anyone secretly imagining what it would be like when...

[steppemum]

... the kids are all grown up, dh is dead and you just have you, the cat and a little cottage?

I love them all dearly. No, really, I do.

But right now, I keep imagining what it would be like to be retired and in a little cottage with just me and the cat. Well OK, maybe 3 cats.
Few chickens free ranging, with no kids to moan about the poo.
Could be as clean or an untidy as I like. (and let's face it, it will be massively untidy. Until I decie it won't be and then when I clean it up, it will stay clean as long as I want it to)

Watch TV all day if I like, or, here's a thing not providing food 3 times a day, but only eating when I am hungry!
Eat in front of the TV, be really antisocial and not answer the phone to anyone.
No need to be sensible, or give a good role model.
Spread my painting stuff all over a new massive craft table, and not have to clear it up. Or show it to anyone.
Sew if I want to.
Or not. The pile of unfinished projects is between me and the wall and no-one else.
Buy junk furniture and do it up in the middle of the living room.

Just. Me.

Anyone else?

you've inspired me to take my daydreaming to another level, OP!

Mine will be a small apartment (but with tons of room magically to allow for visitors and sleepovers from DGS's. It will be within easy walking distance of a library, lots of lovely shops, and eateries. All of the loved ones will be within easy reach, but NOT living with me.

For years I spent 250+ nights away in hotels or convenience apartments, and I grew to like my own company. Now that I'm home every day, getting my wish of sleeping in my own bed with my own lovely DH, I can imagine a time when that will not be the case (god forbid! but just future planning/dreaming.)

I will eat too much, including toast and cheese and butter and pastry. I shall drink a bit too much, but not to excess. I shall eat and drink and read and watch whatever crap I like. And I shall be alone. and quiet. And enjoy it. Of course, I will have enough money to travel as much as I like, to wherever I like, and that too shall be glorious.

It takes some of the fear away, being able to see a positive in a future living alone. For now, I shall adore my DH and enjoy being together. For I do love him dearly.

Cat - I love my cat, but would have to do the box and the feeding. No more organic chicken cooked just for her, cos I'm vegetarian. So she may also dream of moving away :)

I’d have a nice small TV, not that huge monstrosity that dominates our living room.
I’d live on soup, exotic cheeses and crusty bed.
I’d clear out all the bits and pieces drawers and throw everything away - not keep things because they might be useful one day. And all the boxes, drawers and cupboards full of miscellaneous cables in the skip they would go.

I think DS would have to visit from time to time to open all the jars which I am unable to do. I’d also need to find a dear odd job man to do all the useful stuff DH does - but it would be great to just pay someone rather than having to gently persuade someone my ideas are correct!

This would be cute minus the DH being killed off . Hope it wasn't a suspicious death 😂! Seriously though that's a little bit too far for me, I couldn't imagine that but the rest of the scenario sounds wonderful

Yeah, no, I really wouldn't be cleaning up after or feeding cats and chickens in that fantasy. Fuck no.

Yes! I have my retirement place fully planned in my head; I imagine it at bedtime to help me fall asleep. it’s a chic one-bedroom flat in the centre of a city. No garden, because I hate gardening, but maybe a balcony or a courtyard where I can drink coffee and read the Saturday papers. Very minimal, no clutter and everything in its place. I would never trip over DH’s shoes or find wet towels on the floor. Lots of houseplants, a few carefully chosen bits of mid century furniture. It’s very quiet. I read a lot, and chat to the cat. Heaven.

Crusty bread not crusty bed 🤣🤣

Oh, I'm so glad others do this, I was worried I was weird I used to imagine a break in B and B in the Hebrides (basically Far Away), where I can lie on the bed and look out the window and see birds and have no one need me at all. These days I think about my lovely 1 bed flat for just me, with all my things, and possibly a balcony for plants. My own TV and everything. It would be so fucking great.

That yellow staining from men is just gross. My DH has made a dirty great oily mark on the pale grey upholstered headboard from his bald head. I mentioned it to
My friend and she said, " Ah yes. Head Fat". grim.

This is my fantasy too, it sends me off to sleep at night and generally keeps me sane!

I had to stay overnight in hospital recently and I was properly excited about it. I hoped they might keep me in a bit longer but it all went to plan

I completely understand OP, I love DH and DCs, but I really, really need my own space.

My grandma said the other day aged 81. "I miss the old days, when the men died in their 60s. What good is an 85 year old man that I have to look after".

Head fat why are they so grim?

DH favourite thing at the weekend is to browse rightmove and find some ridiculously sized (and borderline affordable) house usually in the sticks that we could supposedly retire to.(we are not retirement age yet!)
I am way more practical - I want less space because I hate cleaning and there will only be 2 of us, less garden, and nearby neighbours, shops, train station etc

I've got the chickens, rural lifestyle etc at the moment.

That's all going.

I'm going to have a tiny flat here in a city in Australia and a tiny flat in Athens and live between the two. I'm never going to cook again.

Apparently DP will be travelling solo around Australia on his motorcycle so I'll have his life insurance to fund it all once one of the many outback serial killers or rogue emus or kangaroos 🦘 get him.

@Exhausteddog

DH favourite thing at the weekend is to browse rightmove and find some ridiculously sized (and borderline affordable) house usually in the sticks that we could supposedly retire to.(we are not retirement age yet!) I am way more practical - I want less space because I hate cleaning and there will only be 2 of us, less garden, and nearby neighbours, shops, train station etc

Similar here. DH dreams of winning the lottery and looks at rightmove for a massive house in the middle of nowhere, I look for small cottages for 1

Though a lottery win might find the lifestyles we both want - him travelling round Europe with a mansion to comeback to, me in my perfect little cottage, travelling to meet him for the weekend maybe once a month!!

I do this. But i have no money so will have nowhere to live lol

Mine is the fantasy small cottage as everyone has said but on some small greek island with views of the sea, a small village with a local taverna, with possibly a gorgeous hunky greek guy who helps out when needed 😉
I would peruse the local market daily, make delicious food, bake bread, I could drink wine without being judged. I would walk along the coast every day and I would read a lot. I would take my dog with me everywhere.

Occasionally my children could visit. The weather would always be warm, the sunrise beautiful and sunsets glorious..
When can I go?

When things were bad before my ex left I used to soothe myself to sleep every night by mentally going around the house and thinking how each room would be when this was all mine. And now it's just like that! I have lovely bedding, I decluttered and decorated and bought new stuff that I didn't have to negotiate over. And I love it, I will never compromise on how I live again. The only thing that's different from my fantasy life is obviously all down to covid restrictions but when things get back to normal I'll be traveling and having lots of friends and family round - because I can now.

Oh and I won’t go on any more fucking family bike rides. I will give away my bike. I won’t have to listen to any more wittering about bike accessories or Strava segments. My little cottage will be a bike free zone.

Great thread. I'd have a detached place where I could drape scarves over the lamps and have fairy lights wherever I want. I'd have a scruffy dog and a cat. My friends would live close by (but not TOO close) and I'd eat whatever I want whenever I want. Oh, and a little garden with lots of bee friendly plants. I've gone into a trance now..

Last summer, I did actually do this is a tiny way.

the first week that holiday accommodation was open I went and stayed in a caravan in Devon for 4 days. Just me and the dog. In retrospect, I wouldn't have bothered with taking the dog!

4 blissful days of head space.