Well done! You did it! You had a vaginal birth

[faithfulbird20]

I heard that a lot in hospital recently and it I was wondering why. Just had my second vaginal birth but I was going to be taken for a c section and honest to God. I was terrified, I wouldn't be able to do it. I think people should also say well done for dealing with a c section because it's scary. You should be congratulated for both.


Ps the congratulating was done to other woman (not me...although I know I will get it when midwife comes to see me)...

[majesticallyawkward]

That's really sad @Dinosauratemydaffodils you absolutely have given birth. 75 hours is incredible, you are amazing!

I've done both now, one vaginal (off my face on gas and air and pethedine!) and one EMCS, I was gutted when I was told the EMCS was needed but it was genuinely needed. I had a reaction to the anaesthesia so was shaking and vomiting horrifically, close call with sepsis, baby in scbu, awful recovery. Didn't get any weird congratulations for either and have never had anyone comment on how the babies were born.

It's a pointless argument/competition, a birth is a birth where the baby comes out of. Every mother has her own experience and no one has the right to belittle that.

[BertieBotts]

It's fucking hard and scary and exhausting however it happens.

Would defo say well done for getting through the birth! Would never say well done for giving birth vaginally. It's not something that's generally under your control.

It's not like you can just stop in the middle and go "nah, this is pretty shit actually, I'd like a c-section now" and they will do it! They'd just laugh at you. If you have a section it's usually done on medical need.

[Allington]

Well, I adopted, so no birth of any variety. Still incredibly proud of my DDs and being a mum.

[HiScore]

Ah I probably misquoted... but they did make congratulatory comments on the vbac. My main point being though is that they were very nice both times for both delivery types.

[FuckyouBrennan]

@HillbillyHol midwifes are supposed to refer to a vaginal delivery as such, not a “natural”
Which somehow seems to suggest that a c section is unnatural and can have a negative impact on expectant or new mothers. If your midwife actually said natural birth they need pulling up on it.

[Ploughingthrough]

I always find these threads a bit odd. Perhaps I am lucky but no stranger has ever commented on the way my babies arrived, no one has ever asked about whether I had pain relief or not, or passed any judgement on how I chose to feed my babies. I have discussed with friends but never felt judged, and have certainly never judged anyone else. I had VBs and I am grateful because I know the recovery period from a C section can be hard. But I dont think any more deeply than that.

[HillbillyHol]

I’ve had both types of birth, a c-section and a straight forward ‘natural’ birth. Both times I’ve been complimented on the delivery... ie ‘well done you on your c-section, major surgery is a big thing’, or ‘congrats on your vbac, isn’t it great to give birth naturally’.

You’ve probably had one of the most traumatic/exciting/life changing days of your life (however they’ve come out) so the nurses just want to boost you up and be nice. I wouldn’t read into it!!!

[WindyPudding]

A section doesn't mean have you haven't already done most of the hard work of giving birth already.

My experience also - although I still think any CS counts as giving birth.

I still don't consider myself to have given birth

That's awful Dinosaur - you have given birth, as have I. Congratulations and well done on your labours and giving birth, and I mean that sincerely 🏅🎊 🍰

[tonytiy]

I think it's as inappropriate as the dr commenting on my lack of stretch marks/exceedingly elastic vagina (forceps went in easily with no cut or tear) and just as outwith anyone's control.

Jfc!!! Why would someone say that about your vag!! 🤣

[Dinosauratemydaffodils]

Tbf the giving birth bit of a vaginal birth is quite a lot of hard work and physically and mentally draining. It's not exactly a passive activity.
The recovery from a CS can be harder, but what you have to actively do physically during the birth is much easier. It might be that she had said she could never do it and was being congratulated on that.

With my first emcs, I laboured for 75 hours mostly with no pain relief (ds was back to back and the 1st contraction hurt as much as the last), pushed for 2 and then had failed forceps. Based on my friends/family, my experience was considerably more exhausting and lasted considerably longer. A section doesn't mean have you haven't already done most of the hard work of giving birth already.

Agreed on the disappointed/failure thing, I got so much negativity with dc1 that two emergency sections later I still don't consider myself to have given birth.

I think it's as inappropriate as the dr commenting on my lack of stretch marks/exceedingly elastic vagina (forceps went in easily with no cut or tear) and just as outwith anyone's control.

[WindyPudding]

It’s the most natural thing on earth. It happens every single day countless times.

Yeah and without medical help, the exact same applies to dying from it.

[FakeFruitShoot]

I find competitive birth so odd. Birth is about getting baby out safely!

Birth is about getting baby out safely, with mum in as undamaged as possible physical and mental health, too.

I have given birth twice with no pain relief and honestly no-one, not even me, gives a shit. I am very priveleged to be able to not give a shit. So many women are left hurt, disabled, incontinent or unable to have sex. Giving birth is probably one of the most risky things many of us choose to do.

[FTEngineerM]

@SenecaTrewe

Why does everything these days have to be rewarded with seal claps? We're such an overpraised society.

Have you squeezed a human out of any of your orifices?

It’s an incredible moment biologically. Of fucking course it should be congratulated.

[FTMF30]

And I don't mean that in comparison to c sections. Maternity, as a whole is not easy, even if it is natural.

[FTMF30]

@fuckyoubrennan It may be natural and happen every single day but that doesn't negate the fact it is painful and tests your endurance and there are risks to the mother's health and wellbeing. Every birth is different but mine was no walk in the park (vaginal with gas amd air).

I went on to my DH about how hard it was at the time. If he were to have respond with "well childbirth happens all the time, it's natural. We're such an overpraised society", I would question our relationship.

[Needausername99]

That's such a strange thing to say and something that would have made me feel awful to have overhead after my c-section.

I was already upset I'd had to have one and (wrongly) felt like a failure in my post-birth hormonal state! Plus I was really struggling with the recovery so this would have crushed me a little.

Although I did go on to have a VBAC which I was so happy about due to how tough I found my first time round and I think some of the midwives probably did congratulate me on that working out.

[faithfulbird20]

@SnottyLottie I'm the same as you. I find that disgusting tbh because people like us could turn around and say well if we were called in sooner we would have had PAIN RELIEF.

[faithfulbird20]

@Fuckadoodledoooo I totally agree why is pain fetishised like in childbirth? Why is it insinuated the more pain you went through without pain relief you're a better mother and stronger woman? I have had 2 vaginal births with no pain relief only because the stupid midwives told me I wasn't in proper labour and couldn't come in. Both times and especially the second time I went in at pushing stage. It was too late. Had I been allowed in sooner, knowing what I know now and that women can die in labour...I'd have an epidural or some form of pain relief. Just for some sanity and to save my mental health. Pain relief is there for a reason.

[FuckyouBrennan]

@FTMF30 my previous comment didn’t tag you for some reason.

[FuckyouBrennan]

It’s the most natural thing on earth. It happens every single day countless times.

[CarlottaValdez]

I’ve had a vaginal birth and I’ve had abdominal surgery and I would not describe the latter as easy. It’s such a strange view.

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

I had a c/section and got "jokey" comments such as 'You got the easy way out'.

[FTMF30]

@SenecaTrewe

Why does everything these days have to be rewarded with seal claps? We're such an overpraised society.

I wouldn't say congratulating a woman for giving birth means we're an overpraised society. It's kind of a big deal.

[HerRoyalNotness]

At one of my VB’s DH said to me well done. I jokingly said I didn’t do anything at all. The OB said I’m really glad you acknowledged that. He was a wanker overall though.

I had an emcs that was very rough adn I was in so much pain during recovery I thought if you could die from it I would. Next was a CS and k guess because they had more time my OB took such care the recovery was much quicker and much much less painful.

[ladyvimes]

I’ve had two pretty straight forward natural births (I have been very very lucky) and no one has ever congratulated me on that!! Surely it’s just luck? Surely the most important thing is a healthy baby??