Female adhd?

[SunshineOverStress]

Does anyone on here have ADHD?

How does it affect your life?

@JamieFrasersSassenach

I was diagnosed as a teenager, but sort of ignored it and carried on in my haphazard way for another 20 years.

Recently I've purposefully made the effort to understand myself better, and develop routines and methods to help me function better.

Leaving the ex helped - he was a slob and clutterer, he would buy random shit and move stuff around all the time. I have a map in my head of everything in my house, so even if something isn't in a logical place, I can still find it. Especially now that he's gone!

My head is buzzing, constantly. I jump from one topic of conversation to the next with dizzying speed, and to other people they see no connection between the two, but when I slow down and talk through the steps of "X reminded me of Y, which reminded me of Z, which reminded me of A, so then I thought about B and talked about C" they understand. But also look a bit bugeyed and shocked.

I am very, very good in emergency situations. I can see the steps required for action quickly, and then make a list and get it done. High stress and high pressure situations are where I shine, and I'm proud of that.

I'm quite intelligent, I can see the bigger picture and understand complex concepts quickly, I learn very fast:

BUT

If I don't like the topic, if I'm feeling strung out or overextended, I will avoid, avoid, avoid like crazy. I have recently changed jobs, and my new manager is surprised and pleased with my work so far, but I think he's already worried about me burning out. He doesnt know that new ideas, situations and experiences are highly stimulating for me, and therefore enjoyable, and in these situations I take in information and produce work at a rate of knots.

I can never turn my brain off, unless I have had a drink, or I'm doing a particular Kundalini Yoga meditation that helps me focus and slow down.

Honestly though, as tiring as it is to be me, I wouldn't change my brain for anything. I'm creative and capable, and even though the laundry piles up or I can't see the dust, I am doing just fine.

Would you ladies mind sharing what jobs you do? My teenage daughter has innatentive ADHD and I am worried about her future career prospects. Like many of you have explained, she has difficulty following more than one instruction, forgets things, is disorganised etc. On the upside she works hard, has initiative and is very willing. I was wondering what sort of job would be a good fit?

I can relate to most that is written above: Losing things (they just disappear), the unintentional messiness, hyper concentration, daydreaming, my brain hitting a brick wall when it comes to something it doesn't want to do etc. If someone tells me something, I take them literally. And (ironically) thinking - I need to think things through, even simple things that deserve a snap answer. etc etc.

I would love to know how it feels to function like someone who is NT.

A previous boss used to tell me that I was either very good at something or very bad - there was nothing in-between. He was right. (I learnt way too late in life that I needed an active job and not one that involved spending hours sitting behind a desk).

@heinztomatosoup

Would you ladies mind sharing what jobs you do? My teenage daughter has innatentive ADHD and I am worried about her future career prospects. Like many of you have explained, she has difficulty following more than one instruction, forgets things, is disorganised etc. On the upside she works hard, has initiative and is very willing. I was wondering what sort of job would be a good fit?

Jobs that involve me moving around a lot help. Bartender is by far my favourite.

@JamieFrasersSassenach

I took the line with my GP that I thought I probably had ADHD and explained why, and if it wasn't ADHD then it was something else and I needed to know what. (I'd been treated for depression several times over the years and apparently it is common for this to be the case for people with undiagnosed ADHD - a lifetime of apparently being above average intelligence but cocking things up, major forgetfulness, under-achieving, sticking to 'safe' jobs and even then feeling insecure, and not being able to get on and do stuff that most other people just get on and do, can leave your mental resilience battered without there being one specific identifiable reason for it.)
Hopefully most GPs are aware of ADHD in adults these days. They weren't when I started on the process of getting a diagnosis.

It is common to go through a mourning process for 'what might have been' when diagnosed later in life. I still get moments. And it's important to remember that the medication is an aid to clearer thinking but not always a magic pill!

@Therebythedoor

"I'd been treated for depression several times over the years and apparently it is common for this to be the case for people with undiagnosed ADHD - a lifetime of apparently being above average intelligence but cocking things up, major forgetfulness, under-achieving, sticking to 'safe' jobs and even then feeling insecure, and not being able to get on and do stuff that most other people just get on and do, can leave your mental resilience battered without there being one specific identifiable reason for it."

Thank you - that's me.

I don't expect a miracle cure, although to be able to finish something I start every once in a while would be wonderful!!

I will contact my GP this week - I'll aim for it to be tomorrow which means with any luck it will be by Friday .

Thank you again!

@WineAcademy

I was diagnosed as a teenager, but sort of ignored it and carried on in my haphazard way for another 20 years.

Recently I've purposefully made the effort to understand myself better, and develop routines and methods to help me function better.

Leaving the ex helped - he was a slob and clutterer, he would buy random shit and move stuff around all the time. I have a map in my head of everything in my house, so even if something isn't in a logical place, I can still find it. Especially now that he's gone!

My head is buzzing, constantly. I jump from one topic of conversation to the next with dizzying speed, and to other people they see no connection between the two, but when I slow down and talk through the steps of "X reminded me of Y, which reminded me of Z, which reminded me of A, so then I thought about B and talked about C" they understand. But also look a bit bugeyed and shocked.

I am very, very good in emergency situations. I can see the steps required for action quickly, and then make a list and get it done. High stress and high pressure situations are where I shine, and I'm proud of that.

I'm quite intelligent, I can see the bigger picture and understand complex concepts quickly, I learn very fast:

BUT

If I don't like the topic, if I'm feeling strung out or overextended, I will avoid, avoid, avoid like crazy. I have recently changed jobs, and my new manager is surprised and pleased with my work so far, but I think he's already worried about me burning out. He doesnt know that new ideas, situations and experiences are highly stimulating for me, and therefore enjoyable, and in these situations I take in information and produce work at a rate of knots.

I can never turn my brain off, unless I have had a drink, or I'm doing a particular Kundalini Yoga meditation that helps me focus and slow down.

Honestly though, as tiring as it is to be me, I wouldn't change my brain for anything. I'm creative and capable, and even though the laundry piles up or I can't see the dust, I am doing just fine.

OMG I am EXACTLY like this. Down to the work aspects as well. My brain works incredibly fast and I regularly freak people out as I always seem to be 10 steps ahead of everyone else (work plan wise). I digest complex concepts and deliver action plans in record time - which is actually great for my job (I'm an Enterprise Architect) but has always slightly confused me as to why I can do this and others seem not to be able to.

I've never thought of this as ADHD but reading this thread is making me wonder whether I should look into this more. @WineAcademy would be really interesting to hear more about the tools/techniques you have developed to calm your mind down..

I have had SO many jobs/careers - I've got a First Class honours degree, several professional qualifications as well, I work in neither my degree subject nor my professional qualification one (I did for several years but just wasn't organised enough/interested enough to keep going - even though it paid very well.)

I've run my own business - could have done really well but see above re organisation/interest.

I've worked in bars - fab job but awful money. I've worked in care - sooooo bored, see also shops for that.

Currently I'm in an office job which is way below my qualifications and skill level, but it is very varied and very busy - I thrive on pressure at work (as long as I feel able to do the work or it's very fast turnaround type work) as soon as I have a gap in work to do (eg time to think) I lose all motivation. I've been lucky so far in this current job as I've been able to take on new things that I can hyper focus on interest me, and it is part time so not such a drudge. But it is very low pay and I know that I am capable of earning so much more.

Something else that happens to me is if I'm bored I fall asleep. This makes going on work courses very difficult!!! I have been known to fall asleep at my laptop when I was self employed because I found the admin side so tedious!

I loved my degree and had no problem in lectures, but a one hour meeting at work has my eyes crossing within 20 minutes!!

"I'd been treated for depression several times over the years and apparently it is common for this to be the case for people with undiagnosed ADHD - a lifetime of apparently being above average intelligence but cocking things up, major forgetfulness, under-achieving, sticking to 'safe' jobs and even then feeling insecure, and not being able to get on and do stuff that most other people just get on and do, can leave your mental resilience battered without there being one specific identifiable reason for it."

Oh this rings a million bells.

Adhd here. School wanted to have me assessed at 12, parents flatly refused because 'no child of ours would have adhd..' so I struggled through school, struggled with relationships and friendships. Struggled with executive dysfunction, didn't have a clue what it was. Also hyperactivity and hyper focus, again just thought I was a bit of a maniac! I didn't get diagnosed until I was older. I'm unmediated but have managed to turn some of the 'negatives' into positives.

JamieFrasersSassennach I once fell asleep in court when the other side were doing their very boring closing speech (No longer in that job!)

Struggle is a good word to describe ADHD.

@misscockerspaniel

JamieFrasersSassennach I once fell asleep in court when the other side were doing their very boring closing speech (No longer in that job!)

Struggle is a good word to describe ADHD.

@misscockerspaniel I dread getting called for jury service. Am certain I'd end up in contempt of court!

Fell asleep in court during a murder trial while on work experience as a teenager. After that, whenever I fell asleep in meetings as an adult, I tried not to be too harsh on myself because if I couldn't stay awake despite risking contempt of court, what hope was there in a tedious meeting? For a long time I felt sure I had narcolepsy because I had bought into the stereotype of what ADHD allegedly looked like, without realising what it actually looked like in women (me!)

Interestingly when I finally got diagnosed and started medication in my early 40s, I rarely fall asleep in meetings now. Though I do switch off if I'm not actively engaging and fail to follow what is going on.

Medication has made an enormous difference to my career; not least because it massively boosted my self-confidence when it became easier to start and finish projects. Who knew that was what was needed in order to get noticed

Often I find myself working with people who may well have ADHD but don't realise, and it's amazing having people whose brains keep up with mine and don't bat an eyelid at the constant topic jumping all over the place! Though my teenage daughter is diagnosed and her topic jumping drives me crazy; probably because it's not directions I'm interested in

Does anyone have any good strategies for coping with ADHD? I’m thinking particularly getting stuff done and staying organised!

Get a day planner
Write everything down
Have daily timers on your phone for things you mustn't forget
Write everything down
Try not to take on too much
Write everything down

@Boopear

Exercise helps loads.

Mediation that includes chanting and movement (look up kirtan kriya, it's really good), not just clearing your mind of all thought or whatever.

Deep breathing.

Keeping my house as clutter-free as possible is so important. Unfortunately, it's a constant battle, because I am permanently disorganised. But the less stuff I have, the less it floats about and piles up, so I try to limit what I own.

Yes to writing stuff down. I love lists.

I carry too much in my head at once, it feels like I'm spinning 1000 plates sometimes. If I make a list, set a reminder, put it in the calendar, etc, I can put that plate down. Huge help.

@4fingerKitKat

Does anyone have any good strategies for coping with ADHD? I’m thinking particularly getting stuff done and staying organised!

To get the tidying up done I put on a podcast and set a timer for ten minutes. After ten minutes I change room and re-set the timer (small rooms I might only do 5) Takes about an hour to do the house. If I don’t do this I will either not do it at all or I will get stuck on a single job. I also throw away anything I don’t use. I tell myself I value the space and tidyness more than potentially keeping something I might never use. I invite people over which forces me to clean properly sometimes too.

Organisation wise I make lots of lists and set reminders on my phone. Excel sheets and calendar's are great. I have to watch that I don’t get distracted by all the list making sometimes. I also reward myself when a job is done with a glass of wine so I know I have to get on with it if I want that wine.
These strategies tend to work when I’m on a hyper. I find it harder when I’m burned out and need to crash which luckily doesn’t happy too much.

I walk a lot in nature too. Being outside almost totally ‘cures’ me. And I’m totally calm. Sometimes I even let other people talk haha

I'm trying the 'less is better' thing this week (and next). I tidy stuff up - well, sort it into those bright orange Sainsbury bags for life and that's as far as it goes. I have this terrible hoarding instinct and bags of stuff that might be useful. This has only been since I divorced and had an adhd (hyper) man living with me. So now I have no headspace on any front and am sick to death of the colour orange. I'm a terrible keeper of things 'just in case'. Currently very overweight and find myself with tons of clothes I hope to fit into one day. Madness, I know. Off to start clearing now. 15 min intervals has worked for me in the past. It doesn't help that all tip visits are by appointment only...

I have made a doctors appointment - it's 3 weeks away but I'm fine with that. I need to make a list of all the 'symptoms' I have had since childhood and anything else I want to say to the doctor.

Those of you who have had adult diagnosis - am I asking to be referred?

Yes! You are requesting a referral to a psychiatrist - in case (tho' unlikely) GP refers you to a psychologst.

Actually that's unlikely because they've asked for the right sort of info. Good luck

How do your accessed for adhd as an adult?

I've been wondering...and now this thread has made me realise I need to book a GP apt and try to rule it out or get a DX.

There's a LOT of actions I'm ticking in these lists.