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Original poster

Am I the only saddo that did a secret Valentine's card for my teen DS?

83 replies

KarensChoppyBob · 14/02/2021 10:17

Blush.

OP posts:
AuntieMarys · 14/02/2021 16:30

Why on earth would you?

BlowDryRat · 14/02/2021 16:30

I used to send my best friend a secret Valentine's card every year. I never let on that it was me and now she's married and doesn't need me!

I also give the DC a card each year but they're 10 and 8 and they know it's from me.

strawberriesatmypicnic · 14/02/2021 16:36

@KarensChoppyBob

I've done it since he was at late primary school. He doesn't make a big deal of it, I'm sure he does know it's me. I thought it was a nice thing! Family tradition- I did fir his sister but she's 20 now. Trust MN to make it An Awful Thing To Do Hmm.
Well you did call yourself FB a saddo
GrimDamnFanjo · 14/02/2021 16:37

As a teen a friends mother sent me one as a "joke."
It was a really hurtful thing to do as the friend and mother encouraged me to speculate on who sent it etc.
I'd be very unhappy if an adult did this to my teen.

strawberriesatmypicnic · 14/02/2021 16:38

@KarensChoppyBob

I've done it since he was at late primary school. He doesn't make a big deal of it, I'm sure he does know it's me. I thought it was a nice thing! Family tradition- I did fir his sister but she's 20 now. Trust MN to make it An Awful Thing To Do Hmm.
Apologies dodgy internet here. Post should be Well you did call yourself a saddo in the title and post here asking for advice
Tal45 · 14/02/2021 16:44

As long as he knows it's a family tradition and that it's really from you that's fine. If he doesn't know and is always hoping it's from someone he likes then it's awful and he'd probably be mortified if he found out it was you.

PattyPan · 14/02/2021 16:46

MIL sent us flowers this year!
I think it’s fine as long as he knows it’s from you and isn’t sensitive about not having a gf. Being embarrassing is part of the job description for parents of teens is it not Grin

CorianderBee · 14/02/2021 16:52

Yes, but my mum sends me a card and gift every year on Valentines- I'm 25 Grin

CorianderBee · 14/02/2021 16:54

I know it's from her though

sophiet882 · 14/02/2021 16:55

i left chocolates on my dd's pillow this morning when she was in the shower for her to find Smile ive done it since she was a dot.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 14/02/2021 17:19

It's different if he knows it's from you and it's part of an annual tradition.

I do think sending Valentine's as a joke is awful, though. Some "friends" did it to me when I was in year 8 and I was really, really hurt.

topcat2014 · 14/02/2021 17:23

DD knows hers is from me, really, as she tells her friends.

I certainly wouldn't leave her to assume it was actually from an admirer!

DarcyJack · 14/02/2021 17:26

See my parents did this for me and I was more than happy! I 'knew' it was them but they never admitted it, so I was never certain, but at school the burning question was did you get any?? And I could always say yes. And that was very important. And yes very often it was the only one I did get.

TheUndoingProject · 14/02/2021 17:29

I occasionally gave my kids token gifts when they were younger - like a packet of love hearts etc. But those were from me, not a secret admirer. I think doing it as a secret is a little unkind, for all the reasons given on the thread. The risk of it coming across as patronising/humiliating is too high.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 14/02/2021 17:34

My teens would find it mortifying. I have ordered them pizza which is a more acceptable alternative.

HappyThursdays · 14/02/2021 17:36

I do cards for my kids every year. Silly ones with stupid pictures. They are adults now and live elsewhere and they love it :)

Every family has their own traditions - you do what works for you and your kids x

HappyThursdays · 14/02/2021 17:37

Oh and they know it's from me like @CorianderBee :)

lachy · 14/02/2021 17:44

We sent one to DD. She's only 4 though and she knows it's from Mummy and Daddy.

takingwhatineed · 14/02/2021 18:08

Ahh, no. I think it's a sweet idea. I send my children cards and a little present. Romantic love isn't the only form of love that can be celebrated today. I sent my friends and family a text too telling them why they're special to me.

Bluntness100 · 14/02/2021 18:54

I think it’s sweet as long as you say it’s from you. If you do the thing of pretending it’s from someone else. Then it gets a bit weird and creepy. Sounds like he’s a teenager too, which makes it slightly worse. I can see why he tries to not acknowledge it too much.

I think op he’d likely rather you didn’t.

MissyB1 · 14/02/2021 19:43

I got my 12 year old ds a valentine card and heart shaped chocolate - but it was from the dog Grin

londongirl12 · 14/02/2021 19:55

I used to get one from my nan every year for as long as I can remember. She always used to disguise her writing but never admitted it was her. I miss those times. But she'd done. Since I was small, if she'd have started when I was a teen I might have found it weird

Butterbeeeen · 14/02/2021 20:12

We buy for the dc. They know its us though and this year as my ds is getting older he got me a card and some flowers. He would never admit it to his friends though and I wouldn't dream of outing him.

goldielockdown2 · 15/02/2021 08:16

It's cruel unless he knows it's from you before he claps eyes on it.
I wouldn't trick my kids like this.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 15/02/2021 08:48

@MissyB1

I got my 12 year old ds a valentine card and heart shaped chocolate - but it was from the dog Grin
Grin
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