I hate being a parent

[OhToBeASeahorse]

I'm not after advice. I dont have PND..I just needed to say it.

Anybody else like to join me?

Please don't feel bad for feeling that way OP, it's understandable to feel overwhelmed when you're exhausted and looking after young children during a pandemic. I'm sure it will get better for you though

Oh OP we've all been there ....I'm there for 2 hours every weekday at the moment!
There is light at the end of the tunnel

You're in the trenches, it must be so hard. I have 1 and it's hard. Life will be so different in just a short time and you'll get more balance back.

I was just thinking the same, hating the terrible twos, thinking of just wearing earplugs all day, my head hurts daily! I just keep trying to remind myself it's just a phase 🤷‍♀️ hope it gets better for you soon! X

I had a similar age gap. Zero family help.I'm afraid I outsourced a lot of it and went back to work pt, DC 1 at four months and DC 2 at five months.
I instantly felt 1000% better. It didn't really get a lot easier until the younger was about 3, and I wasn't prepared to wait that long.
Now 18 and almost 16 and never a seconds regret.

Feeling your pain OP, I have a 4yo and 9mo baby. Today I took them to MacDonalds drive thru. Not something I would usually do but the novelty of it was amazing and powered us all up for another 2 hour stint in the playground. Sometimes I wonder WTF am I doing? Would I choose to spend my days visiting MacDonalds and hanging out in playgrounds? No. Being a parent is really bloody boring sometimes. Yes I miss my old life. But I love my girls. And I really hope when they're older it'll be more fun. Can't wait for covid to f. off though. When we could actually visit people and have proper playdates (especially once older DD could actually play and I could have a coffee with a friend) it was a nice way to spend a day. None of that at the moment. Just more cold playgrounds and rainy walks. And CBeebies.

I hated being a mum. Hated it. My oldest was such a hard baby. She had reflux and she cried all the bloody time.
I used to sit next to the washing machine weeping to down out her crying when my DH came home from work.
My HV told me to walk.. and if even if passers by hear her cry at least its only for seconds.
I used to put headphones in and walk for hours. Slowly it got better and my second was easier.
They are both older now and life is so much better than it was.
Be kind to yourself. They are tough times. The feeling of being grabbed all the time and never feeling like my body was my own used to make me want to scream.

I handed her to DH while I pumped. She's cried the whole 15 minutes.

Oh OP.

I have that age gap between mine. They're 11 and 9 now. It's lovely, I promise!

I remember feeling very very overwhelmed sometimes when they were tiny though.

It will get better.

It also used to piss me off no end that people would suggest depression / PND. NO. Parenting small children, especially not straightforward 'easy babies' is a relentless, exhausting, boring, thankless soul destroying, hot sleepless mess. It's hard as fuck to the point of impossible at times and I considered running away to start a new life in Guatemala reguarly.

Yes! I was on a thread the other day where the OP was struggling with an 8 week old non sleeping, velcro baby. She got lots of head tilting advice to contact her GP to talk about her mood, and other posters telling her to savour the cuddles. NO. She needed to be told that it's shit, she's doing well, it will get easier and to just do what she can to get through the day until then. Does my head in.

Yes yes yes all of these posts!!

Also a bit of fucking help from a partner friend or relative goes a long way yet so many women seem to have so little support - or sadly lots of people in their lives who won't offer support