What's the strangest call you've ever had from your child's school

[listsandbudgets]

Pancake day always makes me remember this one.

You know that cold feeling when the phone goes and its school? Is my child ill, hurt, in trouble etc. etc.

A few years ago mine went on pancake day. The school receptionist said "we're sorry about this Lists but Lists-junior has been hit over the head with a frying pan"

(turned out thankfully it was only a very light, one and they'd been having a pancake race when he tripped, the boy behind him tripped and somehow in the tangle the frying pan whacked him on the head!)

Has anyone had a stranger call than that?

Had a call at work from my sons nursery to say that he may mention an incident that had occurred after lunch. oh what's that then?.....Well we did a head count after all his class had been to the toilets and washed their hands but we missed your son....sorry he was left in the toilet for 10-20 minutes with no lights on. Nice one.

Nursery demanded I go in and explain one of DS's paintings. The staff thought it was disturbing. They were looking at it the wrong way up and it was a red Formula 1 racing car having the tyres changed.

Another time I was called in and interviewed by a member of staff who wanted to know why I was talking about war so much, as it was affecting DS.
So I pointed to the tables which were covered in newspaper and reporting abut a current war. It wasn't just text, there were some very graphic photos.

My sister got a call to pick up her DC because he was covered in cow poo! They had spent the morning at the petting zoo and he had been "the chosen one", chosen to stand near the cow while the guy showed how to milk her. Tail went up and it shat all over my nephew. One of the teachers had it on video. My sister has shown us but wont send it round as she feels its unfair

@TrivialSoul

Trivial junior is stuck in her jacket, 5 members of staff have tried to free her, would you like to come and try or can we cut her out of it? I suggested they take it off over her head... Funnily enough no-one had thought of that!!! Smaller trivial at nursery... We have problems with him lying, very unusual for him so we have had a caht to him about it... I enquire about the nature of his lies... Sometimes daddy pins him on the floor and farts in his face... Errm, awkward but that's not a lie 🤣😂🤣

ROTFL

A text message at about 7pm "Due to the explosion, school will be closed tomorrow.'

Gas explosion had happened at a flat just at the school entrance at about 4pm. Thankfully the handful of children who were playing in the playground were well out of harm's way. It made national news.

Not a message but a conversation with ds lovely reception teacher
apparently in class dc where asked what they had done in holidays
ds "saw Jurassic Park"
poor teacher put this on board ds 5 - excuse me miss doesn't it have 2 ss? her comment to me was that it was a good thing the head hadn't walked through! nb my spelling is awful goodness knows how where he got this skill from!
(my dc were taught how to use a dictionary very early on - god bless spell check now!)

Receptionist told me I needed to collect DD ASAP as an attempt to re-enact a wartime story had been taken seriously and she'd become hysterical. Turns out that after lunch the teacher had announced that all the class (aged 7yrs)were going to be sent to the country by train. Without firstly explaining it was what had happened years ago and they weren't really going.

I was telephoned at work to come and collect my autistic daughter (pre-school age) two days into her placement with the excellent Ofsted private nursery, because they "couldn't manage". This was despite her having a funded one-to-one worker . So she was effectively expelled before she was old enough for school!

@BlowDryRat

"Hello Mrs BlowDryRat, it's Miss X from school. I have a note here from you excusing miniRat from lessons this afternoon because you're taking her to the doctor. She told me not to ask you about it... No, I didn't think it was real either but she did take excellent care with her handwriting." - phonecall from 6yo DD's class teacher. The handwriting was indeed the best she's ever done, before or since, the little madam.

I was taken aside by 9yo DS' teacher at pickup one afternoon so she could talk to me about the 'inappropriate and violent' picture he'd drawn. It was of one stick man firing using a bow to fire an arrow into another stick man's buttock. I thought it was hilarious. The teacher was unimpressed.

Just found one in DD1's school bag appointing her as a school TA "signed" by the class teacher AND head - and she's used their first names as well to add to the crime!

'Please come into the office to discuss the burn marks on 5yo son's stomach' Turns out he had been sliding down the (carpeted) stairs on his front! Oh how we laughed

My year 8 DS’s school rang me to say he’d taken a horses head mask to school and was running around the sports field with it on. Teacher was trying very hard not to laugh while she was asking if he could please not bring it in again.

I once had to speak to parents as we’d been looking at Paris and two little lads had googled ‘night in Paris’ just as THAT video was doing the rounds. It was Dads collecting and they couldn’t look me in the eye. I reported the IT issue as clearly, they shouldn’t have been able to see anything but the security was lax. Nothing was done until the following week when the head covered a lesson on pottery and got rather a shock when she searched ‘big jugs’ on the whiteboard.

I got taken aside at my child’s nursery to say that DC had been using a racist word whilst playing!!!
DC used to watch a TV program with a character called Patty, and at age 3.5 DC was unable to properly form her “T” properly, it came out more like a “K”!!
My response was that if DC had used that word then DC hadn’t heard it in our house and also, had they never noticed the slight speech impediment in the 3.5 years DC had been at the nursery!! I received a full apology!!

When deciding which school to send pfb to I asked local mums what they were like as I had two in walking distance one said she had a phone call from the school saying everything is fine but um how many teeth did she have when she came to school this morning? There was a bit of a bump and some blood? Nothing serious

Mine was from nursery. DS2 had got his willy stuck in the spout of a teapot.

[quote thenewduchessofhastings]@StarrIntheSky

I can certainly vouch costochondritis certainly does happen out of nowhere and isn't the result of trauma;I suffered for months with the resulting musculoskeletal pain from this beauty;I now 3 years later still have a section of one rib that still hurts if anything touches it;it's never healed;it's the gift that keeps on giving.[/quote]
Good 10 years now lol

I got a call from DD1's SEN school to say that she needed a couple of stitches for a head injury but don't worry, she must be feeling OK as she's eating her lunch! That was bad enough but then they brought her out to me: "Why's she limping?" "Is she?" "Yes!" "We hadn't noticed that!"

Few months later I got a call from DS's school to say he'd slipped at swimming and banged the back of his head, could we collect him and take him to the doctors. Don't worry, he's OK, we have him sitting in Reception being kept an eye on and he's eating his lunch! Turned up, DS smiled at me, I said, "Never mind the back of his head, what happened to his teeth?!" "Oh, he chipped them on the side of the swimming pool but it's OK, he says they're his baby teeth." "They aren't!"

Not even the same sodding school!

‘Your son caught fire in assembly this morning’
This was lower 6th. Son mega keen on science/physics and had batteries in his pocket which had shorted, and his blazer pocket caught fire/melted a bit. Somewhat concerning. But now an IT specialist after doing a masters in electronic engineering.

From school:
Your son is in the Head's office with another boy because the other boy had his hands around his neck.
Really? Who was it? - me thinking that I had taught DS to defend himself vigorously and effectively against such possibility
John (fake name).
But he is his long term friend. Are you sure they weren't goofing around?
Erm... that's what they both say.
Then it's probably that, then. - feeling the disbelief on the other side of the line.
Do you want to talk to your son?
Sure, might as well.
Mum, he had his hands at the back of my neck, not around. We were play fighting.
Oh, alright then. - to the teacher - See, no harm intended, I'm sure. Shouldn't they be in class?
...

Random calls:
Are you X (completely different name)?
No, I'm not.
Do you know X?
No.
Is X there?
No. You seem to have the wrong number.
In which town are you?
Do you not realise this is a mobile phone? - I could be anywhere in the world.

(still don't know why they kept asking for location)

I once had to pick my DS - 6 yo at the time, as he had swallowed his tooth and then thrown up at the thought of it 😂 it had been wobbly, and as he took a drink from his bottle, someone else had bumped into him & knocked it out! Apparently there was a trail of sick from his classroom to the school office 🙈 Even though they knew it was only a reaction from the tooth, I still had to keep him home for 48 hours!

We had a text a few years back which said “Due to the snow children are welcome to wear/bring their willies to school.”

This isn't a school one - it's a health visitor one. When my son was 3 I was concerned about his eyesight and mentioned it at one of the checkups. The HV immediately set up an impromptu eye test in the corridor using the standard eye test chart of letters which my son didn't know. He 'passed' but I knew he was guessing. The HV made a follow up appointment for 6-8 weeks time. In the mean time I had made an appointment with an optician, my son had been diagnosed with extreme long sight and been given glasses. I forgot to cancel the appointment at the HV and an irate HV appeared at our front door when I was out asking to see my son. My husband apologised and explained that my son had seen an optician and the matter was resolved. The HV said 'How do I know that he has seen an optician?' My husband pointed to my son's face and said 'because he is wearing glasses' before closing the door

Phone call from ds amazing keyworker at nursery. I was at work.

Ds hadn't been sleeping well and hadn't napped for a year or so.

He was asleep when I dropped him off at 1!

Call was at 4.30pm. Ds still asleep and sorry they'd let him sleep that long and should they wake him up for his tea at 5? I said best to let him sleep if he needed it and I'd deal with any fallout if it happened.

Still asleep when I collected him. Woke at 7pm and didn't want dinner so went to bed.

Woke up 8am following day covered in chicken pox!

@MsTSwift

Dd1 in reception I was called to collect her as she had a stomach ache. I thought this was odd as she was fine that morning. She was subdued but perked up at home. Further discussion it emerged a lovely imaginative forest school teacher had told them a story about trolls that lived in the forest school wood and they had forest school they afternoon and dd1 was flatly terrified as she had taken this all to be true and didn’t want to see the trolls 😀.

Reminds me of the time my parents took me to London. We stayed in B&B and they told me excitedly we could go and look for the wombles on Wimbledon Common the next morning. I lay terrified in my bed by the window all night convinced the wombles were going to climb up and get me in the night

My mum got a phone call to collect me as I had a worrying rash on my forearms. I hated school and had a new watch that I was allergic to (nickel) and had been swapping it and scratching all morning so I could show the teacher and get picked up and
My aunty got two funny one about my younger cousin, come and collect him, he's stapled his ear to the desk. And in primary school he flashed his finger through his zip hole at a group of girls