Cheer me up with your worst colleague stories please...

[whatsnewpussycat777]

My colleague and I are irritating each other at the moment, however nothing sinister. Thank God.

Had one previous colleague who was the laziest person on the planet ... and got away with it.....That partly nailed my leaving that particular job to be honest.

Had a part time job in a shop when I left school that turned into full time when I finished college. Loved it. Pure manager left and they brought in someone new and younger. She systematically pushed out any staff members that she didn't like. Was horrible seeing some of my fave colleagues leave after they'd been with the company for 20+ years.
She was also a smoker - nothing against them, I also smoked occasionally - but they were allowed to take extra breaks for smoking; leaving the shop floor/tills understaffed as they went out for cigarettes together. She also then employed a friend; who it became apparent was spying on us for her. She would report back anything and everything we said during the day and then give us verbal warnings about it in front of everyone.
Once; I was left in charge of my department and misplaced a set of keys for the stockroom. Noone could have done anything with them; they were for a separate room out there. Anyway; she took them and watched as I franticly looked everywhere for them. Panic growing all day till the end of my shift until she finally came over and said; lost something?! I was soo relieved until she threatened to sack me.
There were lots of other little things that are the job so stressful. You couldn't talk or puy a foot out of line. I dreaded going to the job I had loved for 3 years. My stomach would be in knotts every morning. Eventually; after another horrendous telling off for saying something that she had actually missheard; I handed in my notice. She was actually shocked. And I was glad that she found it difficult to replace me.
A few months later; the whole chain went bankrupt and closed. I really hope she had a hard time getting another job but that sort always seem to land on their feet, don't they.

@Alexandernevermind

Ooh, just thought of another good one. A man at a company I worked with got caught washing his dick in the sink

That's funny

I remember another. Started a Saturday job at a shoe shop (Peter Lord, if anyone remembers them ). Was warned by colleagues that the boss had a habit of tucking in the shirts of younger female staff "to keep their appearance tidy"

I worked for a lettings agent organising repairs to the properties. At Christmas, all the tradesmen handed in gifts of chocolates and wine for me. These were set aside on a table to be shared out among everyone, fair enough, there were only six of us plus two bosses. But on the run up to Christmas, the two bosses helped themselves numerous times to bottles of wine so that, in the end, all I got was one bottle of wine and a box of Matchmakers. I reckon the bosses had taken at least 8 bottles each.

A library I worked at had a tradition on Christmas Eve of the bosses looking after the library while everyone else had a long lunch in the pub. No one told me about this so I had planned some last minute shopping during my lunch. That morning, another member of staff was sent to cover a different library on the other side of the city, where she lived. Another member of staff had a go at me saying I should have gone since I wasn't joining them for lunch, even though I lived close to the first library, ignoring the fact I wasn't going to lunch because I knew nothing about it. I had received a promotion before going to work in that library, a promotion that one of the other assistants there had applied for, but I got it instead. Don't think they ever forgave me for that.

Some of these

I had a nice part time job in an office many years ago that I quite enjoyed. Older colleague left and was replaced by fresh faced young thing straight from college and keen to impress. Felt a bit sorry for her as apparently she’d been bullied at school for being pretty. She was pretty, she’d done a bit of modelling. Tried to be nice to her.

She got promoted to office manager, as she was full time and I wasn’t. Really started throwing her weight around, reducing my workload, leaving me all the boring jobs. The final straw was when I arrived one day to find she’d emptied my desk because she wanted to sit there. When I quite rightly asked her what the hell she was playing at, she simpered at me ‘is this because I’m younger than you?’

They waited until I went off to get married and go on my honeymoon before informing me that I’d been made redundant. I wish they’d told me before I left, would have cheered up my holiday no end.

Large multinational company, new HR manager joined. Both myself and my DH worked for the company and both on middle management roles which in this company if you worked well you would be promoted. First week in the ‘getting to know you’ meetings she had already asked my DH if he planned to have children ( ie she couldn’t ask me for fear of discrimination but she could ask him🤔 ).

Same woman was apparently having marriage difficulties ( she was a friend of a friend ) She told her friend she had drawn up a ‘shortlist’ of men in her new company who would ‘suit’ as her next partner. All of these men were senior managers and almost all were married. Fast forward about a year and she had indeed started a relationship with one of them, left her DH and DC, he in turn left his wife and child too. They were later married. It was all just so calculating.

She refused to DBS check someone who worked for us seasonally as he was “her friend so it looked bad if she had to ask him”.

She lied to us for years that she had done it. She did DBS other people so we believed her.

Man went on trial as a paedophile. Colleague decided not to tell us.

I found out because paedo man phoned her at work, trying to coerce her into making a character reference.

Once found guilty, she hid in the office so me and another colleague had to deal with him coming back with a van to collect all his stuff. (Pre sentencing).

@Hen2018

Certainty some omg 😲

The married manager in his fifties with children who used to give me a lift to work when I was in my twenties and then one day out of the blue stopped the car on the way to work and said "i know you want this as much as i do" and leaned in for a kiss...no no I really didn't. I got public transport after that.