Female adhd?

[SunshineOverStress]

Does anyone on here have ADHD?

How does it affect your life?

@heinztomatosoup

Would you ladies mind sharing what jobs you do? My teenage daughter has innatentive ADHD and I am worried about her future career prospects. Like many of you have explained, she has difficulty following more than one instruction, forgets things, is disorganised etc. On the upside she works hard, has initiative and is very willing. I was wondering what sort of job would be a good fit?

Anything fast paced with lots of accountability. What are her areas of interest?

Self diagnosed here. How did any of you get an actual dx? I keep thinking maybe meds would help me actually focus and get stuff done.

@BoundlessBean

The first step is to request a referral from your GP. It can be a very long wait in most areas. When I was first diagnosed ADHD in adults wasn't so much a thing so I ended up going private for the diagnosis with an agreement from my GP that the practice would do the prescribing. I moved a few years ago and decided to try meds again as menopause exacerbated my ADHD . New GP said I had to go and get a diagnosis from the neuro clinic serving our area (NHS) with which the had a shared care agreement.

The GP practice I initially signed up with when I moved did not have a shared care agreement - apparently it was one of two groups in the area who weren't signed up. I don't know why... Might have been because the lead GP was a total arse and up his own too. (He didn't believe in HRT either.) So that might be something to check too - to see how things work in your area.

This weekend has been a massive executive function fail. I've forgotten things, resulting in extra expenses incurred, I've gotten lost because I programmed the satnav incorrectly (a really basic error that I completely overlooked), adding an extra hour to the journey because we had to double back.

It's made me feel like an absolute numpty, and then the litany of all my past stupid mistakes starts on a loop in my head. Ugh.

I'm feeling better this morning, but still have an anxious cloud over my head.

Understand exactly what you mean. I've taken to blaming 'Brian' rather than myself. It's my brain, not me, and I try not to beat myself up about it. But it's hard not to! And I know the Loop of Litany of past cock-ups. I feel I remember all my past 'fails' and the emotions that accompanied them better than all the positive things I've done. It's hard to put in words the feeling when it hits me that Brian has excelled himself again and I look like a prize idiot.

Yes, exactly. I thought everyone did this, but apparently not!

So, I had my appointment with the GP today. He did an ASD form with me, he said the score is out of 10 and anything over 5 means you could be on the spectrum. I scored 9.

He is going to refer me for a formal ASD assessment and said that our primary care trust doesn't have a place to send adults to for ADHD assessments, but to get the ASD done first as that may lead onto an ADHD diagnosis too.

I'm not sure how I feel, other than that my whole life so far has been exhausting trying to be like other people and achieve what they do, and quite often failing. I don't know if that makes sense to you lovely lot - I have a feeling it might.

The GP asked me what I wanted to achieve out of a diagnosis and I said I have approx 15 - 20 years left of my working life, and I'd like to be able to focus on something and actually achieve some of my potential.

He was so nice. Thank you all for this thread

That was a good answer to give the GP. What happens next for you?

Hi @MyOtherProfile , I think I wait for the ASD assessment and from what the GP said that may trigger an ADHD assessment/diagnosis. If it doesn't I think I'll save up to go for a private assessment. My GP said that our postcode is not a good one for adult adhd services.

I just feel relieved that maybe my whole life hasn't been me not trying or working hard enough, or being difficult or selfish, or weird, but that maybe I'm not NT and I've had to work extra hard to learn the social rules that other people just know innately. And that now perhaps I can let myself be me and enjoy the rest of my life. Sounds profound but it's so true!

My biggest fear is that if I do go for a diagnosis the Dr will find nothing and that I’m just deluding myself that I could achieve more and am somehow just utterly crap at finishing anything or not getting distracted.
I feel like I’m getting more and more left behind at work and I have a huge sense of wanting to make a difference but in a very vague way.

Your post has brought tears to my eyes.

This is all so familiar. I’m so glad your GP is helping.
I might bite the bullet tomorrow and phone mine but am so worried that I’m just rubbish vs adhd or it will be put down to menopause and anxiety although am already on hurt and citalopram.

@LowBumsMum

Your post has brought tears to my eyes. This is all so familiar. I’m so glad your GP is helping. I might bite the bullet tomorrow and phone mine but am so worried that I’m just rubbish vs adhd or it will be put down to menopause and anxiety although am already on hurt and citalopram.

You're not rubbish. I'd love just one day of organised thinking - without all the noise and distractions in my head. I honestly get what you say about work. Please make an appointment - write everything down before you go so you don't forget. I feel more forgiving to myself now just from my GP saying he thinks I have ASD. I could go on for hours but it's like lots of coins dropping in the slot - all the things that have made everyday life hard and my whole life I've felt different, and now there could be a reason and it's not because I'm crap or lazy. We have all had to work so much harder just to keep treading water - that makes us amazing!

@Lotsofgoodspunk lolololol

Reported

An update - I had a phone call from the psychologist my GP referred me to yesterday for ASD.

She is going to start the assessment process for autism and is also going to ask my GP to refer me for ADHD assessment.

The ASD assessment takes 2 years for adults in my area apparently, but she said she thinks the ADHD might be a bit quicker.

As I said in my previous post it just makes me feel a bit better to know that maybe I am wired a bit differently to others, and that all of my 'failings' are not because I didn't try hard enough, or was too lazy.

And having forced myself to be (anxiously and unhappily) sociable for the last 35 years I now feel very happy to be quietly (& happily) unsociable.

If anyone on here has any suggestions for apps/books that help with executive function I would really appreciate them - I would love to be able to plan something and stick with the plan and actually finish something I start without getting distracted and starting eleventy billion other things and feel a sense of achievement!

@mybrainhertz

I have adhd and autism. The autism helps with some of the adhd symptoms, but not all.

I'm very restless and can't stop moving and fidgeting.
I can never relax.
My brain constantly races and is about ten thoughts ahead of my mouth, so I can't seem to express myself very well.
I can't seem to get control of my brain - I can't do yoga or read a book because of racing thoughts.
I can't focus or concentrate on things unless I have hyper concentration on something that's grabbed my attention.
I find it difficult to get motivated.
I can't stick with one thing for very long.
I can't complete paperwork.
I get angry.
I'm constantly bored and restless.
I get irritable if I can't do something that I need to do right away.
My thoughts and expression of them lack coherence, especially when speaking.
I can't answer questions properly.
I don't lose stuff or am chaotic because the autism means I'm quite a controlled person so I'm okay in that way.
I'm not that impulsive, again, because of the autism - I'm naturally very cautious.
My educational attainment is poor and way below my IQ level.
I have no patience.
I get depressed, which is a symptom apparently.

There's probably a heap of other stuff, but I can't remember right now.

Another here but not diagnosed

I mean Adhd not Autism

My doctor told me it really doesn't matter if I get a diagnosis or not adhd doesn't impact a adults life like it does a child's I was like
At that moment I realised she really does not have a clue about Adhd

I have spent 80% of my working life either unemployed or signed off with exhaustion. Now I know why - but my attempt to get a diagnosis failed as I was a keen reader as a child
Also my GP told me that if I do get diagnosed I am very likely to be investigated by social services I desperately need to be able to hold a job down, I am mid forties and am so excluded from everything and left behind. Its bleak

@4fingerKitKat

I’m not diagnosed but I think I have inattentive ADHD.

I have good focus but generally on the wrong thing - I can be very precise and organised when my brain is engaged but a complete car crash in other areas of my life. Find admin tasks almost physically impossible. Terrible for starting something and not finishing. House is often a tip then I will have burst of enthusiasm for cleaning and start a massive sort out which normally fizzles out half way through. Get bored easily, I need input. I loved school and excelled as it was structured and varied and constant input (and I could hyperfocus well in exams etc) but started falling to pieces at university as it demanded more self-organisation. Underperformed in my career especially now I am In managerial role as it’s mostly organising stuff and it doesn’t suit me!

Ha. This is me to an absolute tee.

I keep meaning to go for a private diagnosis...but of course, I haven't got around to it yet! On brand.

Yes I'm diagnosed with ADHD. Was diagnosed last November. Things that affect my life are

• Forgetting people's names, misplacing stuff, forgetting what I was told 5 seconds ago and need to ask again. Just generally very forgetful

• Time management is atrocious. I either get there two hours early because I got mixed up and can't read clocks properly it seems. Or running late. No in between

• Executive dysfunction. I know I need to do the thing, like say, have a shower for example. But that bit's missing from my brain. The bit between thinking of doing it and actually doing it, if that makes sense. So something that would have been a 15 mins job, takes 5 hours

-Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. I'm a highly sensitive person in general, but I take criticism very personally and it's not "like water off a ducks back" and gets easier, and never will

-Binge eat. That ones self explanatory. And find it hard to lose weight

-Tired all the time. But I also have sleep apnea, so it's like a double whammy

-Make stupid mistakes

-Find it hard to watch a film without subtitles and even then, I might zone out and think/do something else

-Random bursts of energy at inappropriate times. Particularly at night when I decided it would be a great idea to paint my living room wall at 9pm which leads to my next point of impulsivity. That combined is a recipe for disaster. Still have a half painted wall as I got bored after about 10 mins. This was about a month ago, and is still like that

-Terrible with money and managing money

I know this is a zombie thread but found it searching for ADHD in women because I'm starting to realise this would explain a lot for me.

I heard a radio interview with a woman diagnosed in her forties, and she sounded so like me. And the more I read, the more it makes sense.

The never feeling like I'm achieving what I could/ should, the endless daydreaming, the inability to listen to people without wandering off (literally) while they're speaking, forgetting appointments, mislaying stuff, the terrible procrastination, and writers block, and the fidgety attention where I start ten things at the same time and finish none of them, and how I desperately need deadlines but can't focus on meeting them.

Oh my. I think I've found my people.