Cheer me up with your worst colleague stories please...

[whatsnewpussycat777]

My colleague and I are irritating each other at the moment, however nothing sinister. Thank God.

Had one previous colleague who was the laziest person on the planet ... and got away with it.....That partly nailed my leaving that particular job to be honest.

Oh, I also worked with a woman who kept pet axolotyls.

When they were sick she would bring them to the office in an icecream bucket, to keep an eye on them.

One day she plonked one on the photocopier glass and started running off copies. When challenged, she told us he liked it.

@TheOrigRights

I used to collaborate with a senior academic. Another colleague subsequently told me that this chap was in prison for pushing his mother down the stairs in order to claim his inheritance.

It was in the news, but in another country so our team spent a few hours trying to translate the articles.

Scientist in France? In about 2009? I reckon we have former colleagues in common if so!

Senior manager was known prolific cheat and seemed to have a OW on each floor of the building. His wife was also a senior manager & his mistress was a line manager. Plus his various ows had assorted roles in the company. It got a bit tricky at times especially when a new woman joined!

Forgot another one. Was a junior policy wonk and was asked to prepare a policy brief. My manager’s manager had it retyped with her name on it - not a word was changed, otherwise - submitted it up the line and received all the plaudits.

Thought of another one. I worked with an idiot in Spain who was apparently very good at his job, but said ridiculous things.

(To me) "You're English, aren't you? What's the dialling code for Ireland?"

(To a colleague who had lost his right arm in an accident) "Does that count as a disability?"

(In front of various female colleagues) "Women can't look professional with curly hair."

I would occasionally start to feel sorry for him because no one could stand him, but then he'd come out with another one of his pearls...

In my first job I was moved around different departments and at one stage was in an office for a while, a small room where someone from outside used to come in to do some paperwork, ie not a staff member.

He was a little elderly man, very ‘correctly’ dressed in suit, overcoat and hat…but it was summer and it was quickly apparent that he just never took those clothes off to wash them - or himself. At all. It was like someone medieval who’d been sewn into their clothes. The small was literally sickening and those of us who had to be in the room with him were almost retching.

We politely didn’t say anything to his face but in the end just had to plead with the HR person, who looked furtive and said they’d ‘speak to him’, but gave the impression this wasn’t the first time. We felt bad because he was elderly and probably depended on that job, and his circumstances may well have been tragic, but it was truly horrendous. There wasn’t any improvement and after a while he didn’t reappear. The whole room was permeated with the smell for ages ☹️

@ChairOfInvisibleStudies

"Scientist in France? In about 2009? I reckon we have former colleagues in common if so!"

That sounds right, yes. I'm not going to try and work out who you are. Can you do the same? Then we can keep our MN anonymity.

[quote TheOrigRights]@ChairOfInvisibleStudies

"Scientist in France? In about 2009? I reckon we have former colleagues in common if so!"

That sounds right, yes. I'm not going to try and work out who you are. Can you do the same? Then we can keep our MN anonymity.[/quote]
Absolutely no idea who you are and definitely not going to try and figure it out, don't worry.

Had a young chap start with us. He wasn't a fan of "authority" or being told what to do as it turned out, frequently showing disapproval when asked to do anything etc.
A couple weeks after starting he made some inappropriate and unpleasant comments when arguing with a colleague. Called to the line managers office for a reprimand, he ended up spitting in her face and walking out.

Some of these are unbelievable!

Was bullied many years ago at work by two people .. both women …
The worst thing is .. one of them is on fb … she is in an open group page … and she shows a side of being such a kind lovely person … and then her mask slips and her address to people she engages with and does voluntary work for … ( organising events ) gets nasty ( her post was deleted too ) because they didn’t go to the annual general meeting for example …. …. This woman belittled me .. mocked me … ganged up on me for 3 and half years .. it was before bullying was taken seriously in work place. The other woman I saw when i visited town that I worked in for a leisure shop … I stopped in my tracks and became very anxious .. telling my husband “ get me out of here now ….”
I felt embarrassed by my reaction .. I was a shy young woman .. and was made to feel like a freak for this by them both .. I wish to move on and I’ve considered counselling … I feel sick when I see so many on this open page praising her up .. saying how kind she is etc …my husband is often in charge of offices down the years .. any bullying suspected, he won’t accept … and has challenged people over the years .. even though he did not know me at the time of my experience with test colleagues. Sorry a bit of an essay but needed to share

I was doing really well in a job, absolutely flying, got on great with everyone, very successful and working on interesting projects. Colleague just didn’t seem to gel with the role and the team, perhaps not the right job for her. She became bitter to my success and although we always seemed to get on (I was determined not to fall out with her like everyone else so was very careful on and over and above kind / supportive). When she left she made a massive fuss of not wanting to do any kind of handover with me, I had no idea why, turns out she told the head of my division that I had been verbally abusing her for two years! I was mortified! Couldn’t have been further from the truth. I felt like it cast a big nasty shadow of doubt over me and god knows what other stories she’s told people.
I have blocked her from all social media, absolutely disgusted with her, such a covetous cow!

I worked in the same office as a bloke who was a mouthy womaniser who was eventually fired for running his own business from his desk. Later on I believe he tried to murder his wife and went to prison for it.

Last job. Husband and wife running very small business. Every time wife did something he didn’t like she told him I’d done it. Ever time I asked her a question I was told to ask him and vice versa. Meant they managed to avoid answering trivial questions like why I wasn’t being paid for working on bank holidays or being docked an hour each day for a lunch break when they’d made it quite clear that I had to stay at my desk and cover phones while they had their break. All ended in tears, literally

A manager of mine had a favourite jacket when he was in a particularly difficult mood. When I joined the team his pa told me, run for the hilla if he wears his green jacket. A couple of days later, he had it on, and I witnessed his behaviour first hand. His pa used to come out in hives because of him.

He eventually took me on. I asked him for a file that wasn't in the filing cabinet. He told me to put it on his desk when I'd finished, but his desk was about 1ft high in other files and documents, so I couldn't see where to put it. All files had brown outers so it wasn't like you could distinguish it from anything else unless you read the label, so I put in the filing cabinet - figured he could ask me or his pa for it. A few weeks later, he gas a senior guy from another business in whp I knew and wearingbhis green hacket he barrels out of his office and tears into me about the file. I told him why it wasn't on his desk and got it gir him. He snatched up off me. The offices were all heads the guy I knew was so shocked. When I next saw him he spoke to me about it. A month later he said I wasn't doing my job so I appealed. HR and my director supported me. The HR director took up office next to him to see eat was going on. After a few weeks he told me I was nit doing anything to create the van atmosphere and in fact was being professional yo a t. Within a month he was removed from the business. After about 2 years, I took his job. I had a good reputation in the business, senior managers made it easy for me to avoid being in the office. One had me on a project I'd instigated that won project of the year, and 28 of us went to Amsterdam for the weekend - fully expensed. That project paid back in 6 months and saved the company millions.
The problem with twits is that they just don't learn. It took him ages to get another senior job. He was demoted in successive reorganisations, and I met done of his team, who clearly disliked him. Yet his demise, he blamed on me.

Years ago, left the work Xmas party on a Fri nite in city centre with one of my team to head home, rounded a corner and noticed a colleague (a fairly unlikable one who had riled up a number of people during the course of the evening) assaulting some random girl and pinning her against a wall. In the course of dragging him off her, we got into a barney and it ended up with him on his back on the ground after I punched him. Monday morning was undoubtedly very awkward for him but I was just glad my team member was there as a witness as the other prat would probably have lied through his teeth and blamed me for a random assault.

I had a colleague that literally did no work. Ever. It went unnoticed for so long as when she was given work, she would pass it on for others. She would turn her screens off and say her computer wasn’t working.

She’d also take large amount of birthday treats that people left out on their birthdays and use them across the month, for example one day she’d get 1 biscuit out and eat it with her sandwich for lunch. The next day she’d have a French fancy and so on.

My worst work colleague was Jimmy Savile. I was a temp for one of the consultants at Stoke Mandeville spinal unit. He was obnoxious. He asked me to go to dinner with him and, when I politely declined as a married woman, he put his face ready close to mine and whispered nastily to me that my life would never amount to anything because I didn’t take opportunities. I couldn’t report him because it was the eighties, nobody would believe me and after all, he was Jimmy Savile. I managed to avoid him after that.

Jesus, you win.

I worked for a fairly big company as one of several PAs in my department. One of them was the laziest person I’ve ever met in my life. Constantly complaining about how she was so busy, would take days/weeks to reply to email us because she just didn’t have time, but she sat behind me for a while and any time I turned around she’d be online clothed shopping etc. I once ended up taking on a task for her because she was “so busy” she didn’t have time. I had to stay late to finish it (as she’d left it to the last minute to declare she couldn’t manage it by deadline) and was livid when I saw her packing up and leaving her desk bang on 5:30pm.

We ended up having words because I chased her up for something and she said she hadn’t gotten around to it due to being “so busy”, but seemed a bit miffed when I pointed out she’d had time to gossip with her mate for 20 minutes mid afternoon, and the thing if asked her to do (which was to simply look in someone’s diary and see if they were free for a meeting) would have taken a lot less time!

She always got away with it as whenever she did work for anyone senior she turned it around quickly so they couldn’t see any issues.

I used to have a colleague that was late for every meeting, saying she had wi-fi issues. She used to fill her diary with meetings so she always looked busy, but no one really knew what she did. She was an intense bully to anyone who disagreed with her or challenged her. When the team had new ideas her response was always "oh we tried that when I was in x department, but it didnt work." Or she used to take credit for work that other people had written. I heard she went to a conference with work and got shit faced drunk, and started swearing at people. She was a bloody nightmare to work with! Still there though I think, chugging along in her silo of bullshit and getting paid lots of tax payers cash (local authority.)

I once worked for a man who seemed to think it was his mission in life to make anyone in his team cry. Men and women. I know this because when I arrived everyone told me ‘oh don’t mind when ‘he’ goes off at you. He wants to make you cry. Once you do he leaves you alone.’
He spent the 6m of my management training placement there trying his goddam hardest and when he didn’t succeed he then tried to black-mark me to the HR department for something that hadn’t happened. He once kicked a bin across the room AT someone, in anger and hit the door of the director on that floor. Director came out to see what had happened and when he found out he laughed and rolled his eyes as if to say ‘ohhhh him… of course… how funny!’. I can’t even think what would happen if some woman behaved like that.
I stayed friends with a few people who worked in that team and over the years they said he alienated everyone and he opened his own agency and didn’t have any clients because he was such a dick to everyone.
Every time I think of him I remember how I used to cry all the way home (a 1h drive) having bottled it up all day and then steel myself the next morning to take the abuse.

I used to run a clinic in a busy hospital, had to liaise with consultants, there was one who not speak to me but insisted that I ask a nurse to tell him I needed to speak to him about one of our patients - no reason,he just thought he was too important to be spoken to directly by someone as insignificant as a counsellor

Early in my career I worked in IT in a brewery and was bullied by HR. I was young (and you know, a bit nerdy) and I didn't know what to do.
The HR person had taken a dislike to me. As a new grad hire I was entitled to a bridging loan as I had moved house to take the job. It was in my contract but HR did not want to let me have the loan.
I went with my dad to a solicitors who asked them to apply the terms of my contract and so I did get the loan but the solicitor complained to me about how rudely HR had spoken to him!
I was called in to the HR office and told off for asking for the advantages that were written in my contract, and was told I was going to make them "get cross in a minute".
It completely spoiled the job for me and I decided to leave, I paid back the money, and my LM was so fed up with her.
I still regret leaving my immediate colleagues and the career I would have had there but I couldn't work in the same building as this HR person any more.

@crystalcherry87

Worst person I worked with was someone who was just really nasty. Never smiled, talked about people behind their backs and publicly humiliated the staff members by " having a word" with them in front of everyone. Whenever she was off sick it was like the place felt lighter and everyone was happier and worked better. We were all on egg shells around her, it was horrible being around her. She was suspended for bullying but got away with it and continued to be a twat.

I have one of these, put up with it for years then broke down at work the other day after another dressing down - she's so angry and vindictive.

I don't have any hard evidence - she usually does these things when there is no audience - sometimes just nasty digs and undermining, or full on aggressive ranting from time to time and often its out of the blue and I'm so shocked I can barely talk. I did tell her the impact its having on me though.

Manager is aware - we are going to have a meeting all 3 of us to resolve things going forward. Knowing colleague's character after many years working alongside I'd call that a long shot. She's got more bitter as time's gone on and I'm a convenient dog to kick in passing.

I am fed up of doing stiff upper lip. No-one deserves this shit at work or anywhere!