Older kids just showed DD(8) indecent picture. What to say to her?

[NotWithMyShoes]

DD (8) was playing in the garden with our neighbours daughters (6&4). They were sat at the end of the garden on a rock messing around when some teenage boys walked past on their way home from playing football (we live right next to the park, road goes past end of the garden). I saw them walk past and say something to the girls, then one turned back and held out his phone for them to see. The 4 year old started laughing, she and her sister walked down the edge of the neighbouring house talking to them, DD hung back. Then all the kids ran back along the side of the house.

I asked her if she knew the kids, she said yes. I asked who they were and she said she didn't know them. I asked what they'd shown her on the phone and she said a picture of a man with a naked willy.

FGS why??? Why do teenagers need to show this stuff to young girls? What do I say to her?

Do you know who they are? I would report that to the police tbh.

I would call the police. That’s a crime.

I know who the younger kid who was with them was, he's in DS's class. DS says that he has an older brother, so I'm guessing one of the kids was him. If that's the case, I have the parents phone number.

Teenagers don’t usually do stuff like this, it’s weird. I have and work with teenagers. It’s very odd behaviour, do you know them?

I wouldn’t make it too big a deal. Tell her that they’re silly and to always tell you if anything like that happens again and that it’s not her fault... but inside I would be fuming, it’s a major safeguarding concern.

Don't deal with the parents. Call the police and let them deal with it.

You need to report it to the police. Definitely don't speak to their parents.

I wouldn't waste time with the parents. Straight to the police. This is a crime, fgs.

And yes, call the police.

Yep, call the cops. Let them deal with it. Hopefully itll put the fear of god into the little shits and they'll be mortified.
I wouldn't bother with the parents.

Call the police

I’d report that to the police tbh. They won’t get into enough trouble that it’ll ‘stay on their record’ but it’ll hopefully scare the shit out of them enough that they won’t do anything as stupid again.

I have a 17 y/o son and I’d want to know if he was doing shit like this, his feet wouldn’t touch the fucking ground if I found out.

I would definitely report that to the police. If it was an adult it would be a very serious incident indeed. As it is, if they can be identified, they need a very firm talking to.

Yes, but right now, what do I say to DD! That they’re silly, they shouldn’t have showed it to her. Tell me if anything like that happens again... does she have any questions 😱

Another vote for getting the police involved.

Report, please. Do that before you do anything about talking to your DD. It’s a safeguarding concern if you know the younger brother and going to the parents is not appropriate in that situation. Call NSPCC if you would like this course of action independently confirmed.

I think you probably do need to mention it to the parents of the 4 and 6 year olds who were also exposed to it.

Have they done any ‘staying safe online’ stuff via school? If so I’d start there with your DD - that there are pictures on the internet that aren’t appropriate for children and this was one of them. And that she did the right thing telling you.

I would tell her it is not allowed for children to share or send rude pictures to each other and people can get in trouble with the police for this. Firstly, this is something worth introducing to children before it becomes a potential issue as secondly, it's the truth.

I would ask her how she felt about it, sympathise with her first.

You tell her they shouldn’t have done that, it’s very naughty, you have to let the police know, the police may want to chat to her about it but she’s done absolutely nothing wrong and has nothing to worry about, and then at a later date a general NSPCC pants chat.

I wouldn't say 'silly' to her. That downplays it too much in my opinion.

I’d discuss private parts with her and revisit the NSPCC pants video. Explain it’s never ok to be shown private parts either in person or as a photo/on a screen.
Ask her how she feels about it and how what the boys did was wrong.
And then report to the police.

Tell her the facts. It’s a crime. Report it to the police and do not give the parents or the kids a heads up - this is sexual assault of a minor. Tell your daughter the same in child friendly language.

Eg the boys who showed you the picture was wrong to do so - we don’t show pictures of naked people to children. It’s a crime and it’s not right. Mummy is going / has reported it so that other children don’t have to see it. How are you feeling? Don’t worry you didn’t do anything wrong etc ?

Please report though on 999 showing pornography to a young child is abuse.

Yes, report to the police.
As far as your dd is concerned, just tell her they were being naughty, and that if anyone tries to show her pictures again to tell mummy, just like shes done today.
CEOP website may be useful here too. here’s a link to one of their pages.
www.thinkuknow.co.uk/parents/jessie-and-friends/

Yes just tell her phew I'm glad you told me, that's really not ok that they showed you that and I am worried about why they have pictures like that. You have done really well and don't need to worry about it at all. I will talk to some other adults about how to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone again.

That is sexual assault. It's sexually motivated, and it involves a child. It's a serious crime and not just a case of teenagers messing about.

Definitely police. Don’t contact the parents at all. Don’t give them chance to wipe the photo, etc.

Just tell dd they were being a bit silly.

And yes, tell her she was right to tell you and that she should always tell you about anything similar. Maybe saying they were naughty might be better....does “silly” downplay it too much? That she might think it’s kind of ok?