I cant cope with the crying anymore

[OhToBeASeahorse]

She is 5 months. I've done nothing but worry and fret and rock and shush and I've nothing left.

No she wasnt, I agree. I just didnt know it could take a few weeks and the dr was so keen for me to take her off it I felt like I was hurting her for nothing.
It gave her terrible wind and diarrhoea

Ok. Yes, those are side effects. What about gaviscon?

They gave me gaviscon to start with but I couldnt get in to her. Plus everyone told me that it was awful and would constipated her.
HV is useless.
I know if I phone dr tomorrow he will say to wean

My DS was exactly like this and it turned out to be an undiagnosed cows milk protein allergy that we only found out about when we started weaning at 6 months.

Yes, you may have to wean. I say that as someone who breast fed my dc for well over a year each. But if weaning helps...
A friend's baby was born with a large hernia that couldn't be operated on immediately. She had to be on thickened feeds plus gavison and kept virtually upright 24/7 until she was several months old. She is in her 30s now and absolutely fine.
What you are all experiencing now is torture.

It's so hard because she's happy in the day as long as I'm holding her. She is sick a little but it doesng bother her.

She's getting less settled with feeds rather than more. I really hoped the TT would solve things.

@Endofthelinefinally thanks so much for reading everything. I bf my first til he was 18 months end he had similar issues which just disappeared. Again doctors said not reflux.

I just dont know what to do for the best and the longer I leave it the worse I feel.

Both my dc had severe reflux (ds1 was hospitalised with it). Ds1 was allergic to cmp, whichmeant cutting out not just dairy but also beef. With ds2 it was eggs that were the trigger.

Early weaning helped a lot with ds1, but ds2 refused solids until 9 months.

So sorry you are going through this, it really is hell.

Have you tried thickening feeds? With ds1 the doctor made me give him a few ml of thickened expressed bm before each feed.

Oh, and the reason ds1 ended up in hospital is that about 10 docs said no reflux before we got him to the specialist who did an actual ph probe and said it was the worst hekd ever seen.

I don’t know why they resist it so much.

Oh gosh poor thing. How did you get to a specialist?

I worry very left this all so late.

Someone recommended them and I travelled abroad to where he was!

Ds1 is now a strapping teenager, so all’s well that ends well. But I still feel that tightening of the chest every time I hear (or read) about someone going through the same.

It really is time the medical establishment started to take this seriously.

for you. (would offer but I know you can’t...)

Contact your local la leche League and find a different lactation consultant lcgb.org/find-an-ibclc/.
Unless the GP has done tests and given a diagnosis I would very reluctant to wean.
Did she have a traumatic birth or separation? If so, discuss this with lactation consultant.

I second the fennel tea. I was EBF and it cut the sore tummy and wind right down.

Oh I feel your pain. My second child was a lot like this. Once they cried for five hours straight, I had to lock myself in the bathroom to shut out the sound.

I actually hired a sleep consultant, switch to formula, used a slew of props (swing, hammock etc) and after a lot of sweat and tears got them into a sleep routine during the day. Nights never resolved and eventually he was diagnosed with a neurological disorder.

Do you swaddle? Rub, pat or stroke back especially just before the 30min hump when they're sleeping?

I feel for you, OP DC1 had silent reflux caused by CMPA but we didn't realise until he was about 8-9 months old DC2 also had reflux caused by CMPA and other allergies but it's mostly under control now, she is 6 months old.

Some advice:

• you've cut out dairy but there might be other foods causing a reaction too - you say you had egg yesterday so maybe it was that? Egg is one of the most common allergies for babies along with cow's milk, soya and wheat. Are you having any soya products? It's a pain but I suggest keeping a food and symptom diary as it will help you identify culprits.
• try the Gaviscon. I was skeptical, it didn't help DC1 at all (nightmare to give and it made him constipated) but it has helped DC2 - we give just one sachet after the bedtime feed (more in evening if reflux is flaring and she's not settling) she does take it and it hasn't made her constipated.
• I assume you're doing all the common sense things like keeping upright after feeds? And do you have the crib/cot at an angle? You can get a wedge to go under the mattress (we have a wedgehog)
• this website is a helpful resource: dilanandme.com/when-symptoms-havent-gone-breastfeeding-with-cmpa/

and if you're on Facebook there is a group called "breastfeeding with CMPA and other allergies"

• for advice on reflux I recommend the book "colic solved" by Bryan vartabedian.
• lastly if GP isn't helpful don't hesitate to get a second opinion from a different GP and/or insist on a referral to a paediatrician. If you look up the Nice guidelines on reflux (and silent reflux) and suspected CMPA/allergies, and refer to them when talking to the GP, that should hopefully help your case.

Cows milk protein could be a culprit here. There's no specific test annoyingly. It's elimination.

Soya has a very similar protein - it's not always a safe replacement. My DD was also advised to avoid soya. She went through the dieticians & paediatricians at Kings London.

Are you dairy free? Could you try getting off all dairy and soya? It's in so much stuff but if you go really plain food for a fortnight and see if you can improve her?

We use oat milk. I cook with it just the same, just reduce quantities by about 10%
At 13, DD does have some milk - she chased down the ice cream van yesterday
But it goes straight through her and she has diarrhoea - this is what makes her anaemic. She gets trapped wind even now which can be painful.
She lays on her back in the yoga froggy pose thing for wind when it gets bad.

I really feel for you.
I think the weight gain (lack of) could be a route into a paediatrician via GP. I would ask for a referral as it is a failure to thrive (I realise that sounds horrid but it was a phrase they used when DD was tiny)

Covid is such a pain though. DS is waiting for paeds for migraine and there's no appointments.

Be kind to yourself

OP - you sound you’re about to keel over!
First thing - you are an AMAZING mother. So easy to feel that you’re not doing anything right.
Second thing - in the nicest possible way (don’t flame me people), lots of lovely support for you as a mum here but please persevere with GP and/or HV. Coulda shoulda wouldva be a lot of things but you need local expert support. Call them. Read the messages you’ve posted. Another vote also for videoing the crying.
Third thing - you’re an AMAZING mum.

But I'm not am I.
I should have stuck the meds out but I didnt.

I'm so tired and fretful. I just want to cry.
@Fazabulous you are absolutely right. I'm so SO grateful for people sharing their experiences but I'm just so lost.

She has another lactation meeting this week, I'm hoping they can watch her feed.

She has been happy as Larry today. I cant help but think she wouldnt be if reflux was really bothering her. I'm crap with babies. So much easier when they can talk.

@OhToBeASeahorse
The little SeaFoals are doing just fine with you. You’re not crap with babies! She wouldn’t be too happy with a different mum...imagine the scenes!
I came back to see how you were doing. Really glad you’ve had a good day. That’s a positive.
Good to hear about the lactation meeting. That’s a positive.
Hang in there. Try HV tomorrow if another bad night?
Did I mention you were doing a great job?

You're so kind.
Might try HV again but they've been useless with both my babies. All they said this time was that I I shouldn't be cosleeping.

Thinking of you today. I hope you are doing OK.

Thank you. Almost no crying yesterday, she gave me a 3hr stint of sleep then woke up every hour though.
Out of desperation I've taken her to a cranial osteopath which I know is hokum- apparently her head is tight, which I had to stop myself from replying with 'that's good given it needs to stay on her neck and keep her brain in'...

Your baby will be fine, it is you I'm worried about. The sleep deprivation is a form of torture. DD is now 15 tears old, I think at six months she suddenly just stopped crying, almost overnight at six months. I carried on waking for the next month because my sleep had been so disrupted.

You will turn the corner soon, best wishes.

We took ds to an osteopath too, who said in no uncertain terms that he needed medical attention, but somehow ds was still better after the session with her...

I’m not into woo either but some people do seem to have magic hands!