What's the strangest call you've ever had from your child's school

[listsandbudgets]

Pancake day always makes me remember this one.

You know that cold feeling when the phone goes and its school? Is my child ill, hurt, in trouble etc. etc.

A few years ago mine went on pancake day. The school receptionist said "we're sorry about this Lists but Lists-junior has been hit over the head with a frying pan"

(turned out thankfully it was only a very light, one and they'd been having a pancake race when he tripped, the boy behind him tripped and somehow in the tangle the frying pan whacked him on the head!)

Has anyone had a stranger call than that?

@FeatherInTheWind

I've got so many, all related to same DS (never had any calls for the other 3 DC)

One was "Hello, we've had to have a conversation with DS about not tattooing other children in the toilets" this was infants

Another was "hello, we've had to have chat with DS about not betting children to drink out of their shoes. Another child was found to have £15 on them and it was won during a bet with your DS" juniors

Also "hello, we've had to have a chat with DS about not buying the merch from his teachers bands website and doing a superman reveal of the T-shirt in the class" (with teachers face emblazoned on it)

And "Hello, we've had to have a chat with DS about pretending to be a pupil at another school (his own school on inset day) and getting issued with books and attending lessons" Tho, I was expecting this call as one of his siblings told me DS is all over Snapchat as "who is this random kid in my class?"

I think your ds may go far in life - he sounds inventive, creative and not afraid to follow his ideas

I had a very serious phone call from DDs nursery telling me that she had been racist and they had to record it officially as a racist incident.

I was mortified and told them that anything racist that she had said would 100% not have come from home!

She had been reported as saying "don't play with the brown children" an awful and unusual phrase that I couldn't place. We didn't ever have any adult TV on at home while she was awake, no radio etc and we were very careful of what was said around her. Neither of us had even discussed anything similar even in phone calls so we had no idea where it had come from.

I asked her about it casually, if she'd ever heard anyone say it, and she looked bewildered. I clarified; "at nursery, has anyone said not to play with the brown children?" She told me adamantly that there weren't any brown children at nursery!
It was actually quite a multicultural nursery, so I suggested some names and she sighed and looked at me like I was a fool and said "Mummy! They aren't brown! They are Turquoise!"

It turned out that children I had named were in the turquoise group and there wasn't a brown group and she had no concept of race.

I never did get to the bottom of what actually happened.

Hello Ms Dry. It's LittleDry's school here. She seems to have got some o the rubber from her trainers and a couple of small pebbles lodged in her ear.

Years later OlderDry told me that LittleDry had confided that she did it so that she could go home early.

She had about 10 minutes left of school time before the end of day bell rang!

I do the after school pick up, so most issues are saved till then (Him's mummy do you feed your son as he's eating food off the floor? Him's mummy, your son has been pooing in the urinal again).

I did however receive an urgent call one afternoon because my reception aged son had taken a toy into the toilets, weed into it and thrown the urine over another child. Wasn't quite sure how to respond to that.

Another one was during that slightly surreal week last March when people were meant to be staying home but schools were still open. I work in outdoor education and each day that week I was teaching a different class from the same school with numbers declining each day and accompanying adults disappearing half through the day as their children's schools were closing and they had to go isolate.

I received a call from my kids school and took it with permission from the visiting teachers. It was the school asking why my daughter was not in school that day and whether she had symptoms. I replied that I really hoped she was in school as I dropped her off at breakfast club that morning and returned embarrassed to my visiting class

A 14 year old boy was telling me how they'd been clearing his grandad's house at the weekend after he'd gone into a home and he'd brought something I thought would be interested in. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a handful of bullets and a hand-grenade! I never got to hear the phone calls that followed from that but we had padded police in the school. The bullets were apparently live but not dangerous, the hand-grenade they carefully removed.

@Canitbemagic

Similar but different. Reception teacher called me aside and said how very impressed she was by minihairbrush's general knowledge. They had been discussing flightless birds and DD had insisted that flamingos couldn't fly. I told her they could but the teacher insisted they couldn't because my 5yr old DD had said they couldn't.!

Also oldest DS got down from his chair backwards and found himself wedged in the back of the chair by the ears!

Also the teacher in charge of school council told me she had had to fake an urgent reason to leave the council meeting when the youngest and smallest member of the council - 8yr old DS - discussing the ideas put forward in the previous meeting said "That's all very well but have the prerequisites been met?"

“Little redcurrant had left his packed lunch on the school bus, we’ve shown him the school lunch menus but he would prefer a home made lunch, can you make him a fresh one and bring it down?”

Fussy wee shit

@bellropes

When the headteacher phoned to inform me that ds had been attacked by the parent helper 🙄

I'm sorry, WHATTTT?????

Just recalled a call I got the Deputy Head came in, big grin on her face, Can you go and let your daughter out of the porch!

I'd closed the inside door, Yale lock, and locked the outside door, forgetting that daughter was in bed unwell. She'd gone out of the inside door, slammed it, not realising that the outer door couldn't be opened without the key so she was trapped. She managed to attract the attention of a neighbour who called my school.

Hi Mrs Bawhair

Your DD's shoe has been thrown over the playground wall and is lying in the garden of a neighbouring house. We aren't allowed to collect it, are you OK to go get it?'

🤔🤔🤔🤔

@Toorapid

From the other side, I once took a call from a parent who wanted me to find out where her DC had put the TV remote control.

I recall children bringing all sorts of things to school in their bags. My youngest showed her teacher Mummy's huge diamond, sadly it was a small silvery paper-weight

@FeatherInTheWind

I've got so many, all related to same DS (never had any calls for the other 3 DC)

One was "Hello, we've had to have a conversation with DS about not tattooing other children in the toilets" this was infants

Another was "hello, we've had to have chat with DS about not betting children to drink out of their shoes. Another child was found to have £15 on them and it was won during a bet with your DS" juniors

Also "hello, we've had to have a chat with DS about not buying the merch from his teachers bands website and doing a superman reveal of the T-shirt in the class" (with teachers face emblazoned on it)

And "Hello, we've had to have a chat with DS about pretending to be a pupil at another school (his own school on inset day) and getting issued with books and attending lessons" Tho, I was expecting this call as one of his siblings told me DS is all over Snapchat as "who is this random kid in my class?"

Omg, your son sounds amazing!

@gettingfedupagain

I had a very serious phone call from DDs nursery telling me that she had been racist and they had to record it officially as a racist incident.

I was mortified and told them that anything racist that she had said would 100% not have come from home!

She had been reported as saying "don't play with the brown children" an awful and unusual phrase that I couldn't place. We didn't ever have any adult TV on at home while she was awake, no radio etc and we were very careful of what was said around her. Neither of us had even discussed anything similar even in phone calls so we had no idea where it had come from.

I asked her about it casually, if she'd ever heard anyone say it, and she looked bewildered. I clarified; "at nursery, has anyone said not to play with the brown children?" She told me adamantly that there weren't any brown children at nursery!
It was actually quite a multicultural nursery, so I suggested some names and she sighed and looked at me like I was a fool and said "Mummy! They aren't brown! They are Turquoise!"

It turned out that children I had named were in the turquoise group and there wasn't a brown group and she had no concept of race.

I never did get to the bottom of what actually happened.

Sounds like my daughter who always talked about the brown lady from Kindergarten, tunred out she was the lady in the brown overall, not the West Indian lady. I'm glad that I didn't make an issue of it, she never thought of people according to their skin colour.

Hello Mrs Hellebores, ds twisted his ankle at lunchtime and is making a silly fuss and refusing to get up and go to playtime.

I arrived and went up to the classroom. He was ashen and one look told me something was broken. Aged 6 he climbed into his sister's pushchair rather than walk. As soon as we got to the car "I didn't make a fuss mummy, I behaved like a big boy and didn't cry".

Within 90 minutes he'd had an Xray, a cast fitted and been given crutches.

The shock next morning was palpable and I was tipped off the head ran the Spanish Inquisition as to how a hold in their care broke a bone and nobody noticed!

Collecting my niece and nephew (children of different siblings but used the same nursery and were similar in age). Both had accident forms from a scuffle involving an over enthusiastic, but ultimately unwanted, cuddle from my niece and retaliation from my nephew in the form of a toy train to her head. 'Confidentiality' meant they couldn't name the other child involved but the forms made it very clear

Oh I've remembered one from ds.

He'd scribbled science off his timetable in year 9 and kept saying he hates the subject - odd because he loved it previously. Turned out he hated the teacher.

After a few weeks I rang and said there seemed to be an issue and could she tell me what was going on? (I work in education so know there's always 2 sides - or not in this case!)

Reply I got was ds was a PITA to have in class and responsible for 50% of all issues "because he has poor social skills and his wiring is illegible"

I will point out dear readers my ds has a physical disability and autism and and EHCP to support this! Kindly suggested we spoke to senco and arranged support but she seemed more keen on him just writing more clearly and improving his social skills or he'd fail!

Next day is Friday and ds comes home from school broken hearted. The kid who school staff know bully him had given out books in science and hidden ds. When ds asked where his book is this bully and his mates all offered to help and found it under a front desk and said ds threw it there. Ds didn't and wouldn't and the kids on his table all backed him up.

Anyway I get home from work Monday to a voicemail which a gleeful voice that ds had failed to attend his lunchtime detention and therefore she'd made it after school.

Now ds had taxi due to being at out of catchment school named on his EHCP.

Que panic from me to school who inform me he's in his taxi as his keyworker saw him off and ds arrived home at this point.

Ask ds why he didn't attend his lunchtime detention today the science teacher set - to be told by ds science was after lunch!

I check voicemail and it's been sent at 11.18am

So I emailed HOY with recording of voicemail, time it was sent, that science was period 5 and previous conversation and just asked him if he could find out what was going on?

Phone call at 8am following morning to say no detention and moving science groups. (Didn't say he thought teacher was being a twat but jist was there)

She wouldn't even look me in the eye results day when ds collected his gcse science results - he got double 9

@AnaisNun

Got a call from nursery when DS was maybe just 3, to say “Nunette is walking around the garden saying very extreme swear words repeatedly. He’s said it to a number of members of staff, can we speak to you about it at pick up please”.

Could not get out of them what it was over the phone.

At pick up, I go to collect DS and staff gravely tell me he’s said “fuck it” many times and they don’t understand as he’s never said anything like it, has he heard it at home? or on public transport? etc etc. I can’t think what’s happened- he’s NEVER heard that language at home- it’s only us there!

As I get him from the garden, DS says hello, and when I ask what he’s been up to, gestures through the chain link fence to the field beyond, and says very clearly “foot kick!”

On my way out, I enquired whether in fact the football team had been training on the playing field earlier today.
“Oh yes” they said cheerily “and Nunette loved watching them! Let us know whether you get to the bottom of the bad language over the weekend!”

Did you not tell them what he'd actually said??

Name changed for this one.......

«hello Mrs QuickNameChange headmaster here. This is a difficult call to make but unfortunately young Quick’s teacher lost his temper and hit him on thé head today. We have called the police who are on the way.»

The teacher was not sacked and we took ds out of the school a few months later.

Call to say DS was fine but had sneezed out a peanut. Day 1 of nursery aged 15 months. Few days later...seems fine but has had blood tinged snot today, from the peanut incident we imagine, but just to let you know. Nope, not blood. Cocopops. The Cocopops he'd stealthily stuck up there turned his snot brown. He sneezed those out later on.

When youngest was in reception I had a call from a distraught teacher to tell me she had accidentally hit him in the face with a wooden block while showing him how to row a boat. She honestly thought I’d go nuts. He was fine and she finally calmed down.

Another time I used to work nights and only slept while the kids were at school so every second counted. I got a call to say I needed to come in as middle child had some grit in his eye and they couldn’t wash it out. So I chucked clothes on and walked to the school only for them to tell me he had blinked and it was all fine now. Needless to say after a 12 hour night shift I was a bit grumpy as I walked home for my 4 hours sleep.

My daughter was in the school nursery and shared her packed lunch with her friend
Very nice to share isn't it?
Except if your eating mini pork sausages and your friend is a Muslim and a vegetarian at that!

Not school but got a call from my sons nursery that he’d been bit by a rat and I need to pick him up and take him to the doctors!

I wasn’t on the phone long, and probably should have probed more but was pretty shocked and keen to get to him straight away and get him to the doctors. Rang the doctors on my way to ensure he could be seen as by this stage I had visions of this nasty dirty rat running out of the barn and biting him (son went to a nursery attached to a petting farm). Got to nursery to find my son had in fact stuck his finger into a pet rats cage and got nipped, not even broken the skin!!

Several years ago got a call when at work:

"just letting you know mini Nanu brought his dad's mobile phone into nursery today Mini Nanu and his friend were found sat under a table having a conversation with a Mr Director of Big Company, wanting to know which engine in Thomas the Tank Engine is his favourite "

Mini Nanu had 'pinched' the phone because it would be fun to play with. Password combinations are never a problem for my eagle eyed darling photographic memory darling. Little friend and mini Nanu had phoned several contacts according to the calls made record.

I got a call at 1pm to ask why DD age 6 wasn't at school.

I freaked as she had been dropped off at the school gate by her childminder, but CM can't see her physically go into the building from the gate.

Three panicked phone calls later I discovered there was a P7 with the same name as DD...

Trouble is, al these phone calls will be due to a parent complaining about something similar. As a TA I have had to ring about really trivial things because a parent has complained about not being informed of the same in the past. It's an annoying waste of time but it's in response to previous complaints- some parents do complain about anything and everything.