Why do some men do this?!?

[cwtchesandprosecco]

I was walking to Sainsbury’s at about 8am this morning, just woken up, listening to a podcast, thinking about all the stuff I need to do at work today, when some man shouts ‘Smile love’ at me. I ignored and walked on, and then on my return trip (he seemed to just be hanging around) shouted ‘I said fucking smile’. What?! Why?

I’ll admit, I probably did look a bit miserable...... but I don’t grin inanely when waking down the street!

I’ve also had men (not today) shout various things in three street (about my appearance or how nice I look....) and one day I’d like to ask them what exactly they thing is going to happen next?

Why on earth do they do it?

*Sorry about the typos- writing anything longer than a watsapp message on my phone rarely works out perfectly for me

Entitlement.
You're supposed to smile and look pretty.

I always think it's a power/intimidation thing. They wouldn't do it to another man- they do it to a woman because they can, because they know the woman will either feel too scared to respond or will just do as they say or if she argues, he can be aggressive and feel it's justified. My view anyway.

Because they see you as a decorative element to their day, not a human.

If you're not smiling or decorative enough, they feel entitled to let you know.

Because you are there to decorate their space and if they feel you are not fulfilling your obligation they will call you out on it

I was once in the supermarket and a random man told me to 'cheer up, love. It might never happen'. It was the day after my mother had died.

It was years ago now, but I still wish that I'd told him that.

I lose control of my middle finger when this happens, it must be some kind of medical condition!

They do it to make you feel uncomfortable.
I think most women have no idea how much men as a class hate us :(

They are the lowest common denominator and I'm sincerely hoping they're a dying breed. I had this while riding my bike about a month or two ago. It's pathetic that someone is that honed in on the facial expression of some random, fleeting passerby.

He’s got problems, that why. They’re not yours, they’re his. You carry on with your life.

"on my return trip (he seemed to just be hanging around) shouted ‘I said fucking smile’."

"And I fucking ignored you."

Because they're arseholes, unfortunately

I reply with " I will when you put your eyes back in your head!" Totally a power thing for them

As a pp said, it’s his problem not your problem.

My teen DD always turns this around,

smile love - say something funny
Wolf whistle- she wolf whistles right back
Also her middle finger is almost working full time.

I was thinking about this the other day, how it always seems to be men who make these quips and comments. I was standing by the empty buggy (had dropped youngest at nursery) and got the “you forgot something [chortle]” 🙄 not that it’s anything other than an overdone “joke” (unlike “smile” as an order which annoys me, and TBH if it’d been a friend I’d bumped into who said that, I’d have laughed) but it’s the fact that I have never, ever had this “banter” from a woman. Always men.

I always think it's a power/intimidation thing. They wouldn't do it to another man- they do it to a woman because they can, because they know the woman will either feel too scared to respond or will just do as they say or if she argues, he can be aggressive and feel it's justified. My view anyway

This, and yes to them thinking we are merely there for decoration.

I remember once a delivery guy said it outside the office and normally I let it go. However, this was the day I found out my mum was diagnosed with diabetes and my aunt was having a mastectomy, I did not let it go.

I shouted, ranted and probably looked like a typical "crazy lady" but it felt good to see him back off.

I had only just moved to London and felt proud of myself for addressing it rather then ignoring him.

The next morning he was outside again and all I got was a wide berth and a hello

Just waiting for someone to demand how did he know you wasn’t smiling... wasn’t you wearing a mask

I just say off

It’s a power trip.

I was out running the other day and a man felt the need to shout at me, "run Forrest" really original I know. But I thought it's highly unlikely he would do the same to a man

Power.

Just tell them to fuck off.

@Pinkywoo

I lose control of my middle finger when this happens, it must be some kind of medical condition!

Me too!

They do it because they think women are put on Earth to decorate it for men. Last time this happened I replied that it was very rude to tell women to smile. He said, ‘I know,’ and I said, ‘Well why are you doing it then?’ He just muttered and sloped off. Ugh, men.

Reckon it's mostly a bullying / clever dick thing.

I realised this a few years back: as a grown man I don't experience the harassment women do; BUT, I do remember "smile, it might never 'appen" and similar clever banter from when I was a teenager, which was never pleasant. It stopped by itself and I never realised why at the time. They don't want to chance getting decked by an adult bloke.

Won't be all of them obviously, I'm sure there are some who pick exclusively on women. But definitely a big element who will be "witty" to anyone smaller than them.