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How to fob off nosy school mum

79 replies

WaterWithSomething · 10/02/2021 09:17

Already dreading the return to school and school run. There is a mum in dc's class who always talking badly about other mums and their kids behind their back. She can be super friendly and warm too when she wants something but dismissive and cold when she wants to put people in their place. She's managed to turn lots of the mums against a really lovely mum and her dc just because she doesn't like her.

The problem is that she has a habit of asking intrusive of personal questions on the school run either on the way to school or waiting by the gates. When people answer these questions in good faith she responds in a dismissive and condescending way. I think she's quite insecure and hyper competitive.

My question is how do I deflect these questions about my life. It's not like "how's work" or whatever normal small talk but digging deep and interrogating people about their husbands, work, children's school work and hobbies in front of the other mums. For example, ds1 is in Y7 in grammar school and this mum constantly asks questions about the eleven plus, did we tutor, how come he managed to get in, how grammar schools are not fair for others. She does this when we're dropping the kids off and i feel really put on the spot. There is something intense and aggressive in her tone.

How do I shut her up without being rude?

OP posts:
BluebelllsRosesDaffodills · 13/02/2021 11:55

@Inpeace

I think how it changed me also is I am wary of friendly people!

She had the same walk to school as us and would stop on a corner having arranged to meet another mum and kids who would arrive as we passed - all would ignore us then follow close behind
For the ten minute walk.
My dc snubbed if they tried to interact with the three classmates :(

Prior she had been all oh come round to mine after school, come to the zoo with us, I’ll collect you and we can go to x reception child birthday party together.

In fact I couldn’t always accept and that may have been my crime - who knows.

She is a MH nurse and should know better :(

Say loudly to your dc, as you go past ‘It’s rude to ignore people and not say good morning’ etc. Might embarrass her!
Beetlewing · 13/02/2021 12:10

Headphones.

billy1966 · 13/02/2021 13:26

I can't bear nosey people.

The masks should help.

Do hard of hearing.

Time yourself to arrive bang on time and be in a rush to leave.

If you focused it is possible to avoid.

Awful for you.
Flowers

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Aaaaaah · 13/02/2021 14:49

Go and stand with the other lady she is horrible to. Show some solidarity. She sounds so insecure, it would drain me
Pity her

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