What weighs more, a human head or...

[SirSamuelVimes]

.... A piece of cheese the size of a human head?

Just wondering really, and I can't think of a moral way to do the experiment.

Do you have access to the cheese?
Do you have access to another person?
Bathroom scales.
Person lies on the floor with their head on the scales. Weigh the head (body weight is supported by the floor).
Then weigh the cheese.
Compare.
We did this in school (not with cheese). A human head is surprisingly heavy.

It all depends on which variety of cheese surely? Cheddar is going to be a lot heavier than the same volume of mozzarella for example.

@LagneyandCasey

It all depends on which variety of cheese surely? Cheddar is going to be a lot heavier than the same volume of mozzarella for example.

Hmm this is true. Also, would your subject be forever known as 'cheddar head' after this experiment or do you have a process in place to mitigate this?

My DH has had the misfortune to pick up several human heads in his day job and he says they weigh about 3 kilos.

@NotSeenBulling

My DH has had the misfortune to pick up several human heads in his day job and he says they weigh about 3 kilos.

Just casually throwing that in there are we?

As a PP has pointed out, Emmental is full of air holes so this needs to be taken into consideration and also, is the head an adult head or a child or teen?

I assume you are asking for a friend when calculating how to dispose of body parts

I would have said the cheese as there's quite a lot of space in a head in the mouth, ears nose and throat.

Cheese is probably similar in density to the brain and maybe even more dense than skin and muscles.

However, googling tells me that the average human head weighs about 5 kilos and the average cheese is around 1100 g per litre. Given that I think that a head is not 5 litres in volume, that means that a head is probably heavier, which seems wrong.

Would need to research further.

google density of human body 1.1 g/ml (assume density of head is same as rest of body)

google density of cheese - get loads of American measurement g/cup and scrap that idea

google density of cheddar cheese 1.073 to 1.078 g/mL

google density of brie - 1.04 g/ml

Therefore cheese will be slightly lighter.

I'm guessing the head based on precisely nothing.

Google tells me that the density of a (slim) human body is 1.1g/ml. I would guess a head is slightly more than this due to the amount of bone.

Google also tells me the density of cheddar 1.07-1.08g/ml

Therefore the cheese will weigh less than the head, if Google is accurate.

@NotSeenBulling

My DH has had the misfortune to pick up several human heads in his day job and he says they weigh about 3 kilos.

Crikey 😳

Mozarella is 1.1 g/ml. So if you want to substitute cheese for a human head, we have a winner!

Just casually throwing that in there are we? [surprisedface]

Yes sorry. Nothing is off limits in our house.

The average human head is about 5kg apparently, and about 57cm in circumference.

A 5kg block of raclette is 68cm in circumference.

Allowing for anomalies it would seem that a block of cheese is roughly the same weight of a human head of comparable size.

I think the head

So we've concluded that cheese is an ethical substitute for a head should we ever need one and that it would be possible to hide human heads we need rid of within consignments of cheese.

Let me know when you’re finished with the cheese would you, I’ll polish that off with some port in one evening I reckon

A human head weighs eight pounds. Fact. It was in Jerry Maguire and therefore must be correct.

@ShirleyPhallus

Let me know when you’re finished with the cheese would you, I’ll polish that off with some port in one evening I reckon

Don't have too much port or you might accidentally start on the human head.

I'm now wondering if all of mumsnet is going to be arrested for aiding and abetting cheese related corpse disposal.

Someone is getting a new patio then...

I love this query. I once asked my biology teacher how long a person would remain conscious after decapitation and they were a bit perturbed (but did leave discussing it with a colleague)!

Next question: at Live Aid 1985, there were 72,000 people in the audience at Wembley. If they all exhaled forcefully at the same time in the direction of the stage, what would be the wind speed of the air that then hit the performers? I may have watched Bohemian Rhapsody last night and thought it looked windy

@user1495884673 anyone for charcuterie?!

Now this is why I love Mumsnet.

Thanks all. I was thinking of a standard cheddar but mozzarella would have a certain satisfaction to it.

Absolutely no idea why it popped into my head. But I did know where to come to ask the question!

@ShirleyPhallus

Let me know when you’re finished with the cheese would you, I’ll polish that off with some port in one evening I reckon

Let me know when you’re finished with the head would you, I’ll polish that off with some nice chianti in one evening I reckon.