Well done! You did it! You had a vaginal birth

[faithfulbird20]

I heard that a lot in hospital recently and it I was wondering why. Just had my second vaginal birth but I was going to be taken for a c section and honest to God. I was terrified, I wouldn't be able to do it. I think people should also say well done for dealing with a c section because it's scary. You should be congratulated for both.


Ps the congratulating was done to other woman (not me...although I know I will get it when midwife comes to see me)...

[TableFlowerss]

Oh my friend said this to me too shock she'd had a baby 6 months previously and had a 6 hour labour with no pain relief. I'd been in labour 3 days and ended up with an episiotomy and ventouse and then got criticised for taking the epidural. It's not just men sadly


@BeHappyAndSmile

People are so strange and competitive, even to do with who managed their birth the best... it’s crazy! Lucky or her she seemed to have an easy birth, perhaps if she’d had your experience, she’d have been more understanding!

[ContessaDiPulpo]

Yeah, I had two VBs and a nurse said to me just after the first one (when I said 'God, I thought I was going to need a EMCS there') that I'd had this baby 'the right way'. Even in the post-labour haze I was a bit at that one!

[tonytiy]

I've had both & would always take a straight forward VB over a CS. They are not always the easy option! Both methods deserve praise.

[Carolina24]

My baby would have died without me having a c-section, so a vaginal birth wouldn’t have been an occasion for congratulations. What a stupid comment! The vast majority of people have c-sections because they or their baby are in distress, not because they just can’t be bothered with a vaginal birth

[tonytiy]

It's ok to to congratulate women on giving birth regardless the delivery method.

[Carolina24]

Also, c-section recovery is absolutely no joke. I think I deserve praise for going through that! It’s certainly not the method I’d have chosen, and was the absolute opposite of the ‘water bath and low lighting’, serene vaginal birth I’d envisaged in my birthing plan.

[tonytiy]

@Carolina24 yes I was quite shocked. I assumed I would have zero pain 🤦🏻‍♀️😁

[TheCountessofFitzdotterel]

Totally op.
My first birth was pretty hard, labour went on and on and I needed epidural and ventouse. The other two babies came flobbling out scarily fast with no time for pain relief. Couldn’t believe how much praise I got for the easy ones. It made me realise that there is something wrong with how women having difficult births are treated and I had a better understanding of why my friend said to me ‘I felt like I’d failed by having a caesarean.’ Nobody should be made to feel like that.

[DinoHat]

I find competitive birth so odd. Birth is about getting baby out safely!

[ladyvimes]

I’ve had two pretty straight forward natural births (I have been very very lucky) and no one has ever congratulated me on that!! Surely it’s just luck? Surely the most important thing is a healthy baby??

[HerRoyalNotness]

At one of my VB’s DH said to me well done. I jokingly said I didn’t do anything at all. The OB said I’m really glad you acknowledged that. He was a wanker overall though.

I had an emcs that was very rough adn I was in so much pain during recovery I thought if you could die from it I would. Next was a CS and k guess because they had more time my OB took such care the recovery was much quicker and much much less painful.

[FTMF30]

@SenecaTrewe

Why does everything these days have to be rewarded with seal claps? We're such an overpraised society.

I wouldn't say congratulating a woman for giving birth means we're an overpraised society. It's kind of a big deal.

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

I had a c/section and got "jokey" comments such as 'You got the easy way out'.

[CarlottaValdez]

I’ve had a vaginal birth and I’ve had abdominal surgery and I would not describe the latter as easy. It’s such a strange view.

[FuckyouBrennan]

It’s the most natural thing on earth. It happens every single day countless times.

[FuckyouBrennan]

@FTMF30 my previous comment didn’t tag you for some reason.

[faithfulbird20]

@Fuckadoodledoooo I totally agree why is pain fetishised like in childbirth? Why is it insinuated the more pain you went through without pain relief you're a better mother and stronger woman? I have had 2 vaginal births with no pain relief only because the stupid midwives told me I wasn't in proper labour and couldn't come in. Both times and especially the second time I went in at pushing stage. It was too late. Had I been allowed in sooner, knowing what I know now and that women can die in labour...I'd have an epidural or some form of pain relief. Just for some sanity and to save my mental health. Pain relief is there for a reason.

[faithfulbird20]

@SnottyLottie I'm the same as you. I find that disgusting tbh because people like us could turn around and say well if we were called in sooner we would have had PAIN RELIEF.

[Needausername99]

That's such a strange thing to say and something that would have made me feel awful to have overhead after my c-section.

I was already upset I'd had to have one and (wrongly) felt like a failure in my post-birth hormonal state! Plus I was really struggling with the recovery so this would have crushed me a little.

Although I did go on to have a VBAC which I was so happy about due to how tough I found my first time round and I think some of the midwives probably did congratulate me on that working out.

[FTMF30]

@fuckyoubrennan It may be natural and happen every single day but that doesn't negate the fact it is painful and tests your endurance and there are risks to the mother's health and wellbeing. Every birth is different but mine was no walk in the park (vaginal with gas amd air).

I went on to my DH about how hard it was at the time. If he were to have respond with "well childbirth happens all the time, it's natural. We're such an overpraised society", I would question our relationship.

[FTMF30]

And I don't mean that in comparison to c sections. Maternity, as a whole is not easy, even if it is natural.

[FTEngineerM]

@SenecaTrewe

Why does everything these days have to be rewarded with seal claps? We're such an overpraised society.

Have you squeezed a human out of any of your orifices?

It’s an incredible moment biologically. Of fucking course it should be congratulated.

[FakeFruitShoot]

I find competitive birth so odd. Birth is about getting baby out safely!

Birth is about getting baby out safely, with mum in as undamaged as possible physical and mental health, too.

I have given birth twice with no pain relief and honestly no-one, not even me, gives a shit. I am very priveleged to be able to not give a shit. So many women are left hurt, disabled, incontinent or unable to have sex. Giving birth is probably one of the most risky things many of us choose to do.

[WindyPudding]

It’s the most natural thing on earth. It happens every single day countless times.

Yeah and without medical help, the exact same applies to dying from it.

[Dinosauratemydaffodils]

Tbf the giving birth bit of a vaginal birth is quite a lot of hard work and physically and mentally draining. It's not exactly a passive activity.
The recovery from a CS can be harder, but what you have to actively do physically during the birth is much easier. It might be that she had said she could never do it and was being congratulated on that.

With my first emcs, I laboured for 75 hours mostly with no pain relief (ds was back to back and the 1st contraction hurt as much as the last), pushed for 2 and then had failed forceps. Based on my friends/family, my experience was considerably more exhausting and lasted considerably longer. A section doesn't mean have you haven't already done most of the hard work of giving birth already.

Agreed on the disappointed/failure thing, I got so much negativity with dc1 that two emergency sections later I still don't consider myself to have given birth.

I think it's as inappropriate as the dr commenting on my lack of stretch marks/exceedingly elastic vagina (forceps went in easily with no cut or tear) and just as outwith anyone's control.