anyone secretly imagining what it would be like when...

[steppemum]

... the kids are all grown up, dh is dead and you just have you, the cat and a little cottage?

I love them all dearly. No, really, I do.

But right now, I keep imagining what it would be like to be retired and in a little cottage with just me and the cat. Well OK, maybe 3 cats.
Few chickens free ranging, with no kids to moan about the poo.
Could be as clean or an untidy as I like. (and let's face it, it will be massively untidy. Until I decie it won't be and then when I clean it up, it will stay clean as long as I want it to)

Watch TV all day if I like, or, here's a thing not providing food 3 times a day, but only eating when I am hungry!
Eat in front of the TV, be really antisocial and not answer the phone to anyone.
No need to be sensible, or give a good role model.
Spread my painting stuff all over a new massive craft table, and not have to clear it up. Or show it to anyone.
Sew if I want to.
Or not. The pile of unfinished projects is between me and the wall and no-one else.
Buy junk furniture and do it up in the middle of the living room.

Just. Me.

Anyone else?

Does anyone know the poem

When I am old I shall wear purple with a hat that doesn't go....and sit ont he kerb when I am tired, and....

that is how I am feeling

@Reachersloveinterest

I am also planning this although it is 20+ years away and I am actually very fond of DH and don't want him to die! I'll stay in the house I have, but ban all unnecessary technology. Nothing with a winking LED will be allowed, nor will ticking clocks. Several (at least 3) cats, sleeping on all the chairs, sofas and beds. Be allowed control of the TV remote and radio. No more cooking shows on TV, or 'three men partially rebuild an old car' shows either. I'll have a garden filled with a riot of colour that clashes. Paint all the walls different colours, and have loads of throws and cushions in lovely sumptuous jewel colours and textures, and they won't get thrown on the floor or made into forts. And my bedroom will be pretty and white and have crisp white sheets and the duvet will stay tucked in at the foot of the bed. And I won't have to wash bristles out of the bath.

Oh yes! All the bloody technology would be gone, so many blinking lights and Alexa programmed to do everything in this house. DHs retirement hobby is to automate nearly everything - I yearn for the day I can just switch a light on from a switch on the wall - I’ve no fucking idea how to put right it if it goes wrong! I’ve suggested to DH to program in a command for me, so if he got knocked down by a bus, I could just set everything back to manual. I suspect on his deathbed I’ll just be grilling him how to get control of the house again rather saying my loving goodbyes 🤣 Guess I’ll just have to use candles...

[quote AlohaMolly]@BigPaperBag I’ve lived with two men and they both make The Yellow. I don’t get it, but I truly hate it. I lived on my own and had a double bed to myself for just over a year at 27 and the thing I remember most fondly was clean bedding.[/quote]
What is this yellow on the pillow and bed sheets men create?
I have one who does this, he showers everyday but it even sleeps through to the mattress topper. Is it just more oily skin, or sweating at night?

DSis and I have talked for years about the future, when the kids are gone, her DH is no more and we're the mad old ladies who live at the end of the lane, with 17 dogs and the postman won't deliver to.

*sleeps = seeps

I love this thread! It's making me feel good about being eternally single. I'm halfway there on a lot of your dream scenarios, just need to move out of London in the next few years for the whole shebang.

I often dream about moving to a nice accessible flat all by myself. Maybe a managed one for security. City centre but on a quiet street. A few friends around to meet up with. Lots of clubs and social events to join. Hospital, GP and pharmacist close by.

@SilverBirchWithout I have no idea but it gives me the rage. I’ve been pregnant, breast feeding and just generally a postpartum mess in our current bedding/mattress and my side is nowhere near the yuck that DP is.

I have several alternatives I flit between.
Since lockdown though, my thoughts have gone more to living in an alternative intentional community.
I think I'd love the thought of joining in with activities and celebrations with a range of ages, and contributing to the community.
I like the thought of living at least semi off-grid so I would feel a connection to providing my comforts so I could really appreciate them.

I hear you Molly. I’ve got to the point I won’t let him borrow the pillows my side of the bed, and rage if they get muddled up.

Thing is, in non lockdown, some of these scenarios may even have had dh in them

but right now.
I'm building a patio, a large one, there are 3 teens to fit in alongside dh.

@steppemum
I have honestly done this for years and years. My best mate once said to me that it was a bit strange, but none of her retirement plans seemed to feature her dh

I'm there OP but divorced, not widowed I moved abroad and now live with my four cats in a little house by the coast. I have views of the sea, a herb garden and can enjoy watching the sun set over the Med every evening.

This is one of the best threads I've read in ages! I also have a plan for when the buggers have gone. Like many of you it is the rural cottage, cats, hens, WiFi, wine, nice food, pretty bedroom etc. But I want a river at the bottom of my garden where I can watch kingfishers and otters passing through, and no one criticises my photos of them.

I haven't got to this point yet. Possibly because I work full time out of the house

I did this for a week when my kids were smaller.

It. Was. Bliss.

@Libbylove2015

BTW I think these are all much more reasonable fantasies than my own mother's when I was growing up, which was to spend two weeks in hospital over Christmas with a non-life threatening illness!

Many years pre covid , when my 2 oldest were younger this was my fantasy too , or a couple of days in solitary confinement - with books .

*@SilverBirchWithout aghhh the bloody smart sockets give me the rage. And the yellow sheets, what is that all about?!
I get told off daily for turning the wrong lights on and off. Well if you have 6 switches on one, and the do al the lights across three rooms, it's going to be like strobe lights isn't it.

@steppemum

Does anyone know the poem

When I am old I shall wear purple with a hat that doesn't go....and sit ont he kerb when I am tired, and....

that is how I am feeling

I love that poem. How old do I have to be to wear a red hat with my purple DMs?

Me too! Though with a poodle - we'll walk to the local market and pick up fresh fruit/ veg and bread. Eat whatever and whenever I want, read loads and just enjoy the peace and quiet. My grandkids (DDs teenagers still so planning ahead) do feature too sometimes (just the occasion trip, and obviously fun stuff only, no tantrums)

It’s never even occurred to me before...but I know what I’ll be thinking about as I drift off after another day of being ‘needed’ by 5 people!!!

Oh yes. I have this planned in detail. I even know which cottage I want - it’s just up the road so I’ll still be able to see all my friends when I want to. It has low ceilings (Dh hates low ceilings) and a lovely garden which I will fill with roses. I will be out there all day every day, pruning and mulching and pottering in the greenhouse, accompanied by my six rescue cats. I shall also have a large enclosure for rescue bunnies, and one for guinea pigs. Maybe a donkey.

I shall play a-ha during the day and watch Poldark at night, and no one will take the piss.

Hello, my people!

I'll be living it up when DS leaves home. I had him young so he'll be an adult by the time I'm 40. I'm single, I plan to remain that way and spend my 40s living the lifestyle most people live in their 20s.

I love that other people have plans! Anyone else look at rightmove?!!