenatal home checks for me - local Hv used to do them but was in process of retiring. One HV home visit where they only saw one room. Midwife follow up check saw living room and spare bedroom (not where the cot was!). All other HV checks out of the home. Generally found the ones in my area to be fantastically useless and have had no contact after 2 year check. Can't see them being aware of a 5 year old moving into their patch that they haven't seen...

With census coming up, I am aware of how easy it was to just lie in the past. I had ancestors who declared on about 3 censuses that they were married with legitimate children when in fact he was still married to his first wife the whole time, and didn't marry his second wife until the first wife died. But they just lived as husband and wife and presumably told the neighbours they were married. Not sure what got put on the kids birth certificates in terms of parents names.

IdrisElbow · 08/03/2021 18:16

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

itsgettingwierd · 08/03/2021 18:59

If someone isnt registered as a birth what happens why they die?

I assume they have private funerals between themselves but surely something must happen to a body and you can't conceal it easily?

NothingIsWrong · 08/03/2021 19:15

I needed a copy of my birth certificate once and went off to the registry office. The lad in front of me was trying to get information about how to change his name on his birth certificate because his parents obviously couldn't agree on a name and his official name was Baby!

NothingIsWrong · 08/03/2021 19:16

They were supposed to come back within a year and change it to his chosen name but forgot and he didn't find out until he wanted a passport to go on a lads holiday abroad and discovered his legal name was Baby!

Aimee1987 · 08/03/2021 19:38

@NothingIsWrong

They were supposed to come back within a year and change it to his chosen name but forgot and he didn't find out until he wanted a passport to go on a lads holiday abroad and discovered his legal name was Baby!
Hahaha that is hilarious.
JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 08/03/2021 19:51

I was born in a UK hospital in the 70s, at which time my dad already held a job offer from a foreign based NGO - they just waited for my mum to recover and then moved abroad.

I don't think they "told" anyone - I mean, obviously friends and family knew but I was a baby and not in school etc so officially no one knew.

I lived outside the UK till I was an adult.

On returning, some things were tricky - getting an NI no, for instance - but other stuff not. Weirdly, my medical record just filled itself in - with wrong info - I suspect someone couldn't understand the gap of 18-19y and just spliced in someone else's info.

AspergersMum · 08/03/2021 19:57

@IdrisElbow that case wasn't as straightforward as that tho. That boy was known as someone the mum worked with (I think) had reported it but the council didn't see him. from bbc "Although the family lived in Pembrokeshire, Mrs Seabridge worked in neighbouring Ceredigion before her work was terminated.

During employment tribunal proceedings, a lawyer and a head teacher contacted social services after they became aware Mrs Seabridge suffered from mental ill health and her child was home educated.

Education officials visited the Seabridges but they had no power to see Dylan."

Then they say he was invisible, under the radar but they confused child welfare with education and decided they "couldn't" see him.

Original poster
LudoBear · 08/03/2021 20:51

Gosh I wasn't expecting so many replies! Fascinating stories!

OP posts:
CeeceeBloomingdale · 08/03/2021 21:05

It's amazing how things vary from area to area. Both of my children had health visitors who would ring or pop in now and then to tick boxes. I remember one calling in unannounced a few months after we had moved house within the same town presumably to check on the living arrangements. We were in the middle of a kitchen refit so had workmen in, a skip on the drive etc so it wasn't great timing but hopefully she could still see it was suitable.

I also remember having an survey once to fill in as I had a child who had never been to A&E and they wanted to know why (eldest child was clumsy and a frequent visitor!)

My grandfather was born abroad and his birth certificate was hidden from him until his mother died in his senior years. His date of birth was different tp what he believed as he was born out of wedlock. He could only get a 1 year passport from the post office, not a full one and was turned down when he tried to emigrate to his home country as he didn't have his birth certificate at the time.

Siepie · 08/03/2021 21:23

My grandfather was born abroad and his birth certificate was hidden from him until his mother died in his senior years. His date of birth was different tp what he believed as he was born out of wedlock. He could only get a 1 year passport from the post office, not a full one and was turned down when he tried to emigrate to his home country as he didn't have his birth certificate at the time.

A friend is from a country which has had a lot of turbulence and civil wars, and so record-keeping is a bit patchy. Her birth certificate has one DOB but her passport says 1st Jan. It caused all sorts of issues with getting visas until she bribed her country's passport office reapplied for a passport and insisted that it matched her birth certificate.

itsgettingwierd · 08/03/2021 21:34

@NothingIsWrong

I needed a copy of my birth certificate once and went off to the registry office. The lad in front of me was trying to get information about how to change his name on his birth certificate because his parents obviously couldn't agree on a name and his official name was Baby!
🤣🤣🤣🤣

Dirty dancing style - nobody outs baby on my passport Wink

unim · 08/03/2021 21:34

I would imagine this would be very rare and cause countless problems. One could never see doctors, dentists or go to school - how would the parents work? One would have to never be reported by neighbours as not being at school. Could never go on holiday or leave the country.

Given how frequently my children have little things that need medical attention - at least once every two years - I can't imagine being able to do without medical care easily...

I can't imagine it happens often, and if it does, it must be awful for the child to sort out later!

thanksamillion · 08/03/2021 22:14

We lived abroad from when my eldest was 2.5 and middle child 8 months. Because we were only ever able to be there temporarily and it was a bit unstable we kept a UK adress and bank accounts etc. I came back for a few months to have DC3 and obviously she was registered here but we left again when she was 6 weeks old. There was never any follow up contact from a health visitor or anything related to the older DC starting school. I was always a little bit surprised at how easy it was to dissappear.

Crikeycroc · 08/03/2021 22:16

I was removed from school twice to be homeschooled (1990’s, 2000’s). No one ever checked up on us despite being registered with the GP, receiving child benefit etc. It’s easy to see how abuse of a child could be concealed in this way.

My surname was changed by deed poll to match my mums married name when she married my stepfather. No consent from my father (who was listed on the birth certificate) so I’m not sure it was actually legal. But all my ID including my passport are in the new name. If I ever lost the deed poll document I would be in trouble though. I have nothing else to prove the link between the birth certificate and all my other ID.

MyDcAreMarvel · 08/03/2021 22:30

There was a tragic case a few years back of a young lad in West Wales who was being 'home schooled', had basically been removed from society and was completely under the radar no he wasn’t , he was no to social services.

MyDcAreMarvel · 08/03/2021 22:30

*known

WaggishDancer · 08/03/2021 22:38

I imagine there are far more than most people suspect. Not just certain communities but also those who either don’t have documentation themselves to seek medical advice or who won’t/can’t for some reason.