Would you let your baby sleep in another room at wedding

[nellly]

Hello all, this is far in the future but you know, it's lockdown, not much else to do but think!

Brother and Sil are getting married next spring (2022) we are expecting our first baby this year who will be 8/9 months at time of wedding.

It's a small wedding in a 14 bedroom country house, only family staying over, sil suggested we can have the room down the hall from the reception space and baby can sleep and we can just keep baby monitor with us.

We obviously don't have kids yet so not sure if this is ok? Or will it work? Would you have felt comfortable with this at that age?

House will be locked and is rural, far from other buildings. Only family staying and baby will be in travel crib approx 20ft down a hall from parents eating and chatting, we're not big drinkers?

No I wouldn't feel comfortable with this I don't think.

In this situation DH and I would take turns staying in the room with the sleeping baby, and then all stay in there together.

Of one of us would agree the other could have a few drinks and stay in the spare room themselves and the other stay with the baby.

We did this. It was absolutely fine, although at one point we both thought the other was watching the baby monitor when it fact it was sitting on the bar, unobserved . Not our finest parenting moment, but no harm done. Dd was a very good sleeper though, who never woke up before about 3am, so we were pretty relaxed about it. If you’ve got one that wakes up more randomly you’d have to be a bit more careful.

Nope, sorry. Would not get too bogged down in routine but would go to the room when they go to sleep. Around 9-10pm is about as late as I have managed in similar situation.

In other weddings, to find a happy medium, we had my DM come and pick baby up and take her home whilst we stayed for the evening part of the reception. Could someone from DP’s family do the same for you?

Reading @VenusClapTrap reply has made me realise that I maybe feel differently because DD wasn't a good sleeper that age or now at 3

We'd have been forever backwards and forwards to settle her as she wouldn't have settled in a strange room without us - she slept in our room at home until she was almost a year old 🤷‍♀️ a strange environment was just a catastrophe waiting to happen.

Country house hotel with staff? Nope I wouldn’t feel comfortable with that.

I see no problem with this at all and I would have felt completely comfortable doing this with both of mine.

Don't see any problem with this, especially at that age. What is your concern with the arrangement? Being in an unfamiliar environment for baby or not being in the same room?

So is it like a small hotel or just a big house?

At this age mine were waking up so frequently I wouldn't have been able to join the party I'm afraid

Are there staff at the place? I would guess so and even if the door was locked i wouldn’t be comfortable with people having access to a room my baby was in.
I don’t think you can know for definite until you see the place but I wouldn’t worry too much about baby sleeping in another room. My baby was 11 months at my wedding and we put the hood down on the pram and walked her in the quietish corridors to get her to sleep then she slept in the pram the rest of the evening. She went to sleep a bit later than normal but as a one off it didn’t matter. We did similar at a family party when she was 6 months and on the odd occasion did that for other things.

Went to a family celebration in a country hotel when ds1 was a similar age. We kept him at dinner with us until he was tired and then dh and I took turns to stay in our room with him. Never entered our heads to do otherwise.

We did this at my brother’s wedding- I can’t say I relaxed much, but it was fine for short bursts. Most of the time we just took turns.

No, I wouldn't

At my own wedding ds snoozed in a room (in his buggy - 11 months) full of loud people until 9pm when a sitter took him home!

Mine would have just slept in his pram in the party room with us.

He was a nicu baby used to loads of noise so slept through many a party / cinema visit etc.

It depends on the baby but doing shifts could work.

I don't understand people's issue with this. Yes there will be staff but in the nightly unlikely event that one of them decides to try and kidnap the baby the parents will be able to hear what is happening via the baby monitor.

It's a large country house, catering team will be there to serve evening meal and then leave so will just be us. Door locks if that's what we want to do.

It's very rural so couldn't have dh family do a pick up unless we leave the baby completely with them, not sure if we'll be ready for that.

To be clear they are absolutely not groom/bridezilla and won't give us any grief whatever we decide to do! And my mum/dad/sister would probably do a stint sitting in with sleeping baby.

It's just hard to know in advance when you don't have a baby lol I guess a lot depends on how they sleep!

Is there a reason you can’t just keep the baby with you rather than putting them down in a room

We attended a few weddings when DD was around that age and she just spent in the evening at the reception with us - one night away from routine will be fine, you’ll be more relaxed if the baby is with you than in a different room and keeping watch over a baby monitor.

20 feet away? That's the length of my living room!

I'd have no problem with that at all. In some houses that's how far away a baby's room would be from its parents in the evening anyway.

It’s worth a go. If you get there and it feels ‘wrong’ or if the baby won’t sleep then you/H can sit in there with it. Or your OH goes to bed early with it.

Honestly we probably could keep baby with us it's a very low key affair they're not big party people sil just commented the other day in a very well meaning way "well put you in the room down the hall so you can leave baby with the monitor" and honestly until that moment I hadn't really considered what would happen and it got me thinking

A friend of mine did this in pretty much identical circumstances, it was fine. They took it in turns popping back to check in (the room was just down the hall from the wedding party, so they went pretty regularly to stick their head in). They had a good sleeper though.

Thanks all I'm sure we'll just go with how we feel just couldn't decide if I was way off base even considering it!

A locked door also would worry me/
Yes I’m sure it would be fine but even so I wouldn’t. I think you either have the baby at the party- some just sleep regardless of noise- or you and your partner take shifts.
You don’t actually need to decided beforehand do you?