I think mine is huge and I’m so so so proud of myself!
I have generalised anxiety disorder and have had it since my teens. I am 30 weeks pregnant with baby 2 and have severe pre natal anxiety and depression (had severe PNA, PTS and PND after my first). Over Christmas DH and I bit the bullet and paid for private therapy, I’ve learnt so much about how my brain works, and techniques to cope and have worked really really hard at everything my therapist has given me.
Today I had what felt like the first real test of the work I’ve done and techniques I’ve learnt.
I had a growth scan which I attended alone (baby measuring small). I then had a blood test sprung on me unexpectedly - needles are a huge panic trigger for me. Breastfeeding and other mums is also a huge trigger and I avoid speaking to other mums like the plague to avoid any discussion of bfing (bfing caused the PTS and PND with my first)
Not only did I have to do the scan alone which has highlighted reduced growth and baby has dropped lower, I had a lovely chat with some mums in the waiting room (even about breastfeeding) - I managed the anxiety amazingly well, didn’t feel anxious at all talking to the other mums.
It was a student doing my blood and I was brave enough to refuse and request a midwife experienced in taking blood, and when I got panicky when they were about to take my blood I did my techniques and brought the panic down from a 6/10 to a 2/10. They took the blood and I coped!
This would have been absolutely unthinkable 6 months ago, I’m so proud of myself ❤️