I'm off to the pub...

[purrswhileheeats]

Afternoon off work today so I'd planned to have a couple of friends round (it's allowed here) for wine and crisps in the garden 🍷However Mother Nature has scuppered our plans so I've decided to 'go to the pub' instead The pub is in Liverpool or Dublin and has the following:

Open fire
Pool table
Jukebox
Free, unlimited brandy
Strapping but polite men

Who'd like to join me? I'll save you a seat

Yes please.

Large glass of very cold white wine (in fact pop the bottle in a cooler just there on the table) and some salted nuts please.

I will read the paper by the fire, perform surprisingly well playing you at pool and enjoy chatting up the strapping chaps.

Bliss.

I'll have a cup of coffee from the temperamental lavazza machine, where you never know if it will clog up, spit sideways or deliver a decent cup without fuss. Living dangerously!

A bottle of Sancerre and 2 glasses.
Can we get some olives or cashews. Just noticed a very handsome chap enter the bar.... alone.

You're on @Iamblossom I'll even let you buy me a drink when I whoop your ass at pool 😉

Nice to join you all ladies!

I’ll be in the corner watching people put songs on the jukebox and trying to guess what their music taste is before the song comes on And it’ll be a nice cold pint for me and definitely nuts!

I want a proper boozer with a funny swirly carpet that was laid in 1973. And scampi fries.
Anyone for a game of darts?

And does anyone mind if DD joins for her first legal drink because she turned 18 months ago and hasn’t been able to go for one yet! I promise she’ll be on her best behaviour and I will steer her away from the jukebox....

RubyViolet I'll let you have him, I'll wait an hour or so until the odd little man in an anorak chats me up

@askmeagainin5 your daughter is welcome and we don't mind a Billie Eilish track or two on the jukebox

Ohh can I join you too , I will have a pint of Thatcher's and a pack of walkers cheese and onion.
Does anyone want anything while I am at the bar ?

Spies juke box and puts some Decon Blue on , any requests?

Ooh, if they're doing cocktails, may I have a Mai Tai please? And some salted peanuts...thanks for saving me a seat!

Save me a seat. I'll have a large glass of anything alcoholic

oh I can sit ay RubyViolet's table with the sancerre, olives and cashews. How do we feel about a sharing board of bread and charcuterie?

I’ve just bought some scapula fries and salty peanuts for us all the share. Remember that, sharing?!

I’m having a craft IPA pint. Ill drink it too fast and feel tipsy straight away.

Scampi!!!

Do they do food here? I'll have a steak and kidney pie and a pint of lager (since imaginary food has no carbs).

And a seat by the fire, please, away from the juke box.

My mum and dad will be in the sound proof outside play area with DD, who they haven't seen for months.

It's livening up in the pub! And getting warm in front of that fire 🔥

Pink Floyd on the jukebox please @AlCalavicci 😜

Count me in. I'll have a bottle of Merlot (it's been a long shift today), some cheesy chips and I might have a wander over to the juke box and put on some tunes.

And can the strapping men be just worse than me at pool? So it's a challenge but I beat them.

Ooh lovely, i’ll have a massive fuck-off glass of chilled sauvignon blanc please, and some of those hot sahara nuts that are about as addictive as crack

Let’s chat amongst ourselves and sip out drinks, getting pleasantly tipsy, until the polite but strapping men come over...

(and don’t worry @purrswhileheeats, we’ll all gather round you in a sisterly fashion to fend off Strange Anorak Man )

Omg hot nuts I bloody love them!
I'll have those, Canadian Ham seabrooks and a pint of bitter shandy please.

Please may I join? Sounds like my kind of pub, and you all sound like my kind of women. I’m REALLY shit at pool, but love it, so if anyone else is shit too we can drunkenly nudge the balls around the table for hours, and certainly get our 50p’s worth.

On a related note, please may the pub serve snakebite?

Apologies in advance - I am in the grip of a savage midlife crisis, so I will be the mid-forties one wearing ripped jeans and a denim jacket, looking like one of Dexy’s Midnight Runners..... Come on Eileen on the jukebox, anyone?

Oh god I might cry. Please can we go there now.

Fucking love those nuts too.

Oooh what to wear....jeans for comfort, sloppy joe jumper, maybe off the shoulder baggy one with a vest top? Short boots.

Oh I will have fags. Only ever smoke when I go to the pub. I KNOW RIGHT? Who's my best friend now?

Oh I will have fags. Only ever smoke when I go to the pub. I KNOW RIGHT? Who's my best friend now?

Budge up. I haven't smoked for 20 years but these are non-addictive fags that don't smell, right?