How do I make myself like being a mum?

[RokosBasilDish]

I don’t enjoy motherhood. How do I force myself to like it?

Stop fighting it,embrace it, it is who you are...beautiful...

What age is your child? I think a lot of people like some ages better than others.

I hated the baby stage; enjoying the toddler stage but I think that once they can dress themselves and use the bathroom on their own, I'm going to love it.

Bit more context needed OP... how old is/are your DC, for a start?

I disagree. How old is your child/children?
Being a mother is part of who I am, it is not the only thing I am.

I didn't say it was the only thing she is...

Oh god I couldn't have written this. For me work mkws me a better mom, I'm not cut out for sahp. Mat leave broke me and pnd.

Ds is 2.5 and won't nap. So we've done painting, cooked cookies, played trains, played postbox game lasted 2 min literally, and been for a walk to feed ducks. He's now watching hey Dougie and I'm clock watching for bedtime as he's over tierd but will not nap.
I like him and obv live him but 3 days of that in lcokdown and I'm ready for work Monday so my brain wakes up!

There's no law requiring you to like it. Some stages can be shit, why pretend? Focus on coping strategies instead

I'm not sure that's the right question.

What is it you dislike so strongly?
Have you always felt this way or is it more recently that you've disliked it so?

There can be a lot of drudge work involved in being a parent - or in having any caring responsibilities- and a lot of it is done by mothers rather than fathers in many families.

How old are your children? Can you articulate exactly what you do/don’t like about being a mother?

Son is 15 months. I sit on the floor to play with him but he’s not interested. He’s hyper and noisy. The noise and monotonous days are the things I dislike the most about being a mother.
I thought with becoming a mother Id become more patient, but I’m more impatient. I spend my days crying and trying not to shout at him as he destroys the room.
I’ve tried breathing techniques to help me stay calm. It didn’t help.
Do I need to just pretend I’m happy and eventually I might start to feel that way for real?

Some people aren't cut out for it. The fact is, lots of people regret having children.

If you don't enjoy the days with him, don't do them. Put him in nursery and go back to work. You'll both be better of for it.

That is a really tough age OP. I have an almost 5 year old and I was thinking today about how bloody hard it was when she was little. Pretty much all my memories of her before about age 2.5 are tinged with me also remembering how on-edge, lonely and low I felt. I have a 2 year old now also, and although he’s hard work it feels a lot easier because I have my 5 year old too, I can see how great and funny they become. It will get better

You can love your children but not like aspects of motherhood. I found this stage hard, too. It was easier when my children learned to communicate.

DS5 is still hyper and noisy but it's much easier now that his energy and noise can be channelled a bit and feels like it has more purpose!

Everything is a phase but it doesn't feel like it at the time. for you OP.

I don't regret having my children but acknowledge that sometimes motherhood is just shite. You're transformed from independent woman to household skivvy. 15 months is hard too because you still get so little back. I think they get better from 18 months or so on. Even better at school age where you can have proper conversations.

Cut yourself some slack, use childcare and interact in the adult world where you can. Also if you feel very low it might be worth seeing your GP about PND, hormones can drag on and make things harder for years, it's not wrong to look for help. Good luck!

The reasons I enjoy being a mother are mainly down to the fact I get support and time to myself. I enjoy the time to myself but actually miss DS when I am not with him. I appreciate him so much more because I experience time apart from him. The support I get means I haven't lost my sense of self. Do you get support and time to yourself?

With the points above aside, I found the first few months really hard and felt like I wasn't cut it out for it. It can take some people months or even years before they enjoy motherhood. I wasn't much of a fan of the newborn stage at all whereas some absolute wierdos loved it!

I found 14-20 months really challenging.
They are mobile but can't really do much.
My eldest is 2.1 and already easier. He can communicate so much better.
I also have a six month old, so it'll be coming again soon!!

That is definitely the worst age for me - mobile, angry, uncommunicative, destructive. Urgh.

But when they start talking properly it got so much more enjoyable for me.

So yes, survival. Routine, fixed activities each day to keep the progress of time marching on and make the most of naps

I have a 14 month old. He yells all day long, he can't get across what he means so he just yells. He's also recently learned to crawl so he takes off across the room just about all the time. You don't have to like it, I don't. I do have faith that things will get easier though, can you go back to work? Being away from him for a little time does me the world of good.

You’re not the only one, my DC is younger at 8m but at the stage where he’s almost crawling almost walking and wobbly as hell but wants to get everywhere and to everything. I feel like I spend my life stopping him falling to his death and/or figuring out why he’s frustrated.

15 months is a really difficult age. Old enough to be mobile and destructive and get bored, but not old enough to leave by themselves for more than 2 minutes or to have more than 2 minutes concentration span or any social conscience whatsoever.

Also, I have to wonder whether you're acknowledging to yourself how much harder lockdown makes this. Most mothers of young toddlers survive by spending a lot of time out of the house where the DC have plenty to distract them and keep them interested, and by seeking out the company of other mothers. These extremely basic things are practically impossible to access right now. Being aware of it doesn't make it easier, but it does at least mean you can rationalise part of why you're finding it so hard and be reassured that it's not your fault. It will almost certainly get better, as your DS gets older and mass vaccinations mean things start to open up again.

I feel for anyone with a toddler at the moment. I love both my kids, but baby and toddler years were really annoying and/or boring. I survived it by being out of the house as much as possible, or meeting friends/other mums at my house, their house, some sort of child friendly activity.

I hate the baby stage. The toddler stage is cute and they start being able to do things for themselves and tell you what they want. Older than that and they start talking back but at least I don't have to wipe bums anymore.
I had pnd with both of mine and I never realised at the time..its difficult to see when you're in the midst of it honestly.
I found i got better wheb they got older.
Hang in there and definitely speak to your gp too.

Not easy in lockdown.
I didn’t enjoy playing toys. However I did like taking them to the park followed by coffee and cake to see people.
Or feeding ducks ...,,
All dull but preferred to be outside than sat in. Or even walk round the town just to see someone.
Make a schedule . 10am out . 12 lunch followed by tv . 2 nap time ? 3:30 garden 4:30 bath which could last a hr with toys and bubbles .... or stickers that they had to peel from hobbycraft used to last a good hr 🤣🤣🤣 I found it easy to stick to a schedule that a “plain / boring day”

I used to celebrate when the night garden came on tv !!!! Bed in 10 mins 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Good luck it gets easier x

Do you work op?