Trapped toddler parents: puddlesuits splashing towards spring

[WeSearchedHereWeSearchedThere]

All guardians of toddlers welcome, we offer ideas, activities, and a shoulder to lean on when it all gets too much. We’ve conquered winter, next stop spring!

Continuing from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4105179-trapped-toddler-parents-of-the-fabled-winter-2020-2021-puddle-suits-at-the-ready-hello-christmas?pg=1

[quote Chocolatetrifle]@PinkDaydreams, yes the set I've got there's definitely more dolphins, whales, starfish, sharks etc than fish.[/quote]
I think I will buy that set you've recommended as it looks nice quality and gets good reviews thank you I'm going to try find a fish set as well as he loves fish!

Thanks for the sea animals suggestion, we are currently giving them- and the rest of my dining room - a swim in some glittery water. Should have done this outside!

FYI Amazon have a deal for 2 for £7 on books at the moment

I am a chicken in DS's game today. This involves me lying on the sofa while he puts toy eggs under me and then they hatch. Best game ever

@Motherofmonsters I will be playing that this afternoon 😂 we are in the park, DS has found a lad he was playing with the other week and they’re having a fab time.DD is fast asleep and I have a flask of coffee.

@MonkeyPuddle sounds like you have this 2 children thing sussed.

I think I'm going to have to see a doctor about PND.

@OhToBeASeahorse honey I’ve not got anything sussed. Both kids cried when we left the park.
But make that phone call to the GP, definitely have a conversation with them. I had PND after having DS and took antidepressants for around 8 months and they were life changing, for the better. Talk to us, you know we won’t judge x

I haven't been on here for ages. DS2 is now going to nursery until 2.30pm every day! Although he gets a bit cross that I'm not there straight after lunch any more. The other night when I put him to bed he very solemnly told me "Mummy. I sit at Kita and you didn't come." So we are emphasising the routine, he eats g lunch, then it's Story time, then he plays and THEN mummy will come.

However he always falls asleep on the way home and I'm getting nursing aversion at bedtime so that's not going as well. Tbh I wish I could just switch him to morning sessions and only pay for mornings as its not like we need the full time place.

@OhToBeASeahorse, I contacted my GP last year after suffering awful PMT which just got worse after having DS2, I was struggling so much with the lack of sleep plus the responsibility of two on a daily basis I thought I had PND too. The GP was totally understanding. There are options out there and they can really help. I took one option (combined pill ) to even out my hormones but they have given me awful headaches so I have stopped them. I may soon go back to discuss more options I'm just seeing how I get on.

Some days I feel like I'm winning and then others are so hard!

I've come to realise I need to help myself and make sure I feel as good as I can to be able to look after both DS as well as I can, if that makes sense, although most nights I collapse into bed as a burnt out version of my former self. I'm so over the night time get ups.

Definitely speak to your Dr if you think you need to. Sometimes the hardest thing is just making contact. Our GP surgery has an electronic form you can fill in and then they will forward to a Dr.

Perhaps your GP surgery might have one of those, its a bit easier to get it off your chest initially written down.

Do you have a support bubble/childcare bubble? Can someone give you a couple of hours on your own? Sorry if that is TMI about me, just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4213461-Im-so-overwhelmed

Thanks everyone. This is basically me at the moment.

Unmumsnetty hugs @OhToBeASeahorse

@OhToBeASeahorse, sorry to hear you are struggling atm and your parents are both in hospital.

Could your DH sit with your DD for half an hour tonight while you get a bath and a cuppa once DS is in bed?

Could your DS go back to your old childminder for the time being? Perhaps you could then speak to your employer about changing hours so you can pick up and drop off from her when you go back to work.

Definitely have a chat to your Gp about how you are feeling, it sounds like they were not supportive last time. If you feel better then everything will seem more manageable.

I FF both so don't feel I am able to comment on your breastfeeding but please don't feel you have to to 18 months just because you did with your first, you are in a totally different situation now, you have 2 little ones now and the demands on you and your time have doubled.

Hope you feel better soon, take one day at a time, or even half a day at a time x

@OhToBeASeahorse I read your other thread, didn't want to read and run. Just to echo what @Chocolatetrifle has said really, some good advice she's given there.
Don't feel pressured in any way.
It frustrates me when gp's don't listen, the amount of times when my ds was little that I was ignored and fobbed off was so frustrating. Get a second opinion and don't be afraid to tell the gp what you want and be firm with telling them how you're feeling.
Also, keep speaking out on here, I found this site so helpful, this thread more so recently as I feel I can sound off or ask advice and that also I'm not the only one experiencing the same issues, there are others going through the same. You lot on here don't judge and I'm so grateful for that.
Thank you so much to all of you on here by the way

@ohtobeaseahorse, I'm so sorry your struggling at the moment. I can't add to the lovely advice youve had here but your not alone.

I've had a terrifying thing happen today, I complete lost DS. We went to a local gardens that have opened up and the have a big play area and it was really busy. I was waiting for DS to come down the slide and he didn't. When I went to check (it's a massive wooden structure) he wasn't there. I started walking around trying to find him and found a woman holding him, he had completely left the playground and started walking down a trail before he sat on the floor crying. She worked out we were at the park. I don't know how.it happened I was waiting for him, my sister was sat somewhere else looking at the slide and my BIL was on the other side with DD. None of us saw him

Ah thank you everyone, I so appreciate the words of wisdom and support. I was just saying to DH how helpful this thread has been - the tuff tray gets used every day and I'd never have bought one before.

I'll see how I am over the next few days and then contact my GP again. I've done CBT in the past but 2bh I don't think it would help in this situation. I just feel so angry suddenly and suffocated.

The sun is shining here and we went to the park and didnt come back til 5.30 - I'd put dinner on before we left so it was really nice to be out later. How was everyone else's day?

@Motherofmonsters oh that sounds awful, I'm sorry. Its frighteningly easy to lose them.

@OhToBeASeahorse I haven't been here for ages but I read everyday snd your post is heartbreaking. But you do know it'll get better. Even the shittiest of things get less shit in time.

@Motherofmonsters shudder. That's terrifying and you need to rest after the shock and drink wine or something. I had to ring 999 once as I lost my toddler. The shock was intense for a few hours.

Now, as for me I came on to say I think we've turned a corner. My toddler seems to be back to her lovely self. It's taken 12 weeks of a newborn but things are settled. Woohooo.

Re: sea creatures apparently Argos do a good set and it's in a range of 2 for £15.

I also wanted to say that anyone here who's child likes trains and I know there's a few, these books in the picture are lovely. We've had a set given to us and the illustrations are really interesting and detailed. They are called the little red train. Well worth considering

@OhToBeASeahorse, hope you are feeling a bit better. Agree that for CBT to work you need to be in the right mindset to begin with. You are feeling angry and frustrated because you are completely worn down and exhausted. Hope you get some sleep tonight. It's like you are running on empty everyday. I think a lot of us feel like that somedays. Just a thought but is Dd teething? Around 6 months with my DS2 last year I used to use those teething powders/granuals (Nelsons I think ) and they helped a lot.

@Motherofmonsters, gosh that sounds truly terrifying. Thank goodness all is ok. Hope you feel ok now?

Nothing too exciting here today but we have had some success with;

1. Crayola mess free colouring, the Toy

Story pack.

1. Beanbags, hoops and cones, they are called carnival sets, can be used indoor and out. Just have to ensure your oldest DS does not bang younger DS on head with the hoops as happened here.

DS2 ate the inside of a tea bag today, so he's making me a cuppa in the night I told him [wink.]

@OhToBeASeahorse I’m so sorry you’re going through so much, it’s no wonder you’re feeling overwhelmed. I think going to the GP is a very good idea. Would you like any more info/advice on milk allergies? Both of mine have had CMPA, so I’m happy to talk breastfeeding, formula, weaning, etc.

I’m really struggling with finding good childcare too. DS was at an amazing nursery, then we moved house and he’s now at an ok preschool. He loves it there, but I’m just not really sure I’m happy with it. And I can’t find anywhere for the baby to go when I go back to work - turns out there is one nursery and one childminder who are miles better than anyone else, but I’d have had to have put my name down while pregnant to get in... I’m seriously looking at not going back to work due to lack of good childcare, and I’m feeling very frustrated about being forced in to that decision.

It sounds like there's a huge gap in the market for fantastic childcare out there. Maybe there's an opening for anyone who wants a change of path.

Sorry your struggling to find childcare wesearched it sounds incredibly frustrating.

This morning has mostly been me stopping DD from climbing from the TV stand to the sofa and then onto the windowsill when my back is turned. I don't know how she got so speedy. DS has gone into full lounge mode, he's still very tired from yesterday. Not sure what to do this afternoon, I'm all out of motivation for a minute

@OhToBeASeahorse sorry to hear you are struggling

@motherofmonsters how scary for you! Thank goodness he found a nice lady who realised he'd escaped the park. I lost DS1 in a hypermarket once, the first I realised he was lost was a lady bringing him back to me (I thought mum had him, mum thought I had him. I'm very careful now!)

@footprintsintheslow funnily enough DBros girlfriend semi-seriously suggested we start up our own nursery yesterday. If we do you can have mates rates. (I told her now I have small DC of my own, I need a break at work from them! Maybe when the boys are teenagers that no longer want hugs)

DS2 is settling in well at nursery, he's going to try having a nap there today. DS1 and DH are going to the supermarket in a minute so I can sneakily bake DS1s birthday cake for tomorrow.

@WeSearchedHereWeSearchedThere I'm in exactly the same boat, I really dont want to give up work but feeling like I have limited choices. Plus I'm a teacher so need to decide in the next week!

@OhToBeASeahorse how you doing today lovely?

@WeSearchedHereWeSearchedThere that’s really shit. Can the childminder recommend anyone else?
I’ve got a lovely childminder sorted for add but only 2 days of the 3 she needs so she’ll be at nursery one day which I’m not overly happy with, but will have to do. Maybe we should open our own? We have a shit load of ideas to entertain kids! I might go insane though....!

@Motherofmonsters how about a disco? Stick a kids YouTube party music video on? Gymnastics video?

DS is at nursery today, so far DD has had the shit to end all shits, her vest and babygrow have gone in the bin, I wasn’t scrubbing shit from the shoulders to the bum.
Ive upped my fasting length today so no food til 2pm, DS and me made buns yesterday and they’re preying on my mind, despite them being rank 😂

@Chocolatetrifle we have one of those sets but don’t use it as much as we should, I think it will come into much more use in the garden in summer.

DH is stuck at work and I could really do with him being home, I've had enough today. Nothings even happened and I even managed a sneaky trip to Lidl.

Hope everyone is having a more positive day

@MonkeyPuddle tell me more about the fasting....if you want to.