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Original poster

Did being a SAHM turn out well for you?

86 replies

MrsCremuel · 25/01/2021 11:45

Another one of these threads I know.

Are there any people out there who love(d) it/got back into work/didn't get shafted during a divorce etc etc?

I know the risks and do not underestimate them, but would like to hear the positives too.

OP posts:

Garlands5378 · 25/01/2021 18:38

Yes it's worked out fine for us. He's 8 now and I got a part time job recently no problem. Had to give it up after only a few weeks unfortunately as my dad got ill and I'm needed to care for him. But it showed me that I can still get a job despite the gap on my CV.

DH has zero issue or resentment but he's a good egg and works a very low stress job that he enjoys.

Turns out we could only have one child, so I've enjoyed being home with him and making the most of it.

I don't link my identity to a job and looking to see if I can do a bit of freelancing as that would suit me better.

user1471538283 · 25/01/2021 19:04

We split up when my DS was 6 months old. I then couldnt work for a further year and a half. I have no doubt that even though my career is good, it's not as good as it could have been had I not taken the 2 years or had I had a partner who supported me so I could work and build my career faster. I've seen it with friends.

I loved those 2 years with my DS but the emotional toil and the grinding poverty upsets me to this day.

CouldBeOuting · 25/01/2021 19:36

I had fifteen years as a SAHM. As a SAHM I helped with the toddler group, then when both DC were in school I volunteered with the school and the church. I loved being a SAHM and it meant that there was no “juggling” to be dine if DCs were ill. The only time DH had to take unexpected time off was one week when I was seriously ill. Returned to work when youngest DC started secondary school. I work in school administration, term time only. I LOVE my job and my work/life balance.

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Tittyfilarious · 25/01/2021 19:37

It's turned out well for me, I've been home since eldest was born 14 years ago, my husband works 12 hour shifts so it would have been really difficult finding childcare with 2 of us out working. I love being at home I've never regretted it.

MsTSwift · 25/01/2021 19:41

Yes some of the happiest years of my life. Sahm for 6 years so all the pre school years. Started own business when dd2 started school now a higher rate tax payer. But I had a professional skill I knew I could pick up again and a very supportive Dh and was married so it was a considered risk that paid off. Also wasn’t loving my pre dc job it had brutal hours and international travel so happy to give that up.

balzamico · 25/01/2021 19:50

It's worked fantastically for us, kids are now 13 and 16 and it's only now that I'm getting twitchy about what to do with myself. I think lockdown hasn't helped as I have none of my social stuff that I might do during the day plus some hobbies have gone so I'm currently spending far too much time at home cleaning (so it feels).
I'm weighing up my options for volunteering, I loved my job but don't want to and couldn't go back to it. (sales / account management).
The kids are glad I'm here, dh is glad I'm here, it works well for us all re lockdown apart from being a bit unfulfilled personally which is as I say recent and hopefully temporary

TheSunIsStillShining · 25/01/2021 20:09

Loved it. Hated going back to work after 3 years. Then later on I had the chance/medical must to do it again for 2 years. Loved it still :)
Going back: as much as I hated it I really enjoyed it after a few weeks :)

OverTheRubicon · 25/01/2021 23:35

@Daisypaisy2

To the posters saying that they ended up separated. Do you think it was the fact that you was a SAHM? Or do you think that’s the way things worked out unfortunately.

For us I think it actually delayed a split, because his income was enough to support us so long as we were careful, and as SAHM I did everything. When I was working before that I still did everything, but then also used my evenings to catch up on either the paid work or housework that I'd missed out on. However, that kind of housewife-as-doormat model is common in our culture but wasn't actually good for me even as an sahm. His illness was the straw that broke the camels back, but in some ways a blessing - otherwise we might have just kept going onwards and onwards.

HerRoyalNotness · 26/01/2021 00:20

We split for a bit 5 years ago and I was fucked. No job, no savings, stuck in another country, no idea what i was going to do. We are still together but I’m in the same position. I got a job last year but lost it due to Covid. I feel very vulnerable and on edge all the time. It’s no way to live. Keep your job and income, even if you go part time for awhile, don’t give it up.

Neolara · 26/01/2021 00:31

I did it for 14 years. For most of that time, it worked well for us as a family. By the end though,. I was bored to tears. All my friends had gone back to work and I felt desperate to get stuck into something substantial and meaningful. It felt like a massive step to go back to work, but after a couple of false starts, I'm actually back working part time at the place I worked pre-kids and really enjoying it. But I absolutely don't regret staying at home with the kids for all that time.

Daisypaisy2 · 26/01/2021 00:48

@HerRoyalNotness it sounds awful. Are you still in that Country? Are you unable to leave even now?

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