Neighbours' noise making my life a misery

[WWJWD]

Just wanted to rant really because realistically I don't think there's anything I can do apart from move house.

NDN has two teens.
One of them has her bedroom next to mine (terraced house) and spends every night chatting on her phone into the early hours. Her laugh is really loud and annoying and it carries through the whole house at night.

If I put the radio or soft music on to try and block the sound out while I try to sleep she bangs on the bloody wall. Every night this week I've nodded off to sleep around 11, only to be woken up by her constant screeching laugh at around 12.30/1am. I have to get up early for work and I'm knackered and miserable.

Several times I've tried asking them politely to keep the noise down after 11 - when I do, it stops for a while, only for her to start up again a few days later. I get that it's hard for teenagers, but this is next level selfish isn't it? I have my adult children living at home during lockdown and they like to chat on FaceTime with their mates so it's not like we're living like reclusive monks - normal family noise is fine - but they know to stop after 11 at night.

I'm tired and grumpy and it's making me so miserable that I am starting to feel actual hatred for these people. We've lived here nearly 20 years and had three lots of neighbours before this lot who've all been lovely and considerate. I miss them.

(We can't afford a detached house before anyone helpfully pipes up with that idea.)

Any miracle solutions? Are there any amazingly comfortable earbuds which I can sleep in (side sleeper) and which will block out noise while I listen to lovely soothing sounds? I just want to sleep.

If neighbours are not listening to your requests then you can escalate it. Most local councils with have a team that deals with antisocial behaviour /noise etc and can advise you on your rights. And they will write to neighbours advising them that they are required to keep the noise down. It won't help your relations with your neighbours but if it's such a problem that can barely function, it may be the only option open to you. (We had to get local council involved after one of our previous neighbours to took having drunken, noisy karaoke parties that went into the early hours mid-week.)

It might be worth having one last attempt at reasoning with the neighbours first. Tell them the impact it's having on you.

I’d second the sleep headband type earphones, they work well. I got in the habit of sleeping with a noise in my ears as my DH was a terrible snorer. But he now has a sleep apnoea machine so is quiet, but I find I sleep much better with sound.

I use a pink noise sound on Spotify, so free to listen as I already subscribe to Spotify if that makes sense. It’s more gentle than white noise.

I can hear my neighbour snoring, drives me mad!

I bought the headphone band like @TaylorSwaft and it doesn’t block everything but does certainly help. I would recommend it.

Sound proof the wall? Seems quite straightforward to do (I've considered it myself).

Cross post @Rainydays14 Maybe you’re my neighbour? 😂

“We can't afford a detached house before anyone helpfully pipes up with that idea.)”

I hear you.
Second only to “I’m surprised they got planning permission” in its unhelpfulness...

Lullabo is a free android app with lots of white noise, nature noise, as well as lullaby tunes.

I used it for my newborn, but now he's nearly 2, I still use it just for me, when DH snores or nextdoor have people over. Definitely recommend it. I use it out loud, it's "backgroundy" enough that it wont bother anyone, it doesn't even wake my husband 2ft away.

It's true everyone is more on edge these days, especially when there's no escape from other people. I have lots of sympathy for teenagers when their only social life is online, I really do, and I don't want to get into a tit for tat war of who can make the most noise. I think I'd just end up even more stressed and sleep deprived. It won't stop me hoovering first thing tomorrow morning, mind. Lots and lots of hoovering, especially those skirting boards. That might make them shit up

I will definitely bang the wall back in future if that continues. I'll also carry on having words with them about it.

I love the sound of those sleep band headphones... do any of you have a particular make you can recommend?

I'm also going to measure up to see if I can shift the furniture around to the other side. The bedroom is a weird layout so might not be possible, but it's got to be worth a try.

I would seriously consider your DIY idea. Drilling next her wall at 8am. They sound like the type of people who would only respond to a direct response like that. Go for it. And she is a selfish cow, whether 13 or 17. I know I was at that age but thankfully I had responsible parents to steer me in the right direction.

Shrieking down the phone so the neighbours can hear in the night IS unreasonable

If this is what the young girl is doing, then the OP was also blasting her soft music. The fact is that the walls are paper thin.

I would look into sound-proofing. The idea of putting a wardrobe up against that wall is a good one.

@mootymoo lots of people have suffered over the last year, I really don't think it means that people should forget how to treat others, including neighbours. DS is 17 and yes, I have cut him some slack with some things but this situation isn't fair on the OP or her family at all. She has to get up for work and is only asking for some quiet after about 11pm, which is not unreasonable imo.

She doesn't seem to have any issue with banging on the wall so can't you do the same every time you are disturbed?

@SatsumasOrClementines not mine, fortunately our bedroom is at the detached side of the house, I’d have hated to think he was waking the neighbours! Bet your neighbour also has sleep apnoea, it took me ages to persuade DH to get checked out but it has made my life so much quieter!

Leave radio 4 on loudly when you have finished hoovering. Shut the door and carry on with your day!

A White noise machine saved my sanity from neighbours, by no means would drown out all noise but prob (hopefully) most of the talking/laughing and you need to place it near the source of noise. I think this is a more modern version of the one I bought about 6 yrs ago, mnie is still going strong.

www.amazon.co.uk/Marpac-Dohm-Classic-White-Machine/dp/B0?tag=mumsnetforu03-21 The best of luck, excessive neighbour noise is beyond awful.

Bose sleep buds - DH is a loud snorer and these drown him out!

[quote SmidgenofaPigeon]@DumplingsAndStew

I think it’s fine to call a 17 year old a selfish cow, when they are being a selfish cow, screeching and laughing loudly and banging on the wall at a time when most people need to be asleep because they have work the next day. A seventeen year old is old enough to understand that that is entitled and selfish behaviour, whatever her personal circumstances might be currently.

I stand by my earlier comment that you sound quite precious.[/quote]
You didn't know she was 17 when you called her a selfish cow.

I’d record it and play it to the parents. Surprised they aren’t bothered by the noise themselves tbh.

Why don't you just bang on the wall when she screeches?

I assumed @DumplingsAndStew that she was not a young teenager from the description as she was up all night unchecked on the FaceTime, and it turned out I was right. What an odd thing for you to get worked up about!

@WWJWD

I did find a white noise podcast for children on the BBC app which I had a quick listen to last night, it sounded a bit alien but maybe it's something I could get used to? I think by that point I was so on edge that every sound was making me twitchy! I love it when it is a stormy night with lots of heavy rain to mask the noises from next door. Maybe there's a sound like that I could listen to.

OP there is an ap you can get (on iPad at least) capped RainyNight. You can blend rain, wind, the sea and campfire sounds to make your perfect background noise- it’s so soothing.

Though if she banged on the wall at me she would get it back in spades.

For me if you’ve repeatedly asked for them to keep the noise down then the next thing I’d do is leave loud music on when I get up for work . I mean that would upset the noisy teen as she probably sleeps till lunch.
Fight fire with fire , if they complain say sorry did it disturb you like I’ve been complaining about the noise .

Sounds childish but I would be very tempted to make noise in the morning when she’ll be asleep!

Don't worry. I will be banging the walls in return from now on. My youngest is away at university so I will be sleeping in her room if it's noisy again tonight, and - oops! - I might forget to turn off my radio if I get really tired and forgetful in my sleep deprived state (up til now I've only turned the radio on as a last resort to try and block out the noise, but now I'm at the end of my tether, so sod it).

Honestly. I'm a reasonable, peaceable person who's always got on with neighbours in the past. I'd be fine with the occasional party or late night, but every single night after bloody night is torment. I have tried to talk about it as adults should, but I've had enough.

It sounds like she's got her boyfriend over tonight so it looks like it's going to be another late one. Lockdown rules don't apply to them then

Our houses are three storeys high and I think the parents are on a different floor so maybe don't hear her.

In the long term I'll look into soundproofing or maybe I'll ask dd if she'd mind swapping rooms now she's not using hers so much.

OP I absolutely feel your pain. My bedroom used to be adjoined to the teenager next door's who also used to bang back when I would bang if he was loudly shrieking or singing at gone midnight. I used to want to go round there in my dressing gown and bang on the door (never did) but I was livid. I would NEVER have been brave enough to bang back to the neighbours when I was younger, I would have been scared stiff that they were going to tell my parents and I'd get told off!

I would 100% bang back on the wall and leave your music on all night (or at least for a few hours) while you sleep in another room. Unfortunately sometimes the only way to get through to these sorts of people is with a taste of their own medicine. I would also set a loud very early morning alarm right next to the adjoining wall while you sleep in another room - and sleep through it!

Please come back and update us with how tonight goes - hope you get a good nights sleep!