Neighbours' noise making my life a misery

[WWJWD]

Just wanted to rant really because realistically I don't think there's anything I can do apart from move house.

NDN has two teens.
One of them has her bedroom next to mine (terraced house) and spends every night chatting on her phone into the early hours. Her laugh is really loud and annoying and it carries through the whole house at night.

If I put the radio or soft music on to try and block the sound out while I try to sleep she bangs on the bloody wall. Every night this week I've nodded off to sleep around 11, only to be woken up by her constant screeching laugh at around 12.30/1am. I have to get up early for work and I'm knackered and miserable.

Several times I've tried asking them politely to keep the noise down after 11 - when I do, it stops for a while, only for her to start up again a few days later. I get that it's hard for teenagers, but this is next level selfish isn't it? I have my adult children living at home during lockdown and they like to chat on FaceTime with their mates so it's not like we're living like reclusive monks - normal family noise is fine - but they know to stop after 11 at night.

I'm tired and grumpy and it's making me so miserable that I am starting to feel actual hatred for these people. We've lived here nearly 20 years and had three lots of neighbours before this lot who've all been lovely and considerate. I miss them.

(We can't afford a detached house before anyone helpfully pipes up with that idea.)

Any miracle solutions? Are there any amazingly comfortable earbuds which I can sleep in (side sleeper) and which will block out noise while I listen to lovely soothing sounds? I just want to sleep.

I have a similar thing but I have next doors bathroom next to my room and I can hear literally everything. I've taken to sleeping in noise cancelling headphones and listening to music or podcasts in a low volume setting. Saved me from going crazy. Every little noise woke me up and then I couldn't get back to sleep. Have you even tried white noise?

Blimey, what a selfish bloody cow she sounds!! Can just imagine the screeches, am living myself with a young woman upstairs whose laugh goes right through me, screeching with her mates online, but thankfully she’s a bit older and does pipe down after 11.

Sorry to say but earplugs might be the only option. Foam ones aren’t so bad, you get used to them. I use them because I’m a really light sleeper and there’s lots of traffic noise here. I still wake up for my alarm.

But I can’t imagine why this family thinks it’s acceptable for her to screech down the phone all night.

Our next door neighbours bathroom attaches to our bedroom wall and we could hear everything. We soundproofed the upstairs adjoining walls ourselves and it has blocked all airborne noise completely. Might be worth doing if you have a few pounds and are diy capable.
We built a wooden frame with thin padding behind each wooden post, filled the gaps with thick insulation, then covered the top with 2 layers of soundproof plasterboard the second layer put on in a different direction to cover the joins on the first layer, then had the whole lot skimmed. Cost about £1000 to do all our upstairs adjoining walls, took a weekend for the building and another day for the skimming and made a massive difference.

I did find a white noise podcast for children on the BBC app which I had a quick listen to last night, it sounded a bit alien but maybe it's something I could get used to? I think by that point I was so on edge that every sound was making me twitchy! I love it when it is a stormy night with lots of heavy rain to mask the noises from next door. Maybe there's a sound like that I could listen to.

I listen to rain/thunder noise on my headphones when I can’t sleep or on long journeys on public transport. I find it really relaxing and it blocks everything out a treat.

Wax earplugs work for me (side sleeper), the foam ones just pop out. Also have selfish late night door slamming neighbours

Could you try banging on the wall when she’s noisy?

@WWJWD I am in a very similar situation and just wanted to say I know exactly what you’re going through and it’s crap.
Was woken up multiple times last night and just feel so tired today. Every night wondering “will they be noisy tonight?”
I use ear-plugs, the green foam ones which are ok at blocking out light sound but still got woken up last night nevertheless. I also use background sounds from the Calm app.
Could you consider moving to a different room to sleep?

The trouble is that you get into a situation where you’re on edge even if they’re NOT making noise, and you’re just sort of waiting to be disturbed, it’s horrible.

Sounds horrible.

Could you record the screeching on a couple of occasions, play them them the recording and really spell out to them that it's not acceptable and she HAS to go downstairs if she wants to do this during the night.

If that doesn't work, I would be sorely tempted to sleep downstairs one night, and leave the recording playing all night on a loop in your room. Or maybe just tell them you will do that, if it keeps happening

As recommended by someone on Mumsnet I bought a Bluetooth headband which is made of memory foam and doubles as an eye mask. I connect to rain sounds on Spotify and it helps drown out the sound of snoring might be worth a try for you. I hope your wake up routine in the morning is suitably noisy, maybe get an air horn, or recording of a helicopter landing

I'm living next door to a young woman who sings the same three or four show tunes pretty much every evening at the top of her voice, with lots of feeling. The sound of her voice actually makes me feel sick now. She starts at 4 or 5pm, which is when I'm still working. So I feel your pain, although you definitely have it worse.

Yes, second the suggestion of a noisy alarm!

"If I put the radio or soft music on to try and block the sound out while I try to sleep she bangs on the bloody wall"
See I'd ignore the banging and put music on every night regardless so she gets used to it being on. Get in the habit, put on music, put in earplugs (to ignore the banging) and I guarantee that after a week she'll have realised her banging doesn't work and if she doesn't want the music she'll have to keep her noise down.
That said I use ear plugs all the time as Dh snores and I couldn't sleep without them now, maybe you could try a few types to find ones that work for you.

I can see it from both sides, yes it's annoying but talking on the phone is not something that is unreasonable, lots of young people especially at the moment have become nocturnal. My dd stays in the downstairs office until very late, 3,4 - this is a reasonable compromise we think. Ultimately it's not her fault the walls are thin - I live in a terraced house and never hear my neighbours either side nor us them, I checked! If houses are insulated for noise everyone is so much happier! I'm cutting young people a lot of slack I know but their lives have been completely screwed up by the pandemic, sometimes irreversibly, so talking to their friends etc is a way of coping.

Hi op we live in a block of flats and although neighbors are all nice we hear lots of noise and we moved from a detached house so we were not used to it at all, my husband and I have an Alexa in our room and our toddler has one in his room, every night I just say "Alexa play rain noise, or Alexa play thunder storm noise ect. " (which is my fave) you can ask her to "loop on" which means it plays continuasly all night. it really does help, hopefully the rude teen will get bored soon and stop anyway! Good luck .

I have a pair of headband type headphones, and they are very comfortable to wear at night. Have a quick search on Amazon - they aren't too pricey either, maybe £20 ish off the top of my head?

I also have an app called Moshi (you do have to pay for it unfortunately) that I use for the kids - it has stories to lovely music, meditation and also sounds - I listen to the Moshi umbrella which is the sound of rain and I LOVE it and find it so relaxing.

Maybe that would help?

Good luck OP xx

Night shift worker here, live next to busy noisy London road and park where the local drunks like to congregate. I second wax ear plugs. Very comfortable and don’t fall out.

@Hibernatingnation

Wax earplugs work for me (side sleeper), the foam ones just pop out. Also have selfish late night door slamming neighbours

I use wax earplugs too. Have done for many years now. Nothing else can touch them for performance.

I use Quies. If the noise is still bothersome you can mold two together to form a bigger plug for each ear. You'll hear nothing like this, and I mean nothing. Life changing!

We're gradually saving up and soundproofing the party wall in each room. It's costing us about £400 per room, doing it ourselves. Hasn't completely blocked out the noise but softens it. My 3 year old hasn't slept in her room since last March thanks to our new neighbours so I feel your pain.

@SmidgenofaPigeon

Blimey, what a selfish bloody cow she sounds!!

You realise you are talking about a girl? Possibly a child of 13 years old?

I would ask again, explain exactly what you hear and what time and what it’s doing

Then when it starts just bang in the wall, each and every time

If you don’t want to move then soundproofing is your best option, double skin with soundproof plasterboard board, relatively simple job for a competent handyperson

@DumplingsAndStew you don’t think a 13 year old can be selfish?!

IF she is as young as13, which I doubt, then she shouldn’t really be allowed to stay up all night screeching on the phone to her mates. If she’s older, she should have a bit more self-awareness. Teenage girls CAN be selfish bloody cows, don’t be so precious.