I hate being a parent

[OhToBeASeahorse]

I'm not after advice. I dont have PND..I just needed to say it.

Anybody else like to join me?

Do you always hate being a parent or just right now?
Right now is massively hard and draining and yes, today I feel miserable and "hate" it. Especially in my new role as a completely single parent.
I know though that I don't really and I certainly don't hate hate my child. It's just really hard and relentless sometimes.

I hope you feel better soon
How old is your baby? X

How old is your DC? I have days when I am not happy (looking at you, Home-Schooling!), but I had days when I wasn't happy before I had children.

Can you say a bit more about what's going on?

I'm sure most of parents have times when they/we hate being a parent.

It's not been forever but it's been a little while.

DC are 2.5 and 4 months.

Well you're in the thick of it. Two little kids in the middle of a pandemic. It must be really hard.

It passes, this hard stage, it really does. You'll love them again.

Yes, I do sometimes feel like that and just want to be left alone.

@Guineapigbridge you've just made me cry. I'm trying so hard to be positive but my toddler is a nightmare and my baby is clingy. Argh.

That sounded like I was having a go at you - what i meant was that u have explained how I feel and I appreciate that

Both of your kids ages are really hard going. Let alone together!!

It will get better. The older one will be able to be a little more independent soon.

I did too when DS was 2.5. He was hard work and didn't sleep. I always adored him but blimey it was hard, and I only had him.

He's nearly 5 now and everything is so much easier, I can't believe how much more pleasurable it is even in a pandemic!

Be kind to yourself.

10 years ago I had a small baby and a toddler. I hated being a parent then. The relentlessness of it, the drudgery, the constant worry, the sleeplessness. I was a wreck. And there wasn’t even a pandemic.

Look, the ages your DCs are are bloody hard work at the best of times. Let alone during a global health crisis. This is the hardest bit IME. I thought it would never pass, never get better, that I’d hate it forever. It DID pass, it DID get better and I no longer hate being a parent. My DCs are delightful (mostly!) and make me smile every day.

It will get better for you too. It really will.

Sympathies and no judgment from me.

Thanks everyone. The worry is overwhelming. I could start about 10 threads on issues right now.

DP and I often - after a hard day - comfort each other with the words, 'at least they are the age they are'. DC are 8 and 10. Able to speak coherently, listen and have some understanding but not so big they have exam pressure or expect to see friends independently. The ideal ages for a pandemic, lol!
I can't imagine parenting your children at the moment. It must be so tough. You are allowed to feel unhappy. I have no practical advice. I was told to be kind to myself, and I've never really worked out how to do that properly. Try to rest. It will get better xx

I hear you. I have an 18 month gap between my two and the first year was tougher than I could have imagined. They are now 3 and 2 and while it's still hard, it is easier than those early days and sleep has improved (which has been a game changer.) Days are long and hard with lockdown though. Know you aren't alone and know that it does get easier.

God you're all lovely. Thanks.
I've treated DS to a present.

Your kids are at an extremely hard age. Mine are 4, 5 and 8 and it honestly feels like a fog has lifted in the last 2 years. Don't beat yourself up, it will get easier.

Mine are 12 and 14 now. I really struggled with the baby years. It is just relentless drudgery. DD2 just didn’t sleep and I need my sleep. I was quite broken to be honest.

Being in lockdown again with small kids must be so hard.

I have found it so much easier as they got older though and I hope you will too OP. Cliche I know but be kind to yourself.

My youngest hits me. A lot. That is one of the worst aspects of being a parent at the moment.

I had that age gap too. Now they are 16. and 13. It’s very hard. Let alone in a pandemic.
It does get better.
Do nice things for yourself. An all in one suit and warm wellies were Life savers.
Oh and giving them to DH and getting out of the house sometimes. Even if just walking round the super market really slowly. Buying a magazine and sitting in the car in the car Öl and Reading it.
Oh and sometimes when they were both safely strapped into the buggy I would put my ear plugs in so I couldn’t hear them. And take them for a walk.

You are properly in the thick of it with two small people who need you and there’s a pandemic. I found two children much harder than having one. Being torn between them when they both need you is so hard especially when you can’t get out and about for a break. Is your 2yo in nursery?

Those ages are so much work already without covid. Mine are 3 and 5 now and the fog has lifted a lot. If this was 3 years ago I would not be coping. All the things that kept me sane - nursery for toddler, play groups, play dates, grandparents visiting etc are not available to you and I’m sure it’s incredibly hard!