Mumsnet isnt helpful. Its dangerous.

[HowIsThisOk]

If you take one scroll down the trending threads list, its obvious that mumsnet isnt here to help mums. Its here so people can voice their worries, thinking they will get help, and instead they get judgement, bile, abuse, and told they are simply not good enough. Being a parent in these times is really really hard, but mumsnet clearly shows that so many people are filled with so much anger they just direct it at anyone who shows any weakness or worry. I saw today how dangerous it is, having anonymous people pull other mums apart. I am a person who will just step away, and it will bug me for a few days that those people exist, but I wont fall apart. Some will read the vile abuse thats thrown at them from anonymous, judgemental people, and that may have a lasting and damaging effect on them.

So, the point of this rant? Its like Mean Girls; 'Hands up if you have ever said something nasty about anyone behind their back. Hands up if you have ever had anyone say something nasty about you behind your back.'. Except this isnt behind your back is it? If you have posted something here, and found yourself an hour later in an angry panic desperately defending yourself from the onslaught, then you are not alone. This is horrible site, giving an outlet to horrible people. Looking at responses from some people today, many need to step away from this site. Being told you are a bad Mum/bad person especially if you are trying your best and looking for help, will have a huge affect on anyone.

I am out. Maybe you should be too.

Agree with you OP, I’ve witnessed some horrible threads on this site. A lot of posters dress up their nastiness as directness. The worst ones are when people just keep piling-on - if there are several pages of people flaming a clearly increasingly upset OP, then you don’t really need to keep adding the same horrible comments. Must be awful to be on the receiving end of that.

Having said that, outside of AIBU mumsnet can be wonderfully supportive, informative, witty. Just be a bit selective as to the parts of the site that you participate in.

AIBU can get a bit aggressive but honestly, every time I have had an issue or wanted advice (from Work to S&B to Money Matters to The Litter Tray) MN-ers have been so kind.

What makes me laugh the most is the obviously fake threads started by those desperate for attention and people will LAP it up!

There are a few boards that are somewhat helpful, but some that are utterly toxic (style and beauty is my new favourite vile area to avoid )

MN is more than AIBU. I've had some amazing advice and support here.

I’ve seen many incredibly supportive and helpful posts that may actually have saved posters from harm to their health eg heavy bleeding which turned out to be something sinister when posters urged the OP to go to hospital; look at the woolly hugs thread. Yes, there’s a lot of bile but a lot of love here too. I don’t spend time on any nasty threads. There is a thing called personal agency.

AIBU is pretty awful but then again so are half the threads on it. Otherwise I've found some useful stuff on MN, the pregnancy topics are generally very supportive and useful.

A bit unrelated but some of the relationship stuff I read is totally shocking, I must be so naive as to how many dysfunctional relationships exist. A lot of those threads are where the woman really needs to get a backbone and stop allowing her partner to act like an utter child. Some of those comments are harsh but necessary IMO because the poor woman is clearly in an echo chamber and needs to be told exactly like it is.

I think some parts of this site are an enormous source of support to people in need of advice. I like it.

@AutoIncorrect

The gaslighting and bullying on some sections is quite bad. There’s always some twat piping up to twist the OPs words and try to make them feel crap because they get a kick out of it, but then that’s how some people make themselves feel powerful. It very often speaks volumes about that poster and very little about the one who made the thread. They must lead quite a sad life if bullying people on the internet is how they get their kicks.

So true

Yeah, it can be very nasty indeed, there’s some deeply unhappy people out there trolling! Best to take advice from friends n’ people who know and care about you.

What is Nethuns?

Zombie post