Female adhd?

[SunshineOverStress]

Does anyone on here have ADHD?

How does it affect your life?

hiya lovely. female adhd here x
adhd is a pain in my ar$e! executive dysfunction nonexistent! concentration buggered! sensory overload all over the feckin shop x

@francinegriffin

hiya lovely. female adhd here x adhd is a pain in my ar$e! executive dysfunction nonexistent! concentration buggered! sensory overload all over the feckin shop x

executive FUNCTION nonexistent!! meant to say. xx executive DYSfunction, got loads of that!! xx

I have adhd and autism. The autism helps with some of the adhd symptoms, but not all.

I'm very restless and can't stop moving and fidgeting.
I can never relax.
My brain constantly races and is about ten thoughts ahead of my mouth, so I can't seem to express myself very well.
I can't seem to get control of my brain - I can't do yoga or read a book because of racing thoughts.
I can't focus or concentrate on things unless I have hyper concentration on something that's grabbed my attention.
I find it difficult to get motivated.
I can't stick with one thing for very long.
I can't complete paperwork.
I get angry.
I'm constantly bored and restless.
I get irritable if I can't do something that I need to do right away.
My thoughts and expression of them lack coherence, especially when speaking.
I can't answer questions properly.
I don't lose stuff or am chaotic because the autism means I'm quite a controlled person so I'm okay in that way.
I'm not that impulsive, again, because of the autism - I'm naturally very cautious.
My educational attainment is poor and way below my IQ level.
I have no patience.
I get depressed, which is a symptom apparently.

There's probably a heap of other stuff, but I can't remember right now.

My house is a tip and I never get any actual stuff done.

Work is great because every day is different, high stress and they like thinking far far outside the box.

It's still no walk in the park and I'd love to be in a normal brain for a week to try it.

When I was on the methylphenidate my brain felt normal. I felt more relaxed and slowed down and I could get my brain to do things for me instead of it controlling me. I was able to read a book and stop doing everything at 100mph. The cardiac side effects were too much though, I thought I was going to have a heart attack. It was weird experiencing normal brain function though. I haven't forgotten it.

It absolutely ruins 99% of my life.

I swing between extreme organisation and disorganisation. I have a terrible memory, if I don't write something down the instant I'm told it I will have forgotten 5 mins later. Makes reading to do lists interesting as I'm constantly surprised by things I have forgotten.

I find it very hard to work logically, even though I set out to do so and know what I should do, admin tasks at work can be tricky. I actually really like the challenge of doing something in an ordered precise manner, half way through though it's gone haywire because I've jumped ahead to something I'm interested in or know about. My manager who is the most process led, detail oriented person ever seems to be in a state of constant, bemused shock at my mess ups. He knows I have a good brain but can't match it to my scattergun approach, it's actually quite funny to watch him struggle with it sometimes

When I am hyper focused I can get masses done but it's a strain to stop or be interrupted eg by needing to have lunch or to an appointment etc, I'm frequently a bit late because I HAD to do something before I leave the house, however unimportant. I'm not mega late though because I think that is just bloody rude.

I feel like I'm constantly running to stand still. It can be incredibly frustrating but now I know why it's more reassuring that I'm not just crap at stuff other people find easy. Teen Dd has it too and we do laugh at each other being particularly ADHD about certain things. Keeps us sane. I wish I'd know years ago, would have felt less inadequate a lot of the time.

Two family members, mother and daughter, both have ADHD and both take a particular medication to help them function. The mother has her own business and runs seminars throughout the USA in her subject. Takes a fair bit of concentration and organisation, that.

Female ADHD here :)
I struggle massively with concentration and memory.
When I was younger I physically couldn't concentrate at all and was always in a daydream. It made school genuinely impossible and I barely scraped by with 4 GCSE's.

It effects most areas of my life but it's just me so I don't really notice it if that makes sense.
The ADHD meds give me bad palpitations so we're exploring our options atm.

I barely have any qualifications to my name, though my teachers always said I was exceptionally bright. I have dropped out of everything I've attempted for various reasons but not being able to plan/complete coursework is the main one.

Extremely fidgety, I am not someone who appears to be full of energy but I am never still, even watching TV I am shaking my legs, clicking my fingers, twirling my hair, changing position a lot etc

I can't follow multi step directions that aren't written down. I have an extremely poor grasp of time, I am easily overwhelmed and frustrated, I lose things not just 'often' but multiple times a day, a huge chunk of my time is spent looking for things. I have huge issues falling asleep because I can't switch my thoughts off. I zone out. I have a slow auditory processing speed, I miss a lot of appointments, even when I've written them down. On my work days I have to check what time I am in work about 20 times in the run up because I won't remember. I burn food. I forget to buy food. I go shopping for food without my bank card. I impulsively eat. My house is nearly always a mess. Even things I have been made to do routinely for years I forget how to do. I feel a silent rage when I have to wait in queues.

On the flip side I absolutely thrive on new or novel experiences, so I'm adventurous and well travelled. I don't suffer from anxiety and I am generally quite comfortable taking risks, and I live in the moment. I don't tend to follow the crowd and can be creative or make bold choices with things like interior design, holidays, hobbies, recipes etc. I am very good at researching things which is a definite ADHD trait.

I think it's worth saying I don't have proper hyperactivity which I think helps. I certainly have the inattentive issue. And lack of executive function.

I was good at exams because cramming and stress really work for me. It it's the old ADHD issue which is I turn out the same volume of work as a normie but it is bursts of hyper focused brilliance then 20 minutes of working out how to do something entirely unrelated and irrelevant.

I firmly believe the travel bug and ADHD are linked; are all the people on this thread travel people?

I don’t have ADHD but one of my (adult) kids does - mixed type. On meds they are absolutely fine, still ‘active’ but manageable, just need to go for a run in their lunch hour, exercise after work etc. Works to their advantage as they never tire and are perceived as ‘energetic’ at work (in a good way). It completely addresses their inattentive issues and they function at a high level in a highly qualified professional role. If they don’t take their meds they literally couldn’t work out how to open a paper bag. Originally there was the issue when they got up in the morning they were not together enough to remember/organised to take meds so everything fell to shit instantly but that was fixed by having meds with glass of water in their bedroom directly beside the alarm and that’s worked. They also top up with a short acting in the afternoon but are fine as part of a routine with this as the other is still working at that point.

I'm waiting for a referral.

I read someone's post on here and it was as if I'd written it myself.

I quite like Jenn has ADHD on Facebook as I've found it helpful and she has a lot of relevant memes.

It explains all the things I've struggled with for as long as I can remember. The impulse control is the worst one.
Eating and spending without any consideration of the effects

that was fixed by having meds with glass of water in their bedroom directly beside the alarm and that’s worked

My pills used to live on top of my alarm clock. Zero chance of taking them otherwise.

I have inattentive type.

Lots of executive function issues - poor concentration (unless hyperfocussing), struggle with planning and organisation, poor short term memory, poor recall.

No internal clock so very bad at telling the passing of time and I also can't tell how long things will take.

Very impatient, I interrupt a lot.

Very low boredom threshold.

Hate routine, can't stick to one to save my life.

Mislay things a lot.

I have inattentive not hyperactive (ha, I wish). I have a extremely low boredom threshold, I am always ‘doing’ something. Can’t sit still, am often doing two things at once (badly). I often listen to audio books when I get dressed because getting dressed is so boring. I find showers annoying because there’s nothing to do other than boring washing - it’s weird, the constant need for input. Bizarrely I think this has got so much worse as I got older. I think when dc were little my brain was overwhelmed with their needs and I was physically exhausted, now I have more time to myself I fill it with stuff. And then wish I hadn’t!

I did well at school and Uni but professionally I’ve never fulfilled my potential. Not remotely. It’s a source of frustration because my job is not a reflection of what I could do but I actually maybe I ‘can’t’ do what I think I could because I’m too busy being distracted by squirrels!

I have only told my closest friends about my diagnosis. Even they have been about it (nicely though!). I genuinely think they don’t believe I have it! Sometimes I don’t, but I only have to run through an online checklist and remember a consultant psychiatrist diagnosed me - after a psychologist suggested I might have it. I’d love for my closest friends and family to spend a day in my brain and see what it’s like!

Only seem to have a partially tidy home ever. - one job a day
Self neglect- hair brushing, shower (see above, cannot manage it all) - routines
Either start early or start late- find it hardd to regulate in between/where internal motivation is required - trying to be kind, do one thing, positive visualisation, lists
Constant feeling of a background motor on.
Emotions. All the time.
Prone to feeling of head exploding and too many thoughts - exercise daily journal yoga
Prone to hyper focus, low time awareness - phone alarms every couple of hours, time slots
Forget to eat which worsens all of it - landline reminder call and phone alarm for lunch and dinner
Difficulty planning steps- lists on phone, allocate time slots e.g. Sat AM is phone calls etc.

I'm sure there is more. Meds didn't agree but I have out of necessity, and once I accepted it, come up with strategies, which I have listed above.

I too have ADHD. I have trouble focusing on what’s important and instead hyper-focus on small things or details. I can’t relax, have to always be doing something. MN is a hint I am getting lazy in my old age because you’d never catch me sitting down from waking in morning to going to bed at night.
Also cannot be bothered enough to say more here.

I’m not diagnosed but I think I have inattentive ADHD.

I have good focus but generally on the wrong thing - I can be very precise and organised when my brain is engaged but a complete car crash in other areas of my life. Find admin tasks almost physically impossible. Terrible for starting something and not finishing. House is often a tip then I will have burst of enthusiasm for cleaning and start a massive sort out which normally fizzles out half way through. Get bored easily, I need input. I loved school and excelled as it was structured and varied and constant input (and I could hyperfocus well in exams etc) but started falling to pieces at university as it demanded more self-organisation. Underperformed in my career especially now I am In managerial role as it’s mostly organising stuff and it doesn’t suit me!

Can I ask whether people on this thread were diagnosed as children or adults? The more I read about it, the more I am convinced I have elements the attention deficiency. I suspect I have masked well as I am outwardly academically successful but I can't help feeling that I could do more if I didn't struggle to express myself logically without losing thread, fail to habe any routine, have the attention span of a gnat, get bored and constantly be looking for something new, have a brain that is always switched on and racing.

But I have no idea how I would get a diagnosis now or if there is even any point? I mean I manage to navigate life ok so what would a diagnosis do for me?

Adult diagnosis for me. It provides me with a) reassurance that I’m not just crap at life and b) medication which I take when I need to focus. I’m really pleased I got the diagnosis.

@ItIsAShameAboutRay

Adult diagnosis for me. It provides me with a) reassurance that I’m not just crap at life and b) medication which I take when I need to focus. I’m really pleased I got the diagnosis.

This is why I want a dx

It explains everything I have ever struggled with.

My issues are mostly around impulse control and focus

@PlanDeRaccordement
Also cannot be bothered enough to say more here.
How true this is for me. It's the mental effort involved. I'd rather talk than write it down. Hence I don't post very often. And when I'm asked to describe what it's like living with ADHD there's so much I could say it just seems all too much. Where to start? And will anyone other than another ADHDer get it? If I get my knickers on in the morning on days I'm not working I'm on a roll and will usually manage to get fully dressed!

So I'll just say I read all the above descriptions and 95% of them describe my experience. I was diagnosed when I was 45, so 15 years ago.

I have ADHD and Dyslexia
My executive functioning is poor and I find starting and finishing tasks difficult.
I work as a speech and language therapist for mainly young children which is the perfect job. I have lots of energy, think outside the box and empathise with their issues.
I can be a bit obsessive and have sensory processing issues too.
I wouldn’t change it though. I like being a bit nuts.

I'd just like to say that I could quote just about every reply on the thread and say "that's me."

I need to get a diagnosis because the more I realise that all of my "faults" and the reason for my "differences" are most likely due to ADHD (& possibly ASD) the sadder it makes me feel - in my fifties now and I feel as though so many ships have sailed that I could have been on if I could have been more organised, ready in time for, bothered to get on, remembered about etc. I've also been taking antidepressants for most of my adult life - for anxiety and depression most likely linked to ADHD.

As a child I was told I was lazy and selfish - labels that I kept internally and never understood why.

BUT, will my GP actually believe me? What if they say it's just my anxiety & depression? I've been under the care of psychiatrists a couple of times, so surely they would have spotted it?

If anyone has been in a similar position and been diagnosed I would appreciate hearing how you went about it please.