Mumsnet isnt helpful. Its dangerous.

[HowIsThisOk]

If you take one scroll down the trending threads list, its obvious that mumsnet isnt here to help mums. Its here so people can voice their worries, thinking they will get help, and instead they get judgement, bile, abuse, and told they are simply not good enough. Being a parent in these times is really really hard, but mumsnet clearly shows that so many people are filled with so much anger they just direct it at anyone who shows any weakness or worry. I saw today how dangerous it is, having anonymous people pull other mums apart. I am a person who will just step away, and it will bug me for a few days that those people exist, but I wont fall apart. Some will read the vile abuse thats thrown at them from anonymous, judgemental people, and that may have a lasting and damaging effect on them.

So, the point of this rant? Its like Mean Girls; 'Hands up if you have ever said something nasty about anyone behind their back. Hands up if you have ever had anyone say something nasty about you behind your back.'. Except this isnt behind your back is it? If you have posted something here, and found yourself an hour later in an angry panic desperately defending yourself from the onslaught, then you are not alone. This is horrible site, giving an outlet to horrible people. Looking at responses from some people today, many need to step away from this site. Being told you are a bad Mum/bad person especially if you are trying your best and looking for help, will have a huge affect on anyone.

I am out. Maybe you should be too.

Bye then. I have found it helpful personally.

To enjoy Mumsnet, one must touch much of it lightly.

It's a chat forum to attract attention to a business selling stuff to a targeted audience. Nothing wrong with that but don't dress it up as a social service!

Nethuns is >>>>>> that way

Have you got a link of the thread you're talking about? It really depends on the forum you post in. AIBU typically decends into quite a heated debate, and I find the posters who are more inclined to be a bit nasty/blunt tend to lurk there. Chat is a bit more helpful. Parenting ive found very helpful.

One thing all forums have in common though is that MN tends not to suffer fools, which I quite like. Each forum deals with it differenntly though.

Some parts of MN are thoroughly wonderful and supportive.

I’m sorry you haven’t had that experience but it is not a universal given that how you see it is how it is.

I completely agree with you. It can be really nasty at times. I see quite a lot of the same usernames come up too.

I am out. Maybe you should be too.
No thanks, I came across mn during early pregnancy while horrifically vomiting so much I burst blood vessels in my eyes, and didn't even have bile left to throw up, spending most of my pg in hospital on a drip, the hyper emesis board saved my sanity, and after an early crash section I found support and reassurance. As is ever the case on threads like this, if you are on aibu which is generally what trends yes you will find what you mention. But to need proper actual advice? The MN 'vipers' are unsurpassed.

Some people suck. Some people are on Mumsnet. Ergo some people that are on mumsnet suck.

It's to be expected.

Mners helped me see i was in an abusive situation and supported me through leaving.

I've also had the obligatory flaming as well.

It isn't different from anywhere else on the internet 🤷‍♀️

If you have posted something here, and found yourself an hour later in an angry panic desperately defending yourself from the onslaught, then you are not alone.

Sorry you have had this experience. I have occasionally had personal attacks. It's best to report them to MNHQ who will delete personal attacks, and withdraw from the thread (hide it from your active view). You can name change if you are worried about anything like that following you onto future threads.

It's worth noting that different topics have different tones. Generally, the more niche a topic is, the more supportive it is. E.g. if you post in AIBU that you're struggling to lose weight you'll likely get a pile on from unsympathetic 'eat less, move more' types, but if you post the same in 'Weight loss Chat' you'll get helpful advice and people sharing their own experiences.

You're focusing in AIBU OP. There are loads of other parts of the site where people make really useful, interesting or funny contributions.

Bye then. Enjoy all the attention on your way out.

There is more to mumsnet than just AIBU.

Get over to Style and Beauty, you'll get kind and sensible advice. Mean girls don't post on S&B.

Maybe someone is just a bad mum tho 🤷🏻‍♀️ a lot of people are horrible, but a lot of people don't intend to be horrible and calls it as they sees it.

You can see how bitchy it is from the replies you've had. I just called someone out for being really judgey of someone who had ASD and was clearly struggling.
My advice is post what you want to say to be helpful and then step away from the thread and if others decide to rip into you then you're happily oblivious.

Yes, S&B is always friendly. So is 'The Litter Tray' (as long as you are pro-cats) and hobby topics such as What We're Reading' 'Telly Addicts' and the various more obscure ones. For general topics, Chat is usually much more benign than AIBU.

@DobbyTheHouseElk

Nethuns is >>>>>> that way

So original...

Some aspects, yes, abuse and definitely things that are said by keyboard rather than to your face.

My pet hate is where advice is sought, you give it truthfully because it is fact but this is ignored by the OP or other PP's advise differently. I'm talking legal advice, policy advice about school complaints things where there is a procedure to follow. Seems everyone is a professional (not) who knows better. ( than those who really do!).

I really like Mumsnet, I don't agree with you at all. There are threads that make me laugh, there are discussions where I learn something, there's AIBU which I quite like... Some threads are rubbish, I stop reading them. Some threads are incredibly supportive, others not so much. If a topic isn't interesting I don't follow it.
I wish the site had been up when I was a young mother, it would have been helpful when I had no-one around to ask about things.
If it doesn't suit your needs, just don't log in.....?

You're not wrong, either. The current active thread where most posters have totally ignored OP's actual question and are instead going out of their way to ridicule her for the thread title. It's really pathetic and I imagine most of the people who enjoy being twats anonymously are nothing like it irl.

@comeHailorSnow

Get over to Style and Beauty, you'll get kind and sensible advice. Mean girls don't post on S&B.

You must've missed all the "what's outdated, cheap, ageing etc " threads.

I don't mind the odd snippy comment, people suck sometimes and like a PP said this site will attract a mixed variety of people, some good some bad.

What I don't like is when people harass you, following you from thread to completely different thread simply to target whatever you write and find issue with it. I've had to change names in the past because of this and I've spoken to a couple of MN users on here who have experienced the same thing. MN admins don't seem to mind which I find worrying...it crosses the line from being blunt and outspoken and becomes simple harassment at that point. I mean it's just weird isn't it, attacking someone's taste in teapots just because they said something you didn't like about mask refusers or schools or whatever else is controversial at the minute.

Vile abuse? Really?

I'm honestly not seeing that.

If you are seeing it you should report. Those posts will be deleted and if the poster continues they can be banned.