Well done! You did it! You had a vaginal birth

[faithfulbird20]

I heard that a lot in hospital recently and it I was wondering why. Just had my second vaginal birth but I was going to be taken for a c section and honest to God. I was terrified, I wouldn't be able to do it. I think people should also say well done for dealing with a c section because it's scary. You should be congratulated for both.

Ps the congratulating was done to other woman (not me...although I know I will get it when midwife comes to see me)...

I was terrified at the thought of vaginal birth, thankfully I didn't have to have one
Why?
My friend did not want one as she didn’t want to go through Labour but I am interested to know why you were “terrified”.

@QuitMoaning probably the fact of pushing a human out of your vagina and the huge range of risk and potential problems that comes with that.

Maybe she had a VBAC or something and really wanted this one to be a vaginal birth? It must be something personal to that individual otherwise, as everyone has said, you just congratulate someone for having a baby.
Congratulations on your new baby OP.

@Champagneandmonstermunch she should’ve said vaginal not natural. You didn’t have a natural birth, you had an assisted vaginal birth.

Its just this weird idea that doing things 'naturally', preferably with more hard labour, is somehow morally superior. I guess it ultimately comes from certain strands of Protestantism. I'm not saying that a C-Section is in any way easier, but even if it were....wouldn't that be a good thing?
I mean its probably more natural to huddle around a campfire scraped together from sticks and stones than it is to take shelter in our centrally heated houses too, but humans typically invent things in the hope of suffering less.

I had the same. Sat in a ward with my 1st after 3 days of labour, followed by an emergency section to overhear a woman be told she did amazingly for a vaginal birth with no pain relief.! I lay there, paralyzed from the waist down pnd and feeling really shit. Dont understand it. Sections are hard. It's awful. I'm tired of people saying I got it easy which I've heard a lot!

Tbf the giving birth bit of a vaginal birth is quite a lot of hard work and physically and mentally draining. It's not exactly a passive activity.
The recovery from a CS can be harder, but what you have to actively do physically during the birth is much easier. It might be that she had said she could never do it and was being congratulated on that.

That's odd that they would say that.
I remember the midwife telling me when I was having my son and it looked like my labour wasn't going to start with the induction the statistics of c sections and she said at our trust it was about 80% of first time mothers end up having c sections. She was telling me the stats to make me feel better I think. I didn't end up going down that route but I think as long as you're both healthy the way they got here shouldn't be the main focus.
Congratulations on your new baby.

I was terrified before giving birth to my first and was a bloody nightmare. I kept screaming that I couldn't do it and tried to run away So when I finally pushed him out that they did make quite a big deal of me doing it. It was a bit like praising a toddler

@iloveeverykindofcat

Its just this weird idea that doing things 'naturally', preferably with more hard labour, is somehow morally superior. I guess it ultimately comes from certain strands of Protestantism. I'm not saying that a C-Section is in any way easier, but even if it were....wouldn't that be a good thing? I mean its probably more natural to huddle around a campfire scraped together from sticks and stones than it is to take shelter in our centrally heated houses too, but humans typically invent things in the hope of suffering less.

Totally agree. Why would you get a well done for no pain relief. You dont get a medal and a clap for it. I wouldn't refuse pain relief at the dentist!!

I have an emergency C section then two VBAC. The only thing I can say about easiness is the recovery after a vaginal birth was miles apart from a section. The section was terrifying as ds nearly died. The VBAC2 was scary as both the baby and I nearly died.

Births can not be compared.

Where is this hospital that is saying this to new mums? It needs to be told to stop.

Maybe they said it to you because you managed a natural delivery despite problems. This means you didn't have to go through surgery, which is an added risk, and it means your babies have the benefit of entering the world through the birth canal - I can't remember what the benefits are (to do with antibodies I think). It also makes breastfeeding easier as milk comes down in reaction to a natural birth.

oh this reeeaallly pisses me off. I had 2 CS. no one criticised or anything but there was a definite sense of "what a shame" and I was heavily pressured into trying for a VBAC with no2. Friends who had babies around the same time were told how well they had done if they'd had an easier time of it. My SIL actually apologised to her husband for needing so much intervention for her birth. Its bonkers.

I was told I was 'very clever' for avoidong a c-section because it was totally my choice to fully dilate in the span of five minutes. Considering I had severe pre-eclampsia, was on the verge of eclampsia and my sons heartbeat had almost stopped, I was more concerned by other things. Like the resus station being quickly set up in the corner of theatre. Honestly some people are clueless.

its that "you managed to..." thing though - it implies that those who didn't were weak, or didn't try hard enough. I don't give a monkeys but if the end result of that is women apologising to their partners for it, there's a real problem.

You don't know her back story. Perhaps she was terrified of birth and wanted a cs but ended up delivering naturally etc. Perhaps she was crippled with anxiety and fear about a vbac and it is a massive achievement for her and not a random comment.

If I had had a vaginal birth the hospital would have had three dead/ disabled people on their hands. Doubt they’d have been doing much congratulating about that.

Maybe the woman in question had expressed a strong desire for a vaginal birth, or expressed fears of a vaginal birth and this was the midwifes way of saying “you did it”.
Maybe she’d had a c section previously and really really wanted to experience vaginal birth. Not sure why you’re getting worked up about this with just one line to go on.

Are you sure OP?. People congratulated me on the birth but not the method of delivery.

It’s also a competition as to whether or not you used pain relief and if you had an epidural, well... a friends husband told her that women in other countries have babies behind trees then go back to work and that it can’t be that hard......... needless to say, we fell out!!! What a male chauvinist pig!!!

I've had three sections (all elective). I had a horrific midwife after the last one that almost killed me who said "well, it almost caught up with you eventually, didn't it"

(The complaints procedure is still on going).

I had this too. Like a badge of honour. Totally daft. A baby born is something to congratulate, it doesn’t matter how.

(The section almost killed me, not the midwife. She was just a rude, unprofessional shitbag).

I got told this shit too. Emergency cs with dc1 and got comments like “aren’t you disappointed you didn’t do it properly?” Wtaf? I got to 9 cm- 9!! All the hard bit done and then a c section with even more pain and complications ffs. With dc2 I was congratulated on my natural birth and lack of pain relief- dc2 literally shot out of me I had very little say in the matter.

It’s ridiculous that we should be congratulated or condemned for something we have zero control over. Every delivery is worth praise imo. It’s fucking hard every which way!

And the praise of no pain relief is pathetic too. If you had a horrific headache and refused paracetamol would anyone congratulate you?