Intrusive thoughts

[Mumtotwoxo]

I have just had a baby 10 weeks ago. I was doing well apart from small panic attacks from my anxiety that I’ve suffered with for years. The other day out the blue I started having intense panic attacks where I can’t sleep and intrusive thoughts that are extremely scary and real. I feel like a bad mum. Has anyone suffered this too? Reached out to my gp and now referred to a MH nurse.

I hope everyone is well today

Morning @Mumtotwoxo - good to hear from you.

All good here. Just been on a long, muddy walk with the dog and off to work soon.

How did you sleep?

@TheLumpySofaCushion I took a Zopiclone but just couldn't get to sleep, feels like a set back but I'm not giving up.
How's the weather where you are? X

It's raining and grey here - not good for the spirit!!

Do you listen to music or podcasts in bed ? I do - really helps me fall asleep, and I actually wear headphones so I have background noise all night.

Not sure if that's quite as easy with a baby, but perhaps having background music / radio on low would make you feel more comfortable?

Where abouts are you? I'm in Dunoon - Scotland and it's sunny for a change! Definitely going to try get out a walk.
I've tried podcasts but my head just doesn't focus, I might purchase another book and try that x

@Mumtotwoxo

Where abouts are you? I'm in Dunoon - Scotland and it's sunny for a change! Definitely going to try get out a walk. I've tried podcasts but my head just doesn't focus, I might purchase another book and try that x

@TheLumpySofaCushion

Hi there 😀

I'm in the South East.. the sun has finally made it through!

Books are a great idea if you can get absorbed in them.

How are the visits with the MH team going? Is the team helpful?

@TheLumpySofaCushion aww super! Yeah they are helpful - just the same advice everyday though.
I feel like I'm at a stand still the last couple days.
Not getting worse nor better x

Well that sounds really great to me.

It will take time to fully get better... you've been through a massive ordeal and it takes time to get over the shock of it, too.

Keep doing what you're doing, and gradually the space between thoughts & worries will get longer and longer,

And continue to protect yourself from taking on other people's stresses, too. You need to keep your physical & mental energy reserves for you and your family.

@TheLumpySofaCushion it's not been long but it feels like a lifetime in my head.
I don't want to lose loved ones by pushing them away but I just can't help it. X

You won't lose people who are worth keeping, @Mumtotwoxo.

You're receiving treatment for post natal depression (as far as they know). That should buy you consideration from anyone worth their salt xxx

I just wanted to say hello OP, I think you’re doing so well. I’ve only had one episode of serious anxiety but remember how frantic I felt before I got help. Your posts remind me of this time so I really feel for you. You sound like you’re working through it, bit by bit. All you need to do is keep going, don’t give up, you will get better.
Thinking of you, hope you get a some sleep tonight

@TheLumpySofaCushion

You won't lose people who are worth keeping, *@Mumtotwoxo*.

You're receiving treatment for post natal depression (as far as they know). That should buy you consideration from anyone worth their salt xxx

@TheLumpySofaCushion, well said x

@Mumoftwoxo just checking in again, you're doing great and everyday is day closer to those meds kicking in and getting back to who you were before being overwhelmed by OCDx

@TheLumpySofaCushion you're absolutely right. Thank you for being a super supporter to me through this. X

@BreakfastClub80 hello! Thank you so very much. Did you suffer intrusive thoughts with your anxiety? X

@HaHaVeryBunny I feel this week the medication has taken the worst of it away but I feel at a stand still again - not getting worse nor better. X

I don’t remember any intrusive thoughts, though I’m going back many years now so it may be that my memory has deleted them - I can’t really remember much about what I was thinking at the time! I was single and independent at the time but knew what I felt wasn’t right. I remember feeling out of control of my mind during the day first, progressing into the night. That was the point I got help as I couldn’t function at work any more. I was lucky enough to be able to access counselling at work (occupational health) - I don’t think I stopped talking through the first session, just telling her what was worrying me. I went onto anti-depressants and gradually started to feel more normal.

My counsellor advised me to tell one or two trusted people and my GP, to create a safety net if I needed help, so I didn’t have to start explaining everything at that point. I think you’ve done this very effectively with your partner and mum etc. I hope you feel more supported now. You have some great supporters here too.

@BreakfastClub80 glad to hear you are doing great now, gives me hope. Thank you for sharing x

How is everyone today that's still attending the thread? I managed to go to the beach with the kids for a 15 minute picnic (proud of myself) x

That's so brilliant - so lovely to read.

Well done!

You've done so well. How was it?

@TheLumpySofaCushion it was hard but worth it. I came home and tidied but as soon as I sat down and had a clear thought that's it kick started again.
Going to try sleep tonight without a Zopiclone as I'll be in charge of kids again as of Monday. Very nervous and scared already.
How's your day been? X

I've had a good day, thank you.
2 long dog walks and a lot of house tidying here too!

Don't worry about thoughts coming and going... you're breaking the cycle and that's fantastic.

It's also natural to be apprehensive about your mum going back to work. You've come such a long way in the last two weeks.

Good luck with your sleep, @Mumtotwoxo .

Don't worry if it's not great... sleeping tablets then no sleeping tablets can take a while to settle down.... hope you get some rest, and look forward to hearing how you're doing tomorrow.

@TheLumpySofaCushion morning! I didn't sleep well I tossed and turned most of the night but I woke up this morning feeling half normal to what I have been feeling on the sleeping tablets, I'd say that's a bonus.
Also fluxotine is now increased from 20mg to 40mg x

Great to hear from you, @Mumtotwoxo.

Well done for going to bed without the Zopiclone - that's so good. Sleeping tablets are bloody lovely, but sadly they don't work for long, mores the pity.

Also good that the Fluxotine is being upped.

How are you doing? Any plans for the weekend ?