As a child, what did you believe to be really true?

EspressoExpresso · 13/02/2021 05:39

😂 so how old were you when you realised you weren't Chinese, and how did you find out?

muppette · 13/02/2021 05:41

@BobISMyUncle

I was convinced that i was Chinese. When I was 6, I remember watching the news, and it stated that every fifth child born was Chinese. I'm the fifth child out of six. 13 years later, I found out that it was "in the world, not your family". Devastated. Even though I always looked in the mirror and thought to myself, you don't LOOK Chinese .......

So you were 19 when you realised not Chinese?!!

muppette · 13/02/2021 05:42

I believed I was the sole person with my first name.

Still do 😉

Lifeinaonesie · 13/02/2021 05:43

😂😂

I thought whenever people said the word 'they' they meant scientists, after asking my brother who 'they' were once and it obviously relating to a news piece about science. So when people said "well they just went to the shops" I imagined white coated people holding test tubes walking around Sainsbury's.

JoanneCofton · 13/02/2021 06:03

I thought that the penis plugged into the vagina like a petrol pump and that it was left there overnight in order to make a baby. I’d obviously got the very wrong end of the stick somewhere along the way!

Lifeinaonesie · 13/02/2021 06:08

@JoanneCofton

I thought that the penis plugged into the vagina like a petrol pump and that it was left there overnight in order to make a baby. I’d obviously got the very wrong end of the stick somewhere along the way!

I'm sure pigs and/or cats have spiky penises that kind of lock in? Maybe not overnight though!

VashtaNerada · 13/02/2021 06:18

I used to believe in god. Not that unusual I know - but my reasoning was that my eldest grandmother believed in god (the only one in my family) and therefore it must be true because intelligence increased with age. I genuinely thought that every day we got more intelligent and that the oldest person in the world must be the cleverest and had all the answers. My nan could have told me literally anything and I’d have believed it!

Trinacham · 13/02/2021 07:08

@JoanneCofton

I thought that the penis plugged into the vagina like a petrol pump and that it was left there overnight in order to make a baby. I’d obviously got the very wrong end of the stick somewhere along the way!

This reminds me of dogs! They get 'stuck' while it does its thing

OccultGnuAsWell · 13/02/2021 07:15

That when you die you find out the answers to all the mysteries in the world. I think this started from Sunday School where there was a big emphasis on Things We Can't Know In This Life and God's ineffable plan.

In my head this meant that anything that couldn't be explained in this world would become clear once you died. So I had a list which included the Marie Celeste, the Bermuda Triangle, what really happened when Atlantis sank and that one in Australia where the girls disappeared at the picnic.

I was a bit hazy as to whether post mortem there would be a specially printed list with the answers or whether the knowledge would just spring fully formed into my mind. But i definitely thought it was something to look forward to.

OhAnotherNameChange · 13/02/2021 07:19

I believed certain fish could fly, it was the only way my parents could get me to eat fish is if it was flying fish.

I also believed my dad when he told me raisins were squashed flies, I wouldn't anything with raisins or sultanas in for years.

NoGoodPunsLeft · 13/02/2021 08:05

My dad told me spare ribs come from an animal called a spare & I believed it for YEARS 🙈

Original poster

BobISMyUncle · 13/02/2021 08:10

I was married at 19, and we'd saved enough, just, for us to be together. Honestly, I found out that I wasn't Chinese, by accident. We had a bonus from work, and it was suggested, that as a treat, we get a take away! Then. I got asked, do you like Chinese food? Of course I do! I'm Chinese! Idiot. That was when I found out.
To be fair, he never laughed.

OP posts:

Riapia · 13/02/2021 09:00

I believed my mum when she told me if I picked my nose a pigs foot would grow on the end.
I believed my Nan that doing baking after gardening was the best way to get the soil from under her finger nails.

Hardbackwriter · 13/02/2021 09:04

I thought that tea was a drink for women and coffee was a drink for men because my mum only drank tea and my dad only drank coffee. I flabbergasted (aged about 13 ) when my parents had work done to the house and the builders all drank tea.

Hardbackwriter · 13/02/2021 09:07

Oh, and I also knew about sperm for a long time before I knew about semen, so I thought if a man ejaculated it would be like a wriggly cloud (which I did not like the thought of). Again, penny only dropped when a more 'experienced' friend made a joke about 'spunk' and I suddenly realised she was talking about a liquid

Impeachtheplum · 13/02/2021 09:16

That people only had sex once for each child they had. Neighbours only had one child so I thought that they would only have done it once etc. My parents had three children so I thought they must have liked it!

Also, I used to naively think God would make everything ok. Whenever anything went wrong in the family, despite not being a particularly religious family (never went to church) I just knew that it would be ok because God would sort it out.

CommunistLegoBloc · 13/02/2021 09:18

@BobISMyUncle

I was convinced that i was Chinese. When I was 6, I remember watching the news, and it stated that every fifth child born was Chinese. I'm the fifth child out of six. 13 years later, I found out that it was "in the world, not your family". Devastated. Even though I always looked in the mirror and thought to myself, you don't LOOK Chinese .......

This is an old and tired joke. I think Tim Vine did it, but probably others. The OP did not think they were Chinese until they were 19, come on people 🙄

Camomila · 13/02/2021 10:01

Our year 1 teacher had a magic plant that grew sweets and he gave us them when we were particularly good.
Looking back he'd cellotaped boiled sweets onto a pot plant! It looked really good to be fair.

I used to think something terrible would happen to you if you cut yourself on metal (probably from hearing mum mention tetanus jabs).

LemonDrizzles · 13/02/2021 11:49

I thought that all data were female and all dogs were male. I was about 7

Snowymcsnowsony · 13/02/2021 11:52

I believed (hopefully) that my dm wasn't my real dm. Was quite disappointed when I saw my bc in my 20's for the first time.

mommybunny · 13/02/2021 12:02

I was convinced I was going to turn into a boy. I was at that time the only girl in a family with 3 brothers. Funnily enough I was also around 6 at the time (is this the age when we start taking on all these bonkers beliefs)? It wasn’t something i necessarily wanted to happen - I just thought it was a done deal. It probably came about because my brothers were close in age and had each other to play with and didn’t want to play with me and I was lonely. Once my mother had my sister when I was 7 I don’t remember thinking that anymore.

I was also convinced that once I turned into a boy I would like orange juice and ketchup, because I didn’t like them and my brothers did.

I am a cis hetero female 47 years later but nowadays I suspect such talk might have gotten me an appointment at the Tavistock clinic.

hauntedvagina · 13/02/2021 12:06

I thought that white dogs did the white dog poo.

DoItYourselfNeverHappensAtOurs · 13/02/2021 13:02

I belived that bum was spelt 'bumb' like dumb. I had a rip roaring argument with someone about it.

OrangeBananaFish · 13/02/2021 13:12

I thought Margaret Thatcher was a real life witch with a broomstick and black cat. She was on the news (well she was PM at the time) and my dad said she was so my 5YO self genuinely thought she had a pointy hat and a black cloak flying around on a broomstick

partyatthepalace · 13/02/2021 13:15

@BobISMyUncle

I was married at 19, and we'd saved enough, just, for us to be together. Honestly, I found out that I wasn't Chinese, by accident. We had a bonus from work, and it was suggested, that as a treat, we get a take away! Then. I got asked, do you like Chinese food? Of course I do! I'm Chinese! Idiot. That was when I found out. To be fair, he never laughed.

You pushed the story too far there OP