Boyfriend at 14.

[Lifeisarollercoaster21]

How would you handle it if your daughter wanted a boyfriend at 14? She's obsessed with a boy 15 and they have met in secret a couple of times . I think she is too young and have said she should wait but I'm not sure how to handle it as I'm sure they'll want to see each other when lockdown is over. How do other parents handle 'first loves'?

Be kind,be patient,be ready for things you never knew could happen. Discuss consent and the power of no. Hope everything else is a year away

I don't think it's that unusual.
You need to talk to her about boundaries, your rules and expectations from her (and him) and contraception. Ideally, it would be better not to have sex this young but she needs to be confident around protection against pregnancy and STDs.

Just curious;What age were you when you had your first boyfriend? I'm nearly 40 and I was 14 when I had my first boyfriend. It was very normal 25 years ago to have a boyfriend at 14, I'm sure it still is now. In the nicest possible way, I think you're going to have to get over this one.

When you say she wants to have a boyfriend do you mean he wants to have a boyfriend she sleeps with or just she wants to have a boyfriend. Because to be honest if its the later I'm suprised this is the first time it hs come up and that you are concerned about it. Loads of the 13/14/15 year-old have had multiple boyfriends/girlfriends that generally don't last long and are not anything to worry about.

I think it’s normal. Painful for a parent though.

I would drum it in that she shouldn’t be having sex until she is 16 but no matter what protection must be used!

I wouldn't be banning it at this age.

The teenage years are perfect for dating and learning how to handle relationships and the intensity of feelings while still being gently guided by supportive parents.

If you ban relationships then all you'll do is encourage secrecy and they will be learning their boundaries as adults (if they comply at all).

I had a 22yo boyfriend at 14, which makes me although nothing actually happened, but I think a 14/15 relationship is perfectly usual?

As others have said, she needs to know how to keep herself safe, thatvshe doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to and that you're there if she needs you.

I was 13 when I had my first boyfriend (it was very innocent, bit of snogging and hand holding).
My DD is 13 and lots of kids in her year have had boy/girl friends of varying levels of intimacy.

Dd is 19 and has been with her BF for 4 years, they have a flat together, and have lived together for 18 months.
He's not her first bf either.

Crikey I had a boyfriend at 13 - the way I see it if you make a big deal of it she will find ways to see him and speak to him anyway. If you try me on board she's more likely To confide in you x

I'm married to my boyfriend who I started dating at 13. We did have a little break for a year around 17/18

Seems so young when it’s your child but I think it’s pretty normal

Dd1 was into boys st that age, i spoke to her about safe sex and she had boyfriends and i asked her if she wanted to go on the pill. Dd2 is 15 and i cannot imagine boyfriends being on her radar for a good long time and it seems too young to me now. Theres a big age gap. Just goes to show everyone is different