What's the strangest call you've ever had from your child's school

[listsandbudgets]

Pancake day always makes me remember this one.

You know that cold feeling when the phone goes and its school? Is my child ill, hurt, in trouble etc. etc.

A few years ago mine went on pancake day. The school receptionist said "we're sorry about this Lists but Lists-junior has been hit over the head with a frying pan"

(turned out thankfully it was only a very light, one and they'd been having a pancake race when he tripped, the boy behind him tripped and somehow in the tangle the frying pan whacked him on the head!)

Has anyone had a stranger call than that?

"Hello Ms Year 6 lad. Your Brian has been hit by a car on his way home and is at the undertakers."
Not my dc as I'd have wiped the floor with that admin assistant. He'd had his foot run over opposite the funeral directors so they'd taken him in while they contacted school. Poor mum nearly had a heart attack.

"Hello Ms Flattered, dd1 has a wobbly tooth and is hysterical about it. Please could you come and see if you can get it out?" Dd wouldn't let me do it and when I went back to collect her in the afternoon she'd let the TA take it out Can't apply sun cream but can remove a tooth. Okay then.

Phone call from nursery when youngest was around 18months. Really sorry but I just kicked little Sunrainsnow in the face nocking her over.

Not a call from school, but the other way round.

Parent called to speak to me urgently - "Mrs Prosecco, can you speak to my DD. She will not get out of bed to come to school as she thinks the world is going to end today." (it was one of those myths going round at the time, like the millennium bug, and the news was full of it). I told the mother to get her DD (I somehow refrained from calling her DD a little madam) out of bed and get to school as it was a load of rubbish, and I was about to start first lesson, and all her friends were in school. The mother duly complied.

School phoned to inform me that I had to come to the school and collect ds ( who was in the headteacher’s office) because he had been involved in unacceptable behaviour abusing staff and children.
The “problem‘ with this was that DS was sitting next to me on the sofa and had been off school with appendicitis .
They had got the wrong child

1st phone call many moons ago, my son, (then 6,) had informed his class he wanted to be a ‘pornstar’ when he grew up... I had to embarrassingly explain to the headteacher his obsession with the American show PAWNSTARS about a famous pawnbroker which was completely different from their assumption. Felt awful.
Previously a few years before that, I was informed my daughter age 9 at the time had taken in a magazine to class that showed diagrams of how to perform oral sex! My MIL had innocently bought her a magazine without realising it was aimed at much older teens! The shame......

• Mrs Karma, could you please let us know why little Karma is absent today?

• What? Absent? I left him at school this morning!

• He is not here! You shouldn’t leave a young child out and drive away! He should be taken to the classroom!

• I left him at his table after doing a bit of reading.

• Did you? Well, he is not here.

-Well... could you check again before I ring the police to say my child has been taken from school?

• I’ll see if someone is free.

I rang them back after half an hour as nobody returned the call, I didn’t even get an apology for that.

Worst one dd1: about 18month old, picked her up from nursery on mon eve. She was second to last being picked up, staff already stood with their coats on waiting to leave, it was 5.35 they didn't officially close until 6pm. They said all was fine etc etc. Got home at five to 6, took her coat off to find a large welt like mark on her arm. Looked like she had been slapped with a ruler or alike. Looked in her communication book, nothing. Tried to phone, no answer.
She could move, didn't apear to be in pain etc. Next morn it was a bruise. So i called them (dd not due in that day)
Me; mini Cynthia came home with a large red mark on her arm last night, there's nothing in her book etc. Do you know what happened?
Them; erm no... Ill go ask the other staff. Ill call you back.

They called back an hour later, and left a voice mail; hi, yes errrm...we think it happened When mini Cynthia had a nap. She pushed her arm through the bar in the cot. No one realised until she woke up, unfortunately her arm was wedged between the bars, we had to dismantle the cot to get her out. We hope shes ok and ive spoken to the staff about communication/accident reports etc

Next day drop dd off, still not 100% happy but wasn't much i could do at short notice and i had a hospital apt that i had waited months for....2hrs later i get a phone call.

Them: cynthia we need you to come in and see us asap about minicynthia.
Me; is she ok?
Them ;yes yes shes fine but we need you to come in now.
Me: why, whats happened? If she is fine what is so urgent, I'm laid in a hospital bed having tests...
Them; cant say over the phone, please get here asap.

So i rush from the hospital mid app, get to the nursery to find area manager waiting for me with a lady from ss.... Apparently they were very concerned about the bruise on dds arm.... Turns out no-one had filled any paperwork out, recorded any of the incident, the manager who i had spoken to the day before was off sick. Also in the 2hrs she had been in their care ahe had bumped her head, an developed a massive egg on her head and the keyworker hadn't recorded it.

Ss was not impressed when i played the voicemail they had left me, then when i demanded they played the cctv from The morning as i knew dd sis not have an egg on her head when i dropped her off - 20 mins after dropping her off dd is seen toddling across the room and falling head first into a changing unit. Area manager didnt know what to say, and i dont think any of them were impressed with the ofsted visit they received a week later. But i had removed dd from their care by this point. So glad i didn't delete that voicemail.

Bloody hell @Cynthia13 that’s given me the chills!

We had nursery email us to tell us that we had to pick up dd as she was extremely ill, missed the email as nightshift and they didn't email or phone her dad so came to our door to tell us.

Dh rushed up there expecting the exorcist etc but she was just sleepy. Came home and was bouncing off the walls

DD is very dull these days, but when she was in nursery and infants we had 2 "meetings with concerns".

First one, she was about 3. She had a toy dog that she snuggled with during nap-time. A boy of the same age put Doggy in the bin (because he was a little shit). DD retrieved Doggy and then proceeded to beat up the little shit.

Second one: Year 3 or 4. A boy pulled off the headscarf from one of DDs friends. DD chased after the boy, retrieved the headscarf but jumping on him and kicking him in the shins. After giving the scarf back to her friend, she slapped the boy and said "She wears that cos of her religion you horrible git".

@tankflybosswalkjam it was a horrific few days to say the least. Place was closed down within a year, I hate to think what else had been happening without knowing. I will say before that week they had appeared to be amazing. Good reviews/ofsteds etc. God knows why it went down hill so fast.

Funniest one; dd1 year 5 or 6. I worked in her school. One afternoon i get a call from her class from her teacher

Mrs X: hi cynth, you might wanna call up to my room..
Me; yea sure, everything ok?
Mrs x: erm yes, I've kind of just smacked your daugher in the face.. Shes fine but i want you to check her over.

So i go up to her classroom, walk in to the entire class pissing themselves laughing, and DD1 with an ice pack on her face. Looked her over, absolutely fine, tiny red mark (probably from ice pack) and asked wtf happened...

At this point i should tell you DD1 has zero spacial awareness and can trip up over fresh air.

What had happened was they were learning a dance routine. Mrs x was enthusiastically waving her arms around and dd1 had walked right in to her hand. Receiving quite a good back hander.

Even funnier, as they're explaining and demonstrating what happened, dd1 stood up just at the right time for mrs x to belt her in the face again. Yes i was an evil parent and pissed myself laughing in the middle of a class full of kids. Mrs x was mortified and dd1 threatened to phone ofstead and go to the head if mrs x didnt buy her chocolate as an apology 🤣🤣

I was asked to a meeting to discuss what support the school could offer following ds's kidney transplant. It turned out he had coloured in a scar from an op he had as a baby so that it looked fresh and had had the science teacher fetching and carrying for him because he "wasn't allowed to bend, stretch or lift" as a result of the transplant. I advised science teacher that he should assume that if his lips were moving he was probably lying but he could phone me to double check if he wanted. As we left ds said "When I told you my mate was first test tube baby in the County......sorry Sir"

“Hello MrsJust. Could you pop to school with a school skirt for MiniJust please? She seems to have forgotten to put one on this morning!”

Year 4 daughter had been independently getting ready for school for ages. She’d had a blanket wrapped around her all morning and while eating her breakfast. As I went to lock the back door she put her coat on (knee length) next to the front door, so I hadn’t noticed that she had tights on but no skirt 😂 - and although I did ask her every day whether she’d brushed her teeth, I took it for granted she wouldn’t leave the house without a skirt on!!

Just remembered another one... Twelve years ago ds2 was in a specialist unit in a London Psychiatric Hospital Being assessed for autism. One autumn evening at 8pm one of the nurses rang.
"Don't want you to worry but.... we took the children(5 of them) for a walk in the dark, four of the children have run away on to the nearby golf course. Don't worry though as ds2 was the only one to stay with staff!"
I replied that I'd like to think that the reason ds2 had the good sense to stay was because he knew what a bollocking he would have got from me for running away!

"Could you bring some knickers up at break time, Disgracefulchild has forgotten hers".
Even better was the time I arrived with clean knickers to find half a dozen other parents on the same errand. One child thought it was funny to throw as many as she could find down the toilet and flush it after swimming lesson.

and also that he’s a twin and the school thought to ask her? No.

To be fair, taking a small child aside and asking if their mum is dead probably isn’t the best course of action.

My mum got a call from school when I was 6 or 7 to ask if she could bring the key to my toy handcuffs in to school as I had handcuffed my friend to something (I cant remember what)

The oddest was DD1's teacher calling at lunchtime saying DD had been given [fruit she has an oral but not anaphylactic allergy to] in her fruit bag and what did I want to do? I said oh yes it's happened before, she knows not to eat it. The teacher said 'yes she hasn't had any but I wanted you to know and can you fill in an allergy form for the catering staff. I said I had handed one in last week as it had happened before so wanted them to know to just swap in different fruit (but not worry about cross contamination like anaphylaxis). The teacher paused and I couldn't really understand what the problem was. She said she'd keep the bag for pick up time. It seemed a bit overkill to keep the evidence and DD1 is sensible enough to avoid it (as she had raised the alarm both times it had happened).

I pick her up and the teacher looks sheepish. She hands over the bag which says something on it akin to 'special allergy order'. And the bag is FULL of ONLY [fruit which DD is allergic to]! So bizarre! I could see what the problem was then! Fortunately that seemed to do the trick and she now has fruit bags without that fruit in!

@Notenoughchocolateomg

My mum got a call from school when I was 6 or 7 to ask if she could bring the key to my toy handcuffs in to school as I had handcuffed my friend to something (I cant remember what)

Love this

School once called me at work to tell me that my Yr1 DD was in "detention" (where you spend the afternoon break outside the head teacher's office, with your nose against the wall) for "playing under the dripping guttering". Literally standing under some drips from the gutter above.

Then, 4 years later, I receive the EXACT SAME PHONECALL for DS, also in Yr 1! I just laughed and said that they were being ridiculous, that I was busy at work and that they needed to fix the gutter.

@intheenddoesitreallymatter

My sister had a phone call home from her son's school when he was in reception.

They were doing road safety lessons and his teacher asked him what do we say when we cross the road looking for 'look right, look left, look right again.'

DN's answer - 'watch where you're going bell end.' His Dad was in a lot of trouble.

Genuinely lol'd at that 🤣 Actual tears and couldn't read the punchline to DH without bursting out laughing again. Thank you!

🤣🤣 this thread should go in Mumsnet Classics!

@SiliconHeaven

6 years ago now, my husband and I went on holiday in November and left our son home alone for 2 weeks. The school called us in when we got back, we went because we didn’t know what it was about. The head of year and his tutor sat us down, they were furious that we’d left him alone.

We pointed out that he was 18 years old with his own car and driving license and promptly left.

😂😂😂😂

"Hello CoffeeAndEnnui would it be possible for you to come and collect DD as soon as possible? I'm afraid she's had quite a bad blow to her head. No, she doesn't need to go to the hospital but she is quite upset.

"Well, yes, it was an accident of sorts. The children were participating in trust exercises on the playground, DD was blindfolded and unfortunately her partner became distracted and erm...led her into a wall."

(She was absolutely fine after the cartoon lump went down)